TBAY Cruciatus Makes You Stronger! (in the Safe House, with lots of canon)

[bluesqueak]

No: HPFGUIDX 40476


Pip is in the Safe House,  fiddling with the new Audioscope 
headphones (an invention of her own) and overhears Cindy making the 
following statement.

"Torture is the ultimate high for Evil Overlords, don't you think?"

Pip takes the Audioscope headphones off, sighs deeply and turns to 
Sneeky, the Safe House-Elf. "Sneeky, have we managed to arrange that 
Portkey on the Big Bang yet? I think it's time Captain Cindy had a 
little debriefing."

"Sneeky has arranged the Portkey for Captain Cindy, Mistress Pip. 
Sneeky has made it a cigarette end. Sneeky thinks that Captain Cindy 
will not allow such a thing on her deck, Captain Cindy will be 
throwing it overboard."

A faint, tinny sound is still coming out of the Audioscope - Cindy is 
still ranting. Pip says "Wonderful, Sneeky," quickly puts the 
Audioscope headphones back on, and trains the Omnioculars on Captain 
Cindy, replaying to the start of the paragraph.

"Torture. It's the last thing Voldemort thinks about when he lays his 
slimy head on his pillow, and it's the first thing he thinks about 
when he turns off his alarm clock in the morning. He's addicted; he 
can't help himself; he can't get enough. Torture is better than 
killing, better than controlling. Torture is the ultimate high for 
Evil Overlords, don't you think?"

At this point Captain Cindy spots the cigarette end on her clean 
deck, and gives a howl of disgust. She looks around for her crew, but 
currently they all appear to be fighting off a bunch of pirates 
trying to steal more can(n)nons. "Ha!", she says, "trust pirates to 
be untidy smokers!". She reaches down, grabs the end,  and 
immediately feels as though a hook just behind her navel had been 
suddenly jerked irresistably forwards. Speeding forward in a howl of 
wind and swirling colour, her feet slam into the ground.

As she falls forward she notices that she is now in a large, 
comfortable looking room with lots of deep leather armchairs. The 
pipsqueak is just taking off some headphones, and as Cindy tries to 
get her balance back, Pip goes over to one of the armchairs. It has a 
small table next to it, containing a pot of tea, two teacups (with 
saucers), and a plate of digestive biscuits [1].

"Cindy!" says Pip. "So nice of you to drop in. Just a little 
debriefing. Welcome to the Safe House. I'm sure you'll be glad to 
know there are no *real* Graveyards in this district, and Cruciatus 
is regarded as strictly Unforgivable. Sneeky, if you could just take 
the Portkey away until we've finished? I don't think we want to have 
Cindy doing an unscheduled Potter, do we? And could you put the two 
milk bottles on the step? Thanks."

Pip pours herself a cup of tea. "Tea, Cindy? Or do you prefer coffee?"

"WhatinheckamIdoinghere!" snarls Cindy, "and no, I DON'T want a cup 
of tea!"

"Oh, if you insist." says Pip. "Just a little debriefing. This is the 
scary part of the bay, you know, where all the spies and conspiracy 
theorists hang out. But, if you insist on starting the debriefing 
immediately, then -"

Pip clicks her fingers, and Cindy's voice plays back from a concealed 
speaker.

"See, in the back of Voldemort's feeble little mind, he knows that 
Cruciatus will make Harry stronger. But Voldemort has the weakness 
that has plagued Evil Overlords since the dawn of time -- he can't 
resist an opportunity to torture someone. And who can blame him?"

Pip shakes her head sadly. "Cindy. Cindy. Still insisting that 
Cruciatus makes you stronger. Which double-agent fed you that little 
bit of misinformation? Voldemort can't resist torturing someone? Oh, 
dear. What about his behaviour to Cedric in the Graveyard scene? Does 
Cedric get tortured before he's killed? No. Voldemort doesn't want to 
waste time getting off on torturing Cedric 'spare' Diggory when he 
could be ordering Wormtail to capture Harry Potter. No, with Cedric 
it's a quick AK without even a hint of Cruciatus (P. 553 GoF UK 
hardback)"

Cindy scowls: "Yeah, well, Cedric. I don't think Voldemort even 
really notices Cedric. Cedric obviously isn't his type. But in the 
Graveyard itself, if I'm reading the, uh, sex thread correctly, 
Voldemort is experiencing some serious *passion* there, which he 
finds downright irresistable. He just plain loses his head when he 
has been aroused in this fashion; after all, it has been a *long* 
time since Voldemort's last time torturing someone while not in slimy 
baby form. "

"Ah," says Pip darkly. "Yes. The Sex Thread. Well, I suppose one does 
have to be prepared to go, uh, under-the-covers occasionally in 
undercover work. But really, while there is evidence of arousal, so 
to speak, I don't think there is any particular evidence of uh, loss 
of control.  I pointed this out [in a slightly different context] in 
post # 40044 (Spying Game II)"

Pip clicks her fingers again, but this time Pip's own recorded voice 
issues forth, accompanied by quotations from can(n)on which appear as 
illuminated writing on the wall. 

