More on Parenting Styles WAS :Re: Snape / Bowman Wright / Ron / Molly / Gred&For

[serenadust]

No: HPFGUIDX 36025


> 
> 
> Hi,
> 
> Sunday, March 03, 2002, 2:39:12 PM, lucky_kari wrote:
> 
> > And it makes me very mad somehow that people would think that 
this 
> > way of bringing up children is wrong, something that Mrs. 
Weasley 
> > really should examine her conscience for, and beg Ron's pardon 
about.
>
Susanne wrote:

 
> Well, while it might not be wrong, it's certainly only one
> way of parenting.
> 
> When you give your parents gifts, don't you try to get them
> something they will like, instead of just anything?
> Should you instead think "who cares if they like it, I've
> done my duty?".
> This may a be a bit harsh, but that's what the reverse
> sounded like to me.
> 
> It isn't that much of a hardship for a parent to buy the
> same shirt in a color that is acceptable to both the parent
> and the child (if the choice isn't limited by some rule,
> like school uniforms, for example).
> And would it have really been such big trouble to take off
> the lace, at least?
> And why *always* maroon as a color?
> If you're looking for cheap clothing, I'm sure it would be
> easier to be a little more flexible with the colors, instead
> of searching for things in that particular color.
> 
> And while forcing someone to eat something they can't stand
> may make some people like it later, it works the opposite way
> for may others.
> 
> And there are many other choices for cheap sandwich
> material.
> 
> But mostly it *is* a matter a different perceptions, I
> guess.


It occurs to me in this discussion that nearly everyone is looking 
at the Molly/Ron corned beef/maroon discussion from the point of 
view of the child, and not a parent of multiple school-age children.
Not to say that the posters themselves are children but just saying 
that they don't seem to have any personal experience with bringing 
up children in this age-range (if I'm wrong about this, please let 
me know).
Having left a fairly substantial professional career in order to 
bring up 2 kids (now 11 and 13), it's really a high priority to me 
that I *get it right* as much as humanly possible.  This *is* my job 
now.  Even so, more than once my kids have come home from school 
telling me pointedly that I mixed up their sandwiches AGAIN.  Yes, I 
know which one likes pb&j and which one likes ham & cheese, but 
somehow in the morning chaos with permission slips and bakesale 
money and band instruments,I screw it up.
Now considering that Molly has 4 of them (in PS/SS) to do laundry 
for, pack for, and get to the train station on time, is it 
indicative of an indifferent mother to give Ron the wrong sandwiches?
(I had visions of Percy groaning over Ron's egg salad, which wound 
up in his pack) No one has mentioned that when she sends them off in 
PofA (with Ginny, Harry, & Hermione, too) she *does* remember that 
Ron doesn't like corned beef.  IMO she's just a loving, caring, 
overworked, underpaid mother who loves all her kids equally, (even 
if differently) and she gets the important stuff right.
Are there any other mothers out there wishing to weigh in on this?

Jo Serenadust, who wishes that people would cut Molly a break about 
the freaking sandwiches, already (acronym Tabouli?)