I Was Easily Annihilated (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 39471

I Was Easily Annihilated (from GoF, Ch. 33)

(To the tune of I Am Easily Assimilated from Leonard Bernstein's 
Candide)

Dedicated to Suzanne Chiles

Hear a 30-second clip of the original at:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000003GA7/ref=pd_sim_music/103
-2503752-4541420

THE SCENE: The graveyard at Little Hangleton. LUCIUS addresses the 
resurrected VOLDEMORT. 

LUCIUS (spoken): Master, we crave to know ... we beg you to tell 
us ... how you have achieved this . . . this miracle . . . how you 
managed to return to us. .. .
VOLDEMORT: Ah, what a story it is, Lucius. And it begins - and ends - 
with my young friend here

..

(music, tempo di tango)
I was born to be highly immoral 
The Potters died as I simply chortled
But one curse more, it's a sudden shortfall!
Di dee di! I nearly died! 
I was easily annihilated
I was so easily annihilated.

My goal was to never kick the bucket
I cursed the boy and bad luck, I struck it
My body, I was then forced to chuck it
Waves of pain! There goes my reign!
I was easily annihilated
I was so easily annihilated.

It's silly, that foolish girl Lily
Her magic, her so-ancient magic
She turned me to total toast
Less than the meanest ghost
I could not use my wand
Servants would not respond

CHORUS OF DEATH EATERS
Feeling a tad sick
You headed for the Adriatic
A snake, a flea, a bumblebee
A wee mousy
Were what you had to be.  

VOLDEMORT
I fought to exist
From moment to moment to subsist 

CHORUS
Adieu, taboo You-Know-Who, Aurors pursue
Your crew flew the coup.

VOLDEMORT
I waited to achieve my comeback
But you guys, you proved to be bum hacks

VOLDEMORT & CHORUS
Then Quirrell came by
The brains of a squirrel had that guy
`Twas so Keystone, his cover blown,
I/You lost the Stone
And I/you was/were sent Home Alone

CHORUS
Tell Quirrell "bye-bye".
Bye-bye!
Bye-bye!
Hey!

Orchestral interlude – VOLDEMORT and DEATH EATERS vigorously tango 
around the tomb of Tom Riddle 

VOLDEMORT
It seemed I would be termed a failure
But suddenly, in comes Wormtail, ya
..

VOLDEMORT & CHORUS (to Wormtail)


Provided the clue
You captured Bertha Jorkins who knew
All that was up with the Cup
We caught that pup
And now we Death Eaters will sup!
So, Harry, thank you!

VOLDEMORT & CHORUS all their arms toward Tom Riddle's tomb

Thank you! 
Thank you!
Hey!

  - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm