Voldemort and the Evil Overlord Rules

[lucky_kari]

No: HPFGUIDX 36520

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "marinafrants" <rusalka at i...> wrote:
> Prompted by office-induced boredom, I've decided to look up the Evil
> Overlord Rules and see how Voldy is doing in relation to them.  So 
far
> he's only broken a few, but his actions have been severely limited
> until recently, so who knows what he'll do in the future?
> 
> The full list is at http://quoll.uwaterloo.ca/mine/overlord.html
> 
> Here are the ones I found Voldy breaking; maybe others can spot 
more.
> 
> 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
> 
> 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing 
them. 
> 
> 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 
> 
> 104. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as
> members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear 
military
> boots or adhere to any other dress codes. 
> 
> Mind you, the rules are not completely relieable.  Voldemort
> apparently attempted to follow rule 101 -- I will not order my 
trusted
> lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me. I'll 
do
> it myself. -- and look where it got him.

How about 
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 
(GoF)(CoS)

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to 
their advice. (possibly GoF, if Pettigrew is an advisor)

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in 
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected
developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to 
accordingly. (all four books - Voldie had better watch this one. 
Sooner or later Harry's going to get used to the high-pitched laugh 
that doesn't quite suit the dark lord.)

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my 
troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to 
neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy 
weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of 
savages armed with spears and rocks. (Would this have been useful in 
GoF, when the wands went wonky?)

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies 
into confusion. (no comment)

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to 
wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual
dress code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will 
be reserved for formal occasions. (he'd better follow this one with 
Mrs. Lestrange or watch out!)

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place 
in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on
important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first 
see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less
attention. (this just might be a problem....)

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any 
who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be
used for target practice. (remember the DEs in the graveyard?)

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad 
scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies
them. (Pettigrew -Chapter I - GoF)

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she 
should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of 
marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. (He'd better be ready 
with Snape.)

111. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or 
being executed. (didn't someone say Voldemort's going to try to kidnap 
Trelawney?)

115. I will not engage an enemy single-handedly until all my soldiers 
are dead. (GoF)

130. All members of my Legions of Terror will have professionally 
tailored uniforms. If the hero knocks a soldier unconscious and steals
the uniform, the poor fit will give him away. (this is a problem with 
Voldemort. How do you know who's underneath the robes?)

147. I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, 
trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the third category will 
be awarded posthumously. (I think this is a very important one for 
Voldemort to remember)



Of course, Crouch Jr. breaks
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's 
just one thing I want to know." (GoF), which shows why he never 
survived to become an evil overlord.