FILK: Tangled up in Floo

[marinafrants]

No: HPFGUIDX 38391

Tangled up in Floo
An HP filk by Mariner
To the tune of "Tangled up in Blue" by Bob Dylan

Scene: after his accidental trip to Knockturn Alley in CoS, Harry 
explains what happened

HARRY;
Early one morning at the Burrow,
I was hangin' with Ron.
We decided to go to Diagon Alley,
Get some shopping done.
All the Weasleys came along,
The whole red-headed crew,
They gave me some magical powder stuff
And explained what I should do.
I stood in front of the fireplace
Tryin' not to burn my shoes.
I threw the powder into the flames,
Breathed in the ashes that flew, said "Achoo!"
Tangled up in Floo.

I found myself in a strange dark place
I didn't recognize.
I was was trapped in a dusty space,
Smoke was stinging my eyes.
There were human bones and ugly masks,
Toe of frog and eye of newt,
Pickled slimy things in jars
Didn't look remotely cute.
I clenched my hands and I closed my eyes,
I admit I was scared stiff.
I knew I wasn't in Diagon,
It was an entirely different avenue,
Tangled up in Floo.

The door swung open with a creak,
And I was feeling no joy
When a pair of customers came in,
And each was a Malfoy.
In my mind there wasn't any doubt
That they were up to no good.
I knew I needed to get away,
But I didn't see how I could.
Thank god they didn't spot me there,
I would not have stood a chance.
I really wished I were somewhere else,
Like maybe in Paris, France, or in Peru,
Tangled up in Floo.

Lucius had some things to sell,
And none of them looked nice.
He put on a lot of snooty airs
As he haggled over price.
Draco prowled around the shop,
Looking for something to buy.
When his father ragged him about his grades,
He looked like he might cry.
I remember thinking to myself,
"Dude, grow yourself a spine!"
He acted like a total git,
Man, you should've heard him whine, made want to spew.
Tangled up in Floo.

After a while, the Malfoys moved on,
The coast was finally clear.
I snuck out into the street,
Intending to disappear.
I didn't like the looks of the place,
All the shops sold nasty stuff.
I might not have known what it was,
But I knew I'd seen enough.
Then a witch confronted me in the street,
Selling fingernails off a tray.
I was starting to feel just a bit uneasy,
When Hagrid saved the day, yeah, he came through.
Tangled up in Floo.

So that's my trip to Knockturn Alley,
Sure was a narrow escape.
No way I'm going back again,
I'd just as soon kiss Snape.
Fred and George thought it was cool,
But as I said to Ron,
"Leave the Dark Arts to the Malfoys,
I'm sticking to Diagon."
I'm leaving Knockturn far behind,
With it's monsters and its spooks.
Gonna head on down to Flourish & Blotts
To purchase Lockhart's books, that's what I'll do.
Tangled up in Floo.

Marina
rusalka at ix.netcom.com