Mad-Eye (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 36558

Mad-Eye (from GoF, Chap. 35)

(To the tune of My Guy)

Dedicated to Pippin & Marina

Hear the original at: 
http://www.buffnet.net/~ambrosia/home.htm

THE SCENE: The DADA office. MOODY has dragged HARRY away from the 
crowd to interrogate him alone.  To the shock of both HARRY and the 
reader, MOODY reveals himself as the Death-Eating culprit skulking 
about Hogwarts. 

HARRY (spoken): Karkaroff's gone?  He ran away?  But then - he didn't 
put my name in the goblet?
MOODY (slowly): No. No, he didn't.  It was I who did that.
HARRY: No, you didn't
You didn't do that. . . you can't have done...

MOODY (music)
Wasn't Karkaroff 
At that I must scoff, it's Mad-Eye

HARRY
Not Mad-Eye!
 
MOODY
I have been discreet, 
But it's Death I Eat, says Mad-Eye
 
HARRY
Not Mad-Eye!

MOODY
Lord Voldemort is free from his bonds and his shackles
It's gonna raise my hackles
If craven jackals
Who have sold out the Dark Arts
Have not been torn apart, says Mad-Eye
 
HARRY
You're mad, I

.
 
MOODY

..You can call me mad
That's `cause you've been had by Mad-Eye
 
HARRY
The bad guy!
 
MOODY
It's a solid rule 
Good folks are all fooled by Mad-Eye.
 
HARRY
You cad, why?
 
MOODY
I pledged upon my sacred honor
You were gonna be a goner
I've been interfering 
With their Tri-Wiz steering as a spy.
 
I got Hagrid at the dragons to let you peek
To your minion Dobby I of gillyweed leaked.
And I made sure everything that you said 
Was redirected right straight back to Ced. 

To show the Dark Lord that I'm on board, made Dad die
With his Portkey I delivered Harry, a bulls-eye.
He will make me his favorite son
But even if he doesn't I still had fun
And though I sound bonkers
You're the one I've conquered for the V-guy. 

(As MOODY raises his wand, the door is blasted apart. He is thrown 
backward onto the floor. Enter, with incandescent fury, DUMBLEDORE, 
followed closely by SNAPE & McGONAGALL.)  

HARRY
No one who Death Eats could take the heat from Dumble.

DUMBLEDORE
Let's rumble!

HARRY
He is a sage in one humungous rage to crumble. 

SNAPE & McGONAGALL (regarding MOODY)
He's humbled!

HARRY
He may not be too young in years
But now I see what Lord Voldemort deathly fears

ALL (except MOODY)
And all you Death Eaters
You will wind up dead meat-ers when you stumble!
And all you Death Eaters
You will wind up dead meat-ers when you stumble!

 -  CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm 
(updated 3/12/02 with 24 new filks)