FILK: If You Are the Christ (was: Voldemort as Christ figure)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 37103

The current thread on Voldemort as a Christ figure prompted the 
following: 

If You Are the Christ

(to the tune of King Herod's Song from Jesus Christ Superstar)

Voldy, your significance I thought was very plain
You're the Prince of Darkness, deep in Circle Nine you reign
Evil Satan, or maybe King Herod
Now some call you a satire upon the Son of God

So, if you are the Christ,
You're the symbol for Christ
Prove to me that you kick ass
Plead the Fifth `fore Caiaphas
Do a death on the Cross
Then return as the Boss
C'mon, great You-Know-Who!

Resurrections for a Lord are not all that unique
How many of them tell us we should turn the other cheek?
Oh, yes you came back with flesh and blood and bone
But will you tell your followers to hold back that first stone?

So, if you are the Christ,
You're the symbol for Christ
Prove to me that you're the Man
Do forty days in sun and sand
Wash a Death Eaters' feet
Then we'll know they can't beat 
JC as You-Know-Who 

We've not seen Lord Voldemort act as an exorcist,
Casting demons into swine with an Animagic twist
Oh, will he forgive those who trespass against him?
Or is an Unforgiven shtik more Voldy's kind of thing?

So, if you are the Christ,
You're the symbol for Christ
Demonstrate your full net worth:
Document your virgin birth
Mind-meld with Fawkes bird
If it's true you're the Word
C'mon up You-Know-Who!

(Enter, in a sulpherous cloud, LORD VOLDEMORT, highly indignant)

VOLDEMORT
I don't want to be Christ 
To get thorn-crowned and diced
Please take this into account
I don't do Sermons on the Mount
They're pulling yourleg
That I'm Pullman-OK'd 
I'm not King of the

Don't say *marathana*!
I'm the son of a witch!

(VOLDEMORT abruptly Apparates from the scene)

     -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm