TBAY: Stoned!Harry

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 38652

Bang!


Uproar in Theory Bay! The shippers are revolting! < err, didn't mean 
that quite as it came out guys. . .> Fish are zipping through the 
waves below at top speed while wild ca(n)nons pelt after them, fired 
into the water by the fearsome, bloodthirsty crew above, intent on 
hitting every single biblical symbol that comes their way. In the 
distance a skinny, bespectacled figure looking somewhat dizzy (rather 
Stoned! In fact) is skidding along the surface apparently being towed 
towards land by the seriously overloaded kayak.


Dread settles in Charis's stomach. "But—but that's Harry! Hey! Hey, 
wait! What are you doing with him? Stop! Where are you go. . ." but 
the words die in her mouth for it is right then that she spots them: 
a spiffy new guillotine decorating the shore with a sturdy--looking 
crucifix right behind.


"But. . . but . . . Why? I thought we all loved Harry? I thought he 
was our leader? I thought he was the very reason we are all here in 
the Bay in the first place!"


But nothing can deter the fiendy mob, which, now foaming at the mouth 
with excitement, merely let out a hellish howl and row more fiercely. 
Only one sailor stops her raving long enough to explain:


Cindy :
>He has to Meet His 
>Maker *right then.*
>
>Ah, come on. Wouldn't it be better (with "better" being defined as 
>infinitely more Big) to have Harry make the Ultimate Sacrifice and 
>take Voldemort out with him?


Oh, I see. You're getting hungry. Book Five is late coming out, so 
your supply of Ca(n)non has dried up. . . Of course you couldn't 
resist such a proposal. It's you idea of a feast, isn't it?


<sigh>


Hmmm. But look here. Is Harry dying really all that Big Bang? Let's 
think about it. . . Hmmm. Erm. Weeell, I'd have to say that I 
personally I think. . . that is really . . . errr, I mean, to confess 
the truth an' all. . . Errr. . . No.


Charis squirms. Oh, don't stare like that! I'm not saying death isn't 
* sad* or anything. I'd be devastated if Harry were to die, I really 
would. Promise. I'm not * insensitive* or anything and it's not like 
I wouldn't cry, I would, I would, I'd cry my eyes out. But I wouldn't 
be impressed. And, no, I wouldn't feel a Bang.


Humph. Oh, stop it. Look, I said cut it out, ok? * I* don't have any 
feelings? You're the ones who want to lynch the boy! Right. <huffily> 
When you've all put your eyes back in, maybe you'll be able to see 
what I' m getting at.


The way I see it, dying is not Big Bang. Or at least not Big Bang 
enough for Harry Potter. I mean, how does that make him special, huh? 
How does it make him even * different*? * Anyone* can die. It's easy. 
All you have to do is have a heart attack, or fall out of a 
helicopter, or get too close to Kryptonite or something. You don't 
even have to be a * wizard*. Any old Muggle can manage just fine.


And plus, it's so * used*. In books everyone is always dying left, 
right and centre. Plop, plop, plop. Yawn, yawn, yawn. It's getting a 
good hero who'll actually * survive* that's hard. Every author who 
wants to provide his readers with cheap thrills kills off the lead. 
It's just so * cliché*.


What do I think would cause a good ker—Boom? Hmmm, well, what you've 
got to do really is give Harry a reason to * want* to retain his 
immortality. Verily put him in temptation, place him on the horns of 
dilemma, haul him to the throngs of larruping, corrupting, 
inexpungible * desire*. Make Harry want to do Wrong. After all he's a 
mighty wizard isn't he? Powerfully magical. Like Dumbledore he must 
be capable of both great Evil as well as great Good. Let's see that. 
Let Harry the Seriously Evil Wizard emerge. And let the reader * 
sympathise* with him.


Ha. Bang!


How? Well, I don't know, use your imagination. Obviously he couldn't 
want eternal life just for himself. That's no great boggy 
predicament. Of course Harry would chose saving the world over 
himself any day without turning a hair. So he's got to want the stone 
for someone else.


Err. . .So what if somebody else Harry cares for is dying and the 
only way they could possibly be saved is by using Harry's Inner 
Stone? And so Harry's got to choose between somebody else's death and 
Voldemort's eternal rule? And Harry goes for the first? And than the 
WW is of course eventually saved nevertheless, but only after a 
series of erratic narrative devises during which the audience "Oooh" 
and "Aaaah" incessantly.


Or. . . Or. . .
Or you could twist the story a la Frodo and make Harry feel the lure 
of world domination. Intoxicate him. Corrupt him. Make him realise he 
could reign over the world alone, invincible cosmic powers at his 
wand--tip. Naturally he wouldn't in the end, you realise, and somehow 
it would all turn out for the best, but at least the reader would 
have enjoyed a minor heart seizure in the meanwhile.


Anyway, plain old run—off—the—mill death just won't cut it for me. 
Cedric's already done it, Harry's parents have already done it, 
countless other good witches and wizards did it and countless more 
will do it in the new books again. Even the special giving –up—
immortality version has been pulled by Flamel in the very first book. 
I want something extraordinary for Harry. Something exceptional. 
Something really, * really* Bangy.


And also, well, I really want him to * live* too. I like Harry.


Abigail wrote:

>Yes, I know, how LOTR 
>can you get, but there's something very satisfying in the hero who 
saves the 
>world but not for himself, and Tolkein managed to do it without 
killing Frodo
>off.


Yes! And I really * really* appreciated that! It's so easy to off 
your heroes in favour of Big Bangs, but to sustain the central 
protagonist ( no wrong-- * all* the central protagonist's besides 
one) * and* give such a bedazzling show of fireworks, well, that, * 
that* is difficult. That's the challenge.

Besides, JKR has all but said Harry's going to die. Does that prove 
that he will? Ha, no way! It proves the exact opposite. The very fact 
that we are all so worked up about whether or not Harry will die is 
actually proof that he will stay alive—though at what cost I know 
not. After all the possibility that he will depart for the happy 
casting grounds in Book 7 must have occurred to every single person 
who ever got enthralled by a HP book in the last six years. The 
surprise element –essential for Big Bangs—is DOA.


Ca(n)nons? You want ca(n)nons? I've got ca(n)nons! In fact Dicentra 
helpfully pointed points out the first one: 


>"And the scene later when Ron's tin parrot takes the head off Harry's
>rubber haddock."
>

Hmm, but look at what comes next will you! Harry is called over be 
McGonagall. He fears the worst. Bad consequences will arise from his 
haddock's gritty demise. These hasty conclusions are however quickly 
rebutted and Harry soon has other fish to fry. He is now on a quest 
to seek his True Love. See? Love conquers Death.


Cindy:


