TBAY: Stoned!Harry and The Prank

[dicentra63]

No: HPFGUIDX 38649

Dicentra stands near the rail of the destroyer Big Bang, feeling the
breeze in her hair and enjoying the sound of water lapping against the
hull.  She looks down into the water to see if she can spot any <*((><
but instead she sees the glimmer of metal.  She manuvers the
destroyer's winch over that spot, lowers the hook, and cranks the
winch.  Up out of the water comes another can(n)on.

Catlady:
The yew tree is a symbol of death. Because: 1) Its berries are
poisonous. 2) The English longbow was so great because it was made of
yew wood, which is a natural composite. 3) It is traditionally planted
in churchyards on purpose to consume the buried corpses as tree
fertilizer.

Dicentra ponders this and realizes: The yew tree is a Death Eater. She
shivvers.  It ain't from the cool breeze off the bay.  She rolls the
can(n)on to an empty spot on deck, carefully positioning it so it
balances the others.  Then she returns to the rail and looks toward
the shore.  She sees Laura, talking and gesticulating wildly, and sees
a confused-looking boy handing her a snitch.  

What marvelous acoustics!  Here she is, several hundred yards from
shore, and yet Dicentra can hear Laura's conversation with poor
Stoned!Harry as if they were right next to her.  But Dicentra needs to
speak with Laura about something Stoned!Harry probably shouldn't hear
(again), so she gestures to Laura to toss the snitch across the bay
again.  Laura does, Stoned!Harry obliges by stumbling off after it,
and Dicentra cups her hands around her mouth.

"Laura," she calls. "Remember when you said...

"Dumbledore only created Harry for the *potential* of immortality. The
same potential Tom Riddle was born with."

Laura nods.

"Why do you think Dumbledore created Tom in the first place, if that's
what he did?  Do you think it had anything to do with defeating
Grindelwald in 1945?" 

Laura shrugs.  Dicentra figures there's some kind of chronology thing
to be worked out, but she's too lazy to do it.

"And another thing," Dicentra continues, "you said...

"Remember, when Dumbledore created Tom, he was still very young and
foolish and in love with his own power. He figured that by creating
Tom he had done his fair share of preventing the "Dark Lord" from
taking over, and he didn't have time to mess with some kid. Maybe the
prophecy also specified that the Light Lord would be raised by
Muggles?  Anyway, it was creating Tom (and therefore, the Dark Lord in
the prophecy) that was the BANG! that made Dumbledore go wise and
good. Realizing that you may have doomed the world makes you
responsible in a hurry."

Laura listens expectantly.

"It looks like you're suggesting that Harry is Dumbledore's second
chance at redemption, or something," says Dicentra.  "Maybe that's why
he's so keen on giving other people second chances."

As Laura ponders this, Dicentra remembers something that makes her
blood boil.  She jumps into the kayak and paddles off toward
LOLLIPOPS, where she last saw GEORGE'S SISTER DIANA. (Diana has also
been known to hang out on Big Bang, because, as you'll recall, she
allows for Big Bangs to have occured in Snape's conversion, but they
don't necessarily need to be there. That's also why she visits
LOLLIPOPS from time to time.  That and LOLLIPOPS's renowned hors
d'ouvres.)

Diana is disembarking LOLLIPOPS, champagne glass in hand, and getting
into a dinghy, presumably to visit another favorite SHIP.  Dicentra
plows the bow of the kayak into the side of the dinghy to get Diana's
attention.  She has it.

"How dare you!" Dicentra screams, standing in the teetering kayak.
"How dare you!  Some of your adherents say that Snape became
disillusioned with the concept of right and wrong partly because of
how Dumbledore handled The Prank!"

Diana is taken aback. Some of the champagne sloshes out of the glass
and onto her hand.  She doesn't even notice.

"We're pretty sure that Sirius didn't get expelled, because he's
allowed to practice magic like anyone else, which means he finished
school.  That means that Dumbledore gave him a Second Chance.  And if
anyone should understand Second Chances, it's your beloved Snapey-poo!
 How dare he continue to condemn Sirius when both of them are
'Redeemed Sinners!' I mean, where does he get off....!"

Dicentra's rant is cut short when Stoned!Harry, curious about the
shouting, ambles over, points his wand at Dicentra, and mutters
"Petrificus Totalus."  Dicentra's entire body immediately goes rigid
and she tips over, right into the drink.  Stoned!Harry reached down
and grabs her hair before she sinks, holding her face above water, and
tows her back toward the Big Bang.

Diana, still nonplussed, mumbles something about "...right out of
nowhere..." and settles into the dinghy, wiping champagne from her hand.

--Dicentra, dripping all over the destroyers deck and still a little
stiff even after Stoned!Harry utters the countercharm

For an explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, visit
Hypothetic Alley at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin%20Files/hypotheticalley.htm
and Inish Alley at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?method=reportRows&tbl=13