FLIRTIAC ticket, renovating ToadKeeper

[Tabouli]

No: HPFGUIDX 36912

Debbie:
> Assuming that the MWPP Marauder's Map 
works like Mafalda's map (perhaps a large assumption but I'll assume anyway), 
Mrs. Norris' appearance on the Marauder's Map indicates that she is indeed 
human.  And now I ask Captain Tabouli, will this suffice as a ticket to the 
FLIRTIAC dinghy?  Would it help if I promised that my Snapetheory would 
include LOLLIPOPS?  If I brought refreshments?<

Captain Tabouli, who is sitting in her cabin staring speculatively at her new toad, hears a tentative knock at the door.  It opens to reveal a woman who introduces herself as Debbie and asks about tickets for the Daring Dinghy FLIRTIAC.  The Captain puts down the toad and reaches into a drawer, from which she extracts a shiny new FLIRTIAC ticket and a badge.  The badge bears the FLIRTIAC acronym, and a picture of a thin, dust-coloured cat, which changes into a picture of a thin, dust-haired woman if you press it.  Debbie thanks the Captain enthusiastically, who smiles regally and indicates that the refreshments may be given to George, her cabin boy, for distribution to passengers and crew.  Debbie heads for the deck, surreptitiously wiping the toadmoisture from ticket and badge onto her shirt.

Suddenly, the toad starts croaking hysterically and hopping up and down on her intray.  Puzzled, the Captain picks up the toad (which is shaking like a blancmange) and glances at the now somewhat moist reports on which it was hopping.  To her alarm, they are the latest set of reports from her spies, and concern none other than Cindy the Cinister, known agent of the violent FEATHERBOAS fraternity, and rumoured to be a very tough and dangerous customer.  She takes up the report.

Cindy:
> Mr. Avery wants to know about that 
sculpture in the corner.  <squints at small dusty placard>  Oh, yes.  
I've heard of this.  It's called ToadKeeper, and it is the work of 
some obscure local artist.  It's quite unusual, really.  It appears 
to be full of holes, which you don't see very often in the better pieces.<

The Captain's mouth falls open, and she turns to the toad, who is by now shivering behind a box of LOLLIPOPS badges.  She reads on...

>No, Mr. Avery, just leave it there, trust me.  It looks even worse 
when your bring it out into the light.  It's on loan to the museum, 
but the truth is that no one really wants it.  I think I'll speak to 
the curator about donating it to the local scrap yard.<

The museum?  The *scrapyard*?  Could this be the same woman who lovingly nurtured this poor toad through his tadpoledom and then hurled him overboard in a fit of embarrassment at the sight of a canon?

A rush of sudden compassion comes over Captain Tabouli, and she retrieves the by now shrieking toad from under her pillow.  There, there, she says soothingly.  I won't let your theory be discarded so lightly.  How about this: I'll go to the dangerous Cindy myself, and make her an offer for the sculpture.  It's a renovator's dream!  We'll tidy it up together, add some canons and maybe even build a little coracle to float it in.  Then we'll sail it casually past Cindy's pier and her eyes will boggle to think she discarded an unrecognised masterpiece which may one day be worth millions.

OK, so maybe that titchy canon about Great-uncle Algie giving Neville Trevor did put paid to the original ToadKeeper, which IIRC suggested that the souls of Neville's parents were concealed inside Trevor the Toad, and therefore Neville is the ToadKeeper and must carry him around at all times.  However, I wouldn't write off the idea that Trevor may have some as yet unknown importance.  After all:

1. Trevor is central to the characterisation of Neville in PS/SS, apparently as a prop to illustrate Neville's absent-mindedness.  As Neville says, he "keeps on getting away from me".  He gets lost on the Platform (to Gran's despair), he gets lost on the train (and for long enough for Neville to pass through Ron and Harry's compartment twice looking for him), he gets lost after arriving in Hogwarts and turns up in *someone else's boat*.  Finally, and most tellingly, on the night when the Trio descend into the depths to fetch the Philosopher's Stone, Neville is skulking behind an armchair in the Common Room clutching Trevor... who appears to have Just Made Another Break For Freedom!!  Does Trevor know what's afoot, and is he trying to escape and help Voldemort?  Does Neville suspect something?

What's this toad up to, I ask you?  Is he merely an aimlessly straying pet, or is he Up To Something?  He's not trying to escape, as he could have done that a hundred times over before Neville even arrived, and he always turns up eventually.  However, the fact that he conveniently belongs to a boy in Harry's year at Hogwarts and is constantly roaming around seems a little suspicious to me.  Although I, for one, have had enough unregistered Animagi to last me the rest of the series, you do have to wonder whether Trevor could be a spy.

2. OK.  Then we have the canon that landed ToadKeeper on the scrapheap.  Trevor can't be significant because Great-uncle Algie *bought* him.  From a mere pet shop, as a present to Neville to celebrate his qualifying for Hogwarts.

