[HPforGrownups] TBAY: Minerva McGonagall Is Ever So Evil!/Stoned!Harry

[Edblanning at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 39572


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Eloise returns to Diana's castle, somewhat elated after the England Quidditch 
team's historic defeat of Argentina and makes her way into the drawing room 
for a celebratory drink.

What has happened? The packing cases are gone and through the clouds of 
incense wafting from silver thuribles (thuribles? She's sure she didn't help 
Diana to pack those) she can make our plumps sofas and lush hangings. 

Mmm.....Porphyria's been at work. She approaches the decanter. Yes, 
Porphyria's *definitely* been at work, she thinks, testily, as she pours the 
last remaining drop into a glass.

Porphyria suddenly bursts in, evidently in a state of high excitement. 

'You're back....About time'

'Well, it was the match.......Did you see......'

'Match? What match? Quidditch?......Nah....Look, this is far more important!'

and she thrusts into Eloise's hands a whole sheaf of parchments, all of which 
contain further evidence of the Evilness of Minerva McGonagall, not to 
mention a sighting of the rare Ericius Cestriensis Volatilis. It's not the 
first time Eloise has encountered this beast. She does hail from Cheshire, 
after all, but a sighting round the Bay......

The evidence is certainly impressive and more members of the OFH are always 
welcome. Eloise notes that Elkins (just visible through the haze, playing 
croquet on the lawn outside) has actually asked for membership and makes a 
mental note to invite Wynnde and Errol to apply.
     
Elkins asks a very pertinent question. Just *what* was McGonagall doing at 
Privet Drive that day? What indeed? She's not very keen on Harry being left 
with the Dursleys, is she? Why not? Does she want him brought back to 
Hogwarts so that *she* can keep an eye on him?

And what about when Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire? She's very 
keen that Harry isn't disqualified for cheating, isn't she? (And she sucks up 
to Dumbledore in the process.)

But what's this? Cindy is in the garden, spin-bowling Dicentra's Sirius Black 
Is Ever So Evil hedgehog with remarkable aplomb for one unused to cricket. 

'It's croquet, Cindy.'

Cindy looks unabashed. One strange English game is much like another, after 
all.
Eloise give Cindy yet another bar for her Special Services to the OFH medal 
(she's unsure whether Dicentra *really* wants a badge or not) and tries to 
wrest the flamingo from Elkins so that Cindy can join in the game. 
Unfortunately, since Eloise strangled the first pink flamingo to make 
FEATHERBOAs for herself and George (or was it Marina? Eloise sometimes has 
trouble distinguishing them), games of croquet have involved taking turns 
with the second.
Eloise has misgivings about this situation. Croquet is a particularly vicious 
game. Perhaps it's just as well they don't have a flamingo each, or it might 
come to blows.

Eloise makes a mental tally of the hedgehogs at present being cared for at 
the castle. There's Bagman, Fudge, Snape, Sirius, Lupin, McGonagall, Mrs 
Lestrange!Arabella, Fred Weasley, even a little immature hedgehog called 
Harry. New applications flood in on a nearly daily basis. Perhaps this is the 
time to ask for help. Perhaps Porphyria would share the burden of office 
duties now that she's finished with that interior design contract.

But Porphyria is already busy, perusing plans for a gazebo with Diana (who, 
quite frankly, has *des idees au dessous de sa gare*, if you know what I 
mean).

But another of the parchments she has left catches Eloise's eye.
Arcum mentions the Christmas dinner in GoF. This reminds Eloise of all those 
conversations about Stoned!Harry. 
Trelawney makes a fuss about which of Harry and Ron leaves the table first. 
What is Dumbledore's response (remember that we have made much of 
decapitation imagery)? That it doesn't matter, unless she thinks there is a 
mad *axeman* in the entrance hall.
A small thing, but one that Eloise has been waiting for a suitable 
opportunity to point out.

Eloise
(off to check that Abelard  #,##,#">  hasn't been mistaken for a croquet ball)

P.S.  side note to Errol
The normal British spelling of grey *is* grey! James seems to have used an 
Americanism. ;-) 



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