Hurt Comfort and Ron

[elfundeb at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 39283

Elkins, on hurt-comfort:

> A few more thoughts on "hurt-comfort," the dynamic whereby
> female readers tend to become erotically interested in male
> characters who suffer, provided that this suffering is depicted
> 

Let me confess right up front that for a long while I've been wanting to have 
both Lupin and Snape over for drinks . . .  just not at the same time.  Make 
of that what you will.

Elkins again, on why Ron doesn't qualify for hurt comfort:

> Hmmm.  You know what's wrong with poor ickle Ronniekins?  The author
> has it in for him, that's what!  She just doesn't want Ron to see any
> action at all.  She's always knocking his feet out from under him just
> when he rightfully *should* be racking up the crush points.
> 
> Other characters in states of shock get to be "pale."  Ron, even 
> while struggling manfully and heroically with his broken leg, gets 
> hit with "green."  He defends Hermione -- and then winds up belching 
> up slugs.  He confronts his worst phobia -- and then vomits.
> 
> I mean, it's just terrible.  Just when the reader is all primed for 
> developing a crush on Ron, the author smacks her in the face with 
> something profoundly unerotic.  

I actually think it's much broader than that.  She wants us to think poorly 
of him.  In PS/SS, JKR gave us a little glimpse of what Ron can do -- 
mastering a spell under stress or executing a masterful chess game and 
sacrifice, setting up some expectations -- and then in the succeeding books 
she dashes them spectacularly.  For example, it was Ron's initiative that 
sent him and Harry to see Lockhart and accompany him to the Chamber.  But 
Lockhart's blast with the wand succeeded in keeping Ron away from the action 
and Harry gets all the glory.  Then, in PoA, she breaks his leg and turns his 
pet into a villain who knocks him out so he can't participate in the rescue 
of Sirius and Buckbeak.

And in GoF, she tries her very best to make him into a very unappealing 
character.  She makes him jealous.  He fights with his best friend.  He turns 
into an apparent bigot.   He says stupid things.  It's like he lost the 
ability to think.
  
And even when he is thinking, sometimes JKR doesn't really allow him full 
credit.  Here's an example I noted last week when I started to compile a LOON 
list for Pippin of additional instances where Ron is right but for which he 
seldom gets credit.   (I didn't finish it because sometimes I opt for sleep 
over posting).  

In CoS, ch. 16, in the infirmary, Harry pulls the scrap of paper from 
Hermione's hand and makes the basilisk connection, and the fact that it's 
been using the pipes (which Harry would logically know better because Ron has 
not been hearing the voice through the walls).  But then, "Ron suddenly 
grabbed Harry's arm.  'The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets!" he said 
hoarsely.  'What if it's in a bathroom?  What if it's in --'" whereupon Harry 
finishes his sentence for him.  Harry was perhaps thinking along those lines. 
 But Ron is the one who identifies the entrance to the Chamber as in a 
bathroom, and I can't imagine that he would have identified a bathroom other 
than Myrtle's if Harry had not cut him off.  Unfortunately, later when Harry 
is telling Dumbledore about it, he says that he, Harry had guessed "that the 
entrance to the Chamber of Secrets might be in [Moaning Myrtle's] bathroom."  
The effect?  The last reader is left with the idea that Harry worked 
everything out by himself and that Ron was just along for the ride.  So even 
JKR doesn't let Ron get any credit.   (I do note, though, that Dumbledore 
gave 400 points to Gryffindor for Harry and Ron, and not just to Harry.)


And his sort of thing is perpetuated elsewhere. For example, in the Celluloid 
That Must Not Be Named (which my children bought me for Mother's Day so they 
could watch it), the screenwriter changed the troll scene so Ron doesn't act 
until Harry says, "Do something," and then he still dithers around.  Now I 
don't think the CTMNBN is canon, but it's another factor working to crush 
poor Ron's reputation.

Laura stated, on whether Ron can give comfort:

> for example..when Hermione is attacked/hurt by various and sundry people 
> (Malfoy), Harry tends to be the one that goes to her and offers emotional 
> support, while Ron loses his temper and confronts Malfoy -- while this is a 
> reasonable reaction, it doesn't help Hermione very much.
> 
In GoF, when Malfoy's attempt to curse Harry rebounded on Hermione and 
swelled her teeth, it was Ron who went over to Hermione, and he tried to get 
Snape to show some sympathy for her by getting her to show how badly she had 
been disfigured.

Penny on the same issue:

> But, giving comfort?  He says things like "You don't know you'll make a fool 
> of yourself" when Harry is worried about taking flying lessons with the 
> Slytherins in PS/SS.  He offers to make tea for Hagrid when Hagrid is 
> inconsolable.  He seems worried about Harry's reaction to the dementors on 
> the train.  He's not a complete clod when it comes to perception & warmth 
> toward his friends ... but I definitely can't think of instances where he 
> shows aptitude for giving and receiving comfort in an emotionally stable 
> manner at some point in the future.  