On the face of it, this looks bad for ToadKeeper.  But then, we *do* have a precedent here, remember.  Scabbers.  Where did Scabbers come from?  Sirius guesses that he found an old wizarding family to "take him in", but we don't know for sure.  Some have speculated that "Scabbers" turned up and played with the Weasley children and they successfully pleaded to be allowed to keep him.  All the same, it's not impossible that he was bought, a very cheap pet such as the Weasleys could afford to buy Percy, not a snazzy magical rat.  Perhaps he bided his time in the pet shop and then leapt endearingly into Percy's arms when he recognised an old wizarding family, and Percy begged and begged and succeeded, as he was so cheap and uninspiring no-one else would buy him, and he was thus dirt cheap.

Now, consider Trevor.  Trevor does not appear to have any magical powers either, and is also an undesirable pet.  Toads, as Ron and Hagrid remind us deprecatingly, are embarrassingly unfashionable presents, so much so that a self-conscious child might deliberately lose a toad rather than risk being teased.  Knowing this, Evilspy!Trevor wouldn't have risked leaping lovingly into the arms of a child who might spurn him.  No, no, he waited until the year when Harry Potter was starting school, inviegled himself into a pet shop and skulked unattractively in a corner fish tank looking as unappealing and unfashionable as he could.  Enter Great-uncle Algie, burbling happily about his great-nephew Neville, got into Hogwarts, you know, hoping to buy him a pet as a congratulatory present.  Ahaaa! thinks Trevor.  Toads were *fashionable* in this old fool's day, and odds on his nephew will be in the very same year as Harry Potter... perfect!  He drops the sullen act and starts croaking enticingly in his tank, and hopping playfully to and fro, fluttering his warty eyelids.  Great-uncle Algie is charmed.  When *he* was a lad, *he* had a toad, and it was his best friend in the world.  This one seems a friendly chap, and such a bargain!  Don't know how folks manage these days, the price of things being what they are.  I'll take him!

Mission accomplished.

3. The pets of significant characters have a habit of turning out to be important.  Hagrid's pets have almost all ended up playing a central role in the plot.  Scabbers turned out to be Pettigrew.  Crookshanks collaborated with Sirius, and is, according to JKR, half-Kneazle, a fact which will doubtless be important in later books.  Pigwidgeon mysteriously turned up just at the right moment to help Harry and Sirius communicate.  Mrs Norris helps Filch spy on students and is, even if you don't float with FLIRTIAC, an intriguing animal who seems to have some important mystery about her (JKR herself has commented that the cats in the story have an important role to play).  Dumbledore's pet phoenix contributed the feathers which form the very cores of Harry's and Voldemort's *wands*!

OK, so not conclusive evidence, but interesting, isn't it?  Especially when you consider how much air time JKR has devoted to Trevor the runaway Toad.  Doesn't this hint that he might also be important in some way?

4. In the Celluloid-Thing-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, Steve Kloves inexplicably cut out half of Neville's scenes and gave a lot of his bumbling bits to Seamus instead.  This effectively distracted from Neville's image as blundering, clueless boy for whom everything goes wrong.  However, note note note, ladies and gentlemen, he did *not* cut the toad.  Even though Neville was whittled down ruthlessly, Trevor the Toad made a definite cameo, like Norbert the Dragon.  Might this not be because JKR decreed that Trevor was significant later and Could Not Be Cut??

5. Neville, as we know, is a very private boy, who has stayed silent about what must be the tragedy of his life: his parents' insanity.  He is humble and straightforward.  If he suspected his toad of Suspicious Motivations, he might well just keep a discreetly careful eye on him without telling anyone.  Note that at the start of the series, when he's just *got* his toad, Trevor is getting away all the time.  By the end of PS/SS, however, note that he has wised up to Trevor, and apparently grabbed him just as he was making a break for it through the portrait hole to help Voldemort get the Stone.

>From then on, we Never Hear About Him Losing His Toad Again!  Neville's no fool.  Fond as he is of Trevor, he can't help having a nagging suspicion that Trevor might have a dark side lurking under that warty skin.  Unbeknownst to the other Gryffindor boys, he has regularly found Trevor following the Trio around, going through Harry's luggage, and lurking in the staffroom listening in on teachers' conversations.  From then on, he has confined Trevor strictly to his pocket, which is why Snape is able to threaten him through Trevor in the PoA Potions lesson.

6.  Which brings up to the most intriguing thing of all... why does Snape commit the supremely nasty deed of threatening to kill Neville's pet?  Could it be because *Snape* too is suspicious?  We know Snape is keeping a discreet protective eye on Harry, much as it sticks in his throat.  Has he noticed that Trevor is Trouble?  Is one of the reasons Neville fears him so much because Snape has regularly caught Trevor spying on Harry behind the scenes, and blasted him about it, demanding that he send the evil creature home???

Well, well, well.

T.O.A.D.K.E.E.P.E.R. (The Odious Amphibian: Death-eater Knavishly Executing Espionage, Pursuing Evil Revenge) anyone?

Tabouli.


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