What if she got run over by a truck?

[Aberforth's Goat]

No: HPFGUIDX 38481

You know, that article I read this morning - the one you can talk
about to your heart's content over on OT Chat - really got me
thinking.

*What if JKR got run over by a truck?*

In fact, what if her house burned down while she was getting run
over by said truck, and every last HP-related document were lost
forever and ever and ever?

[Of course, this scenario isn't just undesirable (after all, Jo
Rowling is one terrific homo sapiens), it's literally impossible,
since where she lives they don't have trucks. (They do have
things called "lorries," but I've only a vague concept about what
those people do with the word "truck"; and you obviously can't be
run over by a concept, let alone a vague one.) That
notwithstanding, let's just suppose the impossible (and
personally undesirable) should happen.]

The more I ponder, the more I think it might be a good idea.

To begin with - and we're starting with the obvious stuff! - if
she goes and finishes the thing, she's bound to disappoint us.
There's no way she's going to finish this without selling a few
shippers down the river. Or if it turns out that Gryffindors
really can go bad and Slytherins can repent, she'll have ruined
the whole point of the sorting hat. But if it turns out that that
they can't, she'll have ruined the whole point of being a human
being. So why not leave the problem in the land where had cakes
can be eternally eaten?

And that's just the start. By finishing the series, Jo will rob
us readers of the right - in fact, the narrative obligation - to
choose our own adventure. There would be no more guessing, second
guessing and thirty-eight-thousand-four-hundred-seventy-ninth
guessing what she was going to do with the story. What would
*you* rather read in the year 3003: a stunning, psychoanalytic
literary theory conclusively proving that Hermione and Hedwig
were destined for love - or yet another attempt at warming up
some narrative leftovers?

Further: by finishing the series, Jo will loose much of her power
over our imaginations. I mean, it's all fine and well for her to
satisfy our narrative lust - but once she has done so, we'll all
chase off for our next fix and our excitement will gradually
dwindle away into patronizing, if not contemptuous, familiarity.
But suppose she never brought us to that climax we're all waiting
for - suppose we readers should spend the rest of history in the
throes of lectio interrupta? Irritating, yes - but it would place
her in a position of permanent - and unforgettable - dominance.

In essence, by letting Jo finish the series, we fans trading an
undying myth for a good story. Wouldn't that be a shame? If
you're as convinced as I am, feel free to sign the petition over
at www.imaliterarymasochist.com.

Baaaaaa!

Aberforth's Goat (a.k.a. Mike Gray, who didn't get to preach this
morning and couldn't spend a whole week without saying
*something* outrageous.)
_______________________

"Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that
may not have been bravery...."