Comforting!Ron, Sensitive!Harry

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 39357


Charisjulia said:

<<<<I think that the most comforting thing about Ron is that he takes 
people as they come. He accepts them for what they are, no questions 
asked. 

GoF, "Beaubatons and Durmstrang": "That was a lie, * Harry,*" said 
Hermione sharply over breakfst, when he told her and Ron what he had 
done "You * didn't* imagine you scar hurting and you know it."

"So what?" said Harry. "He's not going back to Azkaban because of me."

"Drop it," said Ron sharply to Hermione.


Hermione's right here of course. Harry * did* lie. But that's not 
what he wants to hear. Ron isn't handing out moral lectures. He's 
simply accepting Harry's decision and the reasons behind it. Should 
he have done so? Well, that's another story. . . But his attitude is 
the most * comforting* if not anything else.>>>>


Penny responded:


<<<<<<<Well, my first point would be that Ron doesn't just accept 
people for who they are.  Lupin is a "werewolf" in Ron's eyes, not 
Professor Lupin, an excellent DADA instructor who has been especially 
helpful to Harry.  Hagrid is a stupid git who mentioned his giantess 
mother where someone could overhear him.  I don't much care for Ron's 
prejudices ... and yes, I do see them as prejudices so far.  I've 
heard the counter-arguments ... but I still see him as reactionary 
and a bit "old school" if you will.  He doesn't understand Hermione's 
progressive attitudes (progressive vis-a-vis the wizarding world 
norms that is).  This just seems a huge red flag of potential 
conflict for the two of them IMHO.

Second, I really don't think that particular incident is evidence 
that Ron accepts people for "who they are."  It is evidence that he 
was perceptive enough to know that Harry was more concerned about 
Sirius' safety than he was about his scar hurting.  I think this is 
evidence that Hermione was most worried about *Harry* and not so much 
about what might or might not happen to Sirius.  She was so worried 
about Harry's safety that she neglected to pick up on what was more 
important to Harry at that moment.  So, this is good evidence that 
Hermione is not perfect in fact.  :::smiles at Pippin:::  But, I 
don't think it makes your point really, Charis Julia.>>>>>>>>>


Oh, no, I really did not want to turn the discussion to Ron's 
prejudices. . . I refuse to be dragged into * that* endless 
argument. ;^) And anyway prejudice or the lack of it was not what I 
was referring to. Probably a bit of a bad choice of words there. What 
I meant was that Ron is not. . . err. . . oh drat! I hit on just the 
right word at 4 am last night but then I went to bed and. . . hang on 
it might come to me again. . . Nope. Gone. Blast. Anyway, you'll have 
to put up with the roundabout explanation now.


OK, so forget about accepting people. What I meant is that Ron 
doesn't set moral standards for his friends to live up to. This scene 
does illustrate this point. Ron isn't thinking about truth--telling 
here. He's thinking about Harry. Hermione's first reaction is to 
concentrate on the lie, not Harry's feelings. So, I'm really sorry, 
Penny, but I'm afraid that how this proves that she's worried about 
Harry more than Sirius is not evident to me. Why would Harry get into 
trouble here for lying? The worst thing that could happen to him 
would be a scold from Sirius. And the scene tells me nothing 
whatsoever about how she feels about the prospect of Sirius's arrest, 
it only evinces her aversion for lying. Which is of course a * good* 
thing. But not what Harry wants to hear and therefore not 
exceptionally comforting for him. Ron's attitude is comforting OTOH. 
He picks up on what his friend needs right then at once, realises 
that this is a no win situation and doesn't begin to lecture Harry 
about the way he chose to handle it.


*    *    *


I was stunned to see Penny describing Harry as sensitive:

<<<<<<<As far as I can see for the most part Harry tends to be rather 
more 
than less unaware of others' feelings. His insensitivity in fact 
often reaches the point of downright rudeness. He's definitely abrupt 
more than once to Ginny and both of the Creeveys not to mention Dobby 
and Moaning Myrtle. I know he doesn't like being hero-worshipped but 
I'm sure it does nothing for Colin's confidence to be cold-shouldered 
and brushed off all the time. I love Harry, but he's famous and he's 
just got to learn to deal with that. And you know that little saying 
of Sirius's about men and their inferiors?>>>>>>


Penny pointed out that Ginny and Colin are by no means Harry's 
inferiors. Of course not. I absolutely agree. Not as human beings or 
students, no. I merely used that word because it was the one Sirius's 
uses there. But by no means did I mean to insinuate that they're 
inferior as human beings or students or wahtever, though of course it 
would come across that way. Once again my mistake. Sloppy use of 
language.


What I did mean however is that Harry is the one in the position of 
power here. It's the Creeveys, Ginny and Dobby who are hero—
worshipping * him*. It's only common courtesy I'd say to give back a 
proper response. You know, the kind where one can actually make out 
the words and not just a jumble of mumblings and the kind where one 
can see the speaker's face instead of his back fleeing.


I realise Harry's got other troubles on his mind what with unwanted 
photo shoots and being de—boned and everything, but the fact remains 
that at least in my book "No", "I'm in a hurry" and "It'll be boring" 
* are* rude and insensitive.


As proof of Harry's sensitivity Penny quoted JKR:
"He's delicate isn't he?"
"He is. He's more your sensitive hero. And more of that stuff 
happens."

And then listed:


<<<<<**  giving his last chocolate frog to Neville in PS/SS
**  treating Dobby so courteously, even knowing Dobby was about to 
get him in hot water ...CoS
** his reactions to the Dementors seem evidence of sensitivity & 
emotional depth to me ... he cries when he hears his father's voice 
after all
** he tries to make things up with Hermione *twice* in POA ... but 
both times, it's *Ron* who foils the reconciliation
** he's *worried* through much of GoF
** everything from the point that Harry sees Cedric's murder to the 
*end* of GoF ... *all* of it shows incredible depth of emotion & 
sensitivity on Harry's part IMO>>>>>>>


Err, I wasn't saying that Harry isn't delicate. What I meant by lack 
of sensitivity was lack of concern for others feelings. (we were 
talking about comfort giving weren't we?) Hence the Colin, Myrtle etc 
examples. Of course he's delicate, he'd have to be made of stone to 
not be after what he's been through! In fact he's probably * too* 
sensitive that way. He's often so caught up in all his own trials and 
tribulations (by no means insignificant ones either) that he just 
doesn't get round to thinking about others.


So, as far as sensitivity towards others is concerned, well, you've 
got Neville and the Chocolate Frog and err, nothing else that I can 
think of. No, trying to make up with Hermione does not count IMO. And 
that's because I don't see an awful lot of trying going on there. 
Making a suggestion and then giving up at once when Ron turns it down 
fails to impress me. And the best he manages when Hagrid asks the 
boys to give her a break is to exchange an "uncomfortable look" with 
Ron and then forget about the matter completely. Not enough. IMO both 
Ron and Harry treated Hermione pretty bad in third year.


Charis Julia.