Parenting Styles -- More on Molly & the Twins

[Penny & Bryce]

No: HPFGUIDX 36024

Hi all --

Eileen said:

 >
 > > And it makes me very mad somehow that people would think that this
 > > way of bringing up children is wrong, something that Mrs. Weasley
 > > really should examine her conscience for, and beg Ron's pardon about.

Susanne responded:

 >
 > Well, while it might not be wrong, it's certainly only one way of 
parenting.
 >
 > When you give your parents gifts, don't you try to get them something 
they will like,

instead of just anything?
 > Should you instead think "who cares if they like it, I've done my duty?".
 > This may a be a bit harsh, but that's what the reverse  sounded like 
to me.

That's what it sounded like to me too, Eileen. It is subjective of 
course -- one's parenting style probably reflects in large measure the 
way one was parented for example.

We don't know if Ron *has* ever said anything to Molly about the color 
maroon or corned beef. If he has politely noted that he dislikes maroon 
& prefers blue for example, then I do fault Molly *to some extent*. If 
Ron's never said anything to her & just grouses about it out of her 
hearing, then it's really more his problem. Of course, even if he's not 
directly said, "I hate maroon, I look terrible in it, and I *love* 
blue," she still might pick up on his preferences I would think. Then 
again, I've no experience with large families, being one of two kids 
myself. Maybe parents with tons of kids do lose track of who likes & 
dislikes what. My mom spent years telling me how good I looked in red 
but always bought what I preferred in terms of color (I do, as it turns 
out, look good in red ... but always preferred other colors when I was 
younger).

I think I'm bothered overall more with how Harry seems to get more 
attention & care from Molly than Ron does. "I chose green because I 
thought it would bring out the color of your eyes, dear," followed 
shortly by her terse comments to Ron who was horrified by his own dress 
robes. Even if maroon *was* the only one available in her price range, 
she *could* have taken off the lace cuffs for him & perhaps tried to 
spiff it up somewhat magically (after all, *Ron* is able to scissor off 
the lace, albeit badly).

 >
 > And while forcing someone to eat something they can't stand
 > may make some people like it later, it works the opposite way
 > for may others.

Yep. Trying to force me to eat green veggies was futile. Call me crazy 
but I guess I don't get why it would be important for people to force 
themselves to like every food put before them. We all have likes & 
dislikes & IMHO, we should be allowed to follow our instincts on 
something as basic as food.

Back to Molly and the Twins (I know this is a few days old, but I 
haven't been able to respond yet) --

Jo Serenadust said:

> Do you really think that there's the slightest chance of the twins
> allowing their *mother* choose their careers?  She's just being a
> typical worrywart mom here, and she IMO knows better than anyone
> that they will do as they darn well please once they're out of
> Hogwarts.  Just wait and see.

Yes, but they are in their final year of Hogwarts; now is the time to be 
making those career decisions.  It's time for Molly to let go IMHO.  I 
would think it would be evident that with only one more year of 
schooling, her constant interference & nagging isn't going to do a darn 
bit of good & will only cause strife.

Yeah, I still have some reservations about Molly's parenting style 
overall and wouldn't agree that she's portrayed completely positively in 
all cases.  But, that's just my subjective judgment, based on my own 
experiences as a child and now a parent.  :--)

Penny