" Who gets punished during the speech? 

Pettigrew/Wormtail, who we *know* spent 12 years hiding as a rat 
rather than run back to Voldemort.
Wormtail gets a tough deal during this scene. He gets to cut off his 
own arm, gets slammed against a tombstone:
"Wormtail, who was lifted off the ground and thrown against the 
headstone where Harry was tied." ( p.559, GoF UK hardback )

Add this to Voldemort's treatment of Wormtail in Chapter One, and you 
rather get the impression Voldemort doesn't forgive lightly.

Who else? Avery. Avery, whose famous 'crisis of nerve' probably 
suggests a genuinely guilty conscience. Avery, who interrupts 
Voldemort's speech, he's so terrified. Avery, who is 'trembling from 
head to foot'. ( p. 562, GoF UK hardback )

Avery, who gets a solid blast of Crucio, and then gets told:
"You ask for forgiveness? I do not forgive....I want thirteen years' 
repayment before I forgive you. " ( p. 563, GoF UK hardback)

Who else of the supposedly unanimous-in-their-disloyalty DE's gets 
whacked around the graveyard?

Err... that's it, really. Still, I suppose torturing people can get a 
bit boring. :-)"

Pip stares gravely at Cindy. "Since Voldemort at this point then 
concerns himself with giving Wormtail his new silver hand, rather 
than asking one of the DE's for a cigarette so he can have a post 
torture smoke, I think we have to conclude that he doesn't find the 
return of his full torture powers *that* irresistable.  

"Er, yeah, so, ok the DE's aren't really what he gets off on either. 
Ok, so he does seem able to stop torturing people after he gets his 
new body. But see, he doesn't experience the, uh, full effect..."

Cindy pauses, suddenly aware that Pip is looking at her with one of 
those 'keep talking, because I'm trying to see how big a hole you can 
dig yourself into' looks. 

 "Uh, he doesn't experience the full, *uncontrollable* effect until 
he gets to Harry.  So his stronger side tells him *not* to torture 
Harry, but he's just not thinking straight and he loses sight of his 
own best interests."

"I see." says Pip. "You have been reading certain threads, haven't 
you? Do you think we ought to mention this weakness of Voldemort's to 
Dumbledore? Is it just Harry, do you think, or would it work with all 
boys of a certain age? Not that I'm terribly certain Dumbledore would 
use the information; I know I've been accused of turning him a little 
grey, but I don't think even greynightgowned!Snape would consider 
that one for part of the 'weaken and destroy Voldemort' Plan. Not 
even if you designated it 'Plan XXXX'.

Cindy gulps, but destroyer captains are a breed noted for the bull-
headed stubborness that will fight a battle to the end. She attacks 
back bravely.

"Besides, Voldemort figures that, no matter how strong Harry is, he 
still can't block AK. No one can. So what's the harm in having a 
little bit of *fun*. Geez, think how *impressed* the DEs would be 
with Voldemort's bravery, his confidence in his own power, if 
Voldemort *strengthens* his enemy before killing him. Oooh, that just 
about gives me *goosebumps* just to think of it. ;-)"

Pip pauses to think that she doesn't really want to mention what 
*else* sailors are noted for. She sighs, clicks her fingers, and 
produces another excerpt from post # 40044

"Voldemort's Avada  Kedavra is timed carefully, and sent when Harry 
has just launched his own attack. 'Voldemort was ready. As Harry 
shouted " Expelliarmus!", Voldemort cried "Avada Kedavra!" ' (p. 575, 
GoF UK Hardback )."

"So Voldemort thinks Harry can't block an AK, does he?" Pip says " 
Why, then, is he so careful to launch one ONLY when Harry has 
launched his own attack? To counter-attack, rather than attack and 
allow Harry to make a blocking defence? And what about all the other 
people in the Wizarding World who so foolishly made Cruciatus an 
Unforgivable! " She pauses, and takes a thoughtful sip of her 
tea. "Goodness, it was just because they don't want the WW full of 
incredibly powerful wizards - silly me, for thinking otherwise."

Cindy shakes her head violently. "No, no, no. It's unforgivable 
because the larger wizarding world doesn't *know* it makes wizards 
stronger, see. How would they? Those do-gooders banned Cruciatus 
because it *looks* so bad in application. They never reached the 
larger question of whether it might have some useful side effects."

