A Taste of Moody, With A Big Scoop of Krum and Karkaroff

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 39285

Elkins wrote (in an effort to beat back Sexy!Moody)

>"Horribly mutilated" is generally considered a turn-off, I'm 
> afraid.  Even more so than greasy hair and sallow skin and yellow 
> teeth.  Snape's physical drawbacks aren't sufficient to put him 
>out of the running.  Moody's are.  Monstrously unjust, but there 
>you have it.
> 
> Also, he's kind of old.

Aw, come on.  Be *fair* to Moody.  Yes, he is grotesque, but in a 
rather adorable, needy way, don't you think?  Besides, there are 
*advantages* to some of Moody's deformities.  This is a man who 
could watch your back for you during a passionate embrace, after all.

No?  Are you sure?

Well, OK, then.  

But there are two other men who ought to generate Hurt-Comfort 
feelings, but for some reason, no one ever has anything positive to 
say about them.

The first is Victor.  Victor is a Star Athlete who gets a bloody 
nose at the QWC, taking an iron bludger "full in the face."  He 
doesn't so much as flinch; it's all in a day's work for Victor.  
Still, he manages to catch the Snitch, after diving with "flecks of 
blood" visible in the air.  He dives from his ship into the frigid 
waters of the Lake.  Krum gets Stunned by Fake Moody.  Later, he 
gets Stunned again in the maze and "fell forward, and lay 
motionless, facedown in the grass."  And, of course, Victor is young 
and a man of few words, the Strong Silent Type, which we all are 
powerless to resist.

So tell me.  Why is it that no one crushes on Quiddich Star Victor 
Krum?  Why is it that the women don't hurl themselves forward to 
fall at Victor's duck feet, pledging to help him learn to stand up 
straight?

Then we have Karkaroff.  Karkaroff spent time in Azkaban, just like 
Sirius, and turned traitor to his friends, just like Snape.  
Karkaroff takes a beating, too.  The Dark Mark burns on his arm, 
causes him to panic and show far more concern than Snape.  Karkaroff 
also gets intimidated by Fake Moody, just like Snape.  Then, 
Karkaroff is slammed into a tree by a giant, his "feet dangling in 
midair," Hagrid's fist at his throat, finally sliding down the tree 
trunk to "huddle at its roots."  At the end of GoF, Karkaroff is on 
the run, fleeing for his very life.  Poor Igor!

So why don't the women folk around here fall all over each other for 
the chance to pluck the twigs and leaves from Karkaroff's silver 
hair?  

What is the problem?  We see these things happen; we aren't merely 
told about them.  Neither Krum nor Karkaroff is passive.  Neither is 
physically grotesque, and neither falls apart when they are 
injured.  True, Karkaroff seems to have some dental issues, but no 
worse than Snape.  If anything, Karkaroff seems to be a snappy 
dresser, a nurturing mentor to young Victor. 

So.  Any takers for a slice of Karkaroff or Krum?

Cindy (who may have to start a support group for women who are 
willing to crush on some of the less obvious crush objects in the 
books, as there is far less competition for their affection)