I have to disagree with the definition of giving comfort.  Take the tea 
episode in Hagrid's cabin. Hagrid is sobbing and Harry and Hermione attempt 
to console Hagrid by analyzing the situation and coming up with ideas.  But 
it's not working. The tea Ron offers is very comforting; until he gets the 
tea, he's too busy sobbing to focus on what Harry and Hermione are saying.  
"At last, after many more assurances of help, with a steaming mug of tea in 
front of him, Hagrid . . . said, "Yer right.  I can't afford to go ter 
pieces."  Offering tea is a gesture of concern every bit as much as offering 
advice, and quite as effective.  What Hagrid needed was to be calmed down and 
the quote above suggests the tea was just as important as the advice.  (Maybe 
it's just us lawyers who equate advice with comfort!)

Penny continues:

> Strangely enough, even with the deficiencies in his own emotional background 
> and even with the Growing Up Weasley working in Ron's favor, I think at 
> this point in the canon, Harry is head & shoulders above Ron in the 
> department of being in touch with his feelings and being capable of having 
> and responding to his own emotions as well as those of others.  

The books are told from Harry's POV.  Thus, we know how Harry responds 
emotionally, and sometimes he does withdraw, or try not to deal with things 
that are bothering him.  For example, at the beginning of GoF, he tries to 
ignore the pain in his scar, until the WWC events make him realize he has to 
talk about it.   We don't get inside Ron's head, and we can't assume that 
he's not in touch with his feelings.  On the contrary, I've always assumed 
that Ron spent the three weeks of his fight with Harry working through his 
feelings of frustration.

Furthermore, often Harry deals with situations, such as the horror of 
Voldemort in GoF, only because others force him to.  Harry "didn't want to 
have to examine the memories" but Dumbledore made him tell the entire story, 
and this was exactly the right thing to do.  He gets everything he needs to 
help him cope with things.  Lupin helps him deal with the Dementors, 
Dumbledore gives him no more information about his family than he can handle, 
etc.

Penny also assumes that Ron ought to be better off than Harry emotionally 
because of a Growing Up Weasley advantage.  I'm not certain that there is any 
such advantage; yes, loving parents do count for quite a bit, but it's not an 
insurance policy against problems.  And being the sixth child, competing with 
a bunch of noisy or difficult siblings for attention, is not an advantage.  
The One Big Happy Weasley Family is, IMO, a myth.  There's just too much 
conflict.  I think, in fact, that there are a lot of clues that the Weasley 
family dynamic is not healthy for Ron at all.  We've seen conflict between 
Molly and the twins, and between the twins and Percy.  Ron's coping mechanism 
is to work very hard to keep out of all of the mischief -- he withdraws when 
Molly yells at the twins, works hard to make sure the twins don't treat him 
the way they do Percy, tries to stay out of trouble, etc.  But I don't think 
this coping mechanism is working very well as it masks his real issue -- his 
need for attention and his inability to ask for it.

Paradoxically, Harry, despite his orphan status and miserable life 
pre-Hogwarts, has by the end of GoF developed a rather formidable list of 
mentors and comforters.   He has or has had Dumbledore's wisdom, Sirius, 
Lupin, Hagrid, and Molly's mothering.  Even Snape is mentoring him, though in 
a twisted sort of way.  All of these people are specifically looking out for 
Harry's welfare (even Snape, I would argue, though we can question his 
motives), and they make decisions that help Harry deal with situations in a 
positive way. So Harry's history turns out to be an asset.

But Ron doesn't have any of that.  He's just another student.  I don't see 
anybody at Hogwarts mentoring him the way they do Harry, or even Hermione, 
who has McGonagall's mentorship.  His brothers don't do it (not that the 
twins would mentor him in the right direction).  They do more for Harry than 
they do for Ron (like giving him the Marauder's Map).  If Percy tried, it was 
completely ineffectual.  Percy deals with Ron the way that Molly deals with 
the twins -- such as when he catches Ron coming out of Moaning Myrtle's 
bathroom in CoS.  ("Percy swelled in a manner that reminded Harry forcefully 
of Mrs. Weasley.")  The oldest brothers simply aren't available.  Molly's too 
busy with all her other charges, including Harry.  (We have no idea what 
Arthur does, except for at the WWC where he keeps Ron from shredding the 
shamrocks on his hat while the veela are dancing.)

Harry and Ron are, it seems to me, on opposite trajectories in terms of their 
support systems.  Harry's gets better all the time, while Ron's family is all 
busy elsewhere.  But the fact that the Weasleys are so supportive of Harry 
and that he enjoys life at the Burrow so much obscures the fact that for Ron, 
his family is not the asset it seems to be from Harry's POV.
  
Debbie, who like others has a compulsion to defend Ron


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