Cindy nods with deep satisfaction, thinking that she's *destroyed* 
Spy Game II without even breaking a sweat. 

Pip takes another sip of tea and contemplates her digestive biscuit 
thoughtfully. Then she looks up at the ceiling.

"Let me see, now. Bertha just overdosed on Cruciatus, you say. "

Cindy nods firmly.

"And any super strength the Longbottoms now have in their padded cell 
at St. Mungo's is assumed to be purely due to their complete 
insanity, and has never been connected to the Cruciatus effect."

Cindy nods a little less firmly, not entirely sure where this is 
leading.

"And when Fake!Moody remarks that Cruciatus 'was very popular once' 
(GoF p. 190 UK hardback) then we're to assume that *no-one* who ever 
got a blast noticed a sudden increase in their power? That it was 
never tried on, say, a Squib, even though Filch in CoS is convinced 
that Mrs Norris was attacked *because* he was a Squib (CoS Ch. 9 p. 
109 UK paperback) and Tom Riddle talks about attacking the *Squibs* 
cat? (CoS p. 229). No Squibs suddenly noticed that they could now do 
magic? Nothing?"

Pip continues: "No one ever notices anything about this Cruciatus 
side-effect; despite torture being so common that Bill Weasley 
describes the lies the DE's all told as being about 
Voldemort 'forcing them to kill and torture people' (GoF UK hardback 
p. 128)? But in all this, er, orgy of torture nobody wonders about 
*that* particular side effect? My goodness, how unobservant good 
wizards are."

Pip leans back and crunches her digestive biscuit. "Cindy, I have no 
philosophical objection to Big Bangs. In fact, provided they're 
preceded by careful plotting, the bigger the bang, the better. And, 
ideally, of course, a true Big Bang should send you straight back to 
can(n)on, trying to find out the precise details of the deception 
practiced upon you, the deception that makes a Bang such a stunning 
surprise. 

But I'm afraid 'Cruciatus makes you stronger!' doesn't make a 
contribution. It's misinformation, leading you down a false path. 
It's designed to make our agents feel that Cruciatus is no bad thing, 
that they needn't bother avoiding it. Which is exactly what our 
opponents want, of course."

Cindy stands up, and stomps over to the window, sulking. Pip strolls 
over, and gazes out at the bay.

"It's quite all right, Cindy, we all of us make mistakes. Personally, 
I'm expecting a howler from the Mods any minute because I forgot to 
install some can(n)on when I set this place up. I've always 
considered you one of our best Captains; I don't think one little 
blind alley is *too* serious."

Cindy glares. Then points dramatically out of the window, narrowly 
missing Pip's ear.

"WHERE is my ship? Is there a SHIP in sight out there? How can you 
have Theory Bay without SHIP's! You haven't even got a dinghy in this 
part of the bay."

Just then a periscope breaks through the surface of the water. Cindy 
stares at it incredulously.

"Submarines." says Pip briefly [for once]. "Elkins suggested them, 
and I thought 'WHAT a good idea.' "

Cindy looks completely disgusted. "Have you got a return Portkey for 
me? I would like to return to my ship. My floating-on-top-of-the 
water ship, if you DON'T mind."

"Certainly. Sneeky!" Pip turns round, and discovers that, like all 
good House-Elfs, Sneeky has anticipated her and brought the return 
Portkey. Sneeky also takes the opportunity to unobtrusively slip a 
scrap of paper into Pip's hand, before placing the Portkey on the 
table for Cindy to use.

"I think you'll find, Captain, that this will return you to the deck 
of your ship" says Pip, smiling pleasantly.

Cindy sniffs, touches the Portkey, and vanishes. Pip looks at the 
scrap of paper in her hand. It reads: 'Cindy (hoping Pip will just 
concede the point and offer up an Unconditional Surrender)'

Pip looks blank for a moment. "Sneeky, have you any idea 
what 'unconditional surrender' means?"

"Oh, yes, Mistress Pip, Sneeky knows that one. Sneeky knows 
that 'unconditional surrender' is when you pretends to surrender, and 
then organises undercover resistance movements and guerilla warfares."

"Oh." Pip brightens. "Sounds like it might be interesting to try some 
day."  She strolls over to the Ommioculars. "Cindy should be arriving 
just about now..." She adjusts them carefully, and puts on the 
Audioscope headphones. A large splash is heard.

"Tut, tut, silly me. I forgot that the return journey is to just 
*outside* the deck of her ship." Pip sighs. " Still, with the type of 
posts she seems to have been reading lately, a nice cold bath should 
do her a LOT of good."

Pip

[1] Digestive biscuits are large plain cookies, known for going 
nicely with tea. You can use them for dunking in the tea, as well.