The Pixie Song (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 36191

The Pixie Song (from CoS, Chap. 6)

To the tune of  Monkey by Irving Bungie – but most directly on the 
The Monkey Song from Animaniacs Episode One.

http://www2.cruzio.com/~keeper/00.html

Dedicated to Devin

THE SCENE: The DADA classroom.  LOCKHART is about to display a cage 
of captive Pixies to a class of second-year Gryffindors

LOCKHART
One Monday morning I teach me class
With a cage of pixies, they so full of sass
I quiz my class on colors I like
I warn me class how pixies will strike

LOCKHART: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
GRYFFINDOR STUDENTS: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
LOCKHART: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
STUDENTS & PIXIES: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!

LOCKHART
I whip de cover right off their cage.
The pixies scream, they so full of rage
They voice is shrill and they start to roar
I go to cage and open up door

LOCKHART: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
PIXIES: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
STUDENTS: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
ALL: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!

NEVILLE
I shake so hard that I get sick
But I'm telling you, friends, those pixies was quick!
The pixies picked up by my two ears
Then they hang me from iron chandeliers

NEVILLE: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
PIXIES: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
NEVILLE & LOCKHART: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
ALL: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!

HARRY
The pixies are cuter than Tribbles on `Trek
The pixies leave DADA classroom a wreck
They shred the paper and they break the glass
They rapidly approach a critical mass

HARRY & NEVILLE: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
STUDENTS & PIXIES: Don't know what to say de pixies won't do!
LOCKHART: Peskipiksi Pesternomi won't do!
ALL: They took his wand, out the window they threw!

RON
Then Lockhart, he tell class they're dismissed
Then he look at three of us and he say this: 

LOCKHART
I've business I must attend to backstage
Just nip the blighters right back into their cage

LOCKHART: Don't care to see what de pixies won't do!
TRIO: Path of least resistance is his avenue!
LOCKHART: I know the trio is sure to pull through!
PIXIES: We know there's nothing Lockhart can do!

(Exit LOCKHART rapidly – The Trio, not without considerable effort, 
round up the remaining Pixies)

HARRY & RON: Well, we know he can't teach and pixies can't snare
It takes too much time from fixing his hair

HERMIONE: He wants us that we should work with our hands
I'm proud to be one of his biggest fans.

HARRY & RON: Don't know what to say what Lockhart can't do!
HERMIONE  : He wants us some hands-on work to pursue!
PIXIES: Capturing us he has not the clue.
ALL: Don't know what to say what Lockhart can't do!

   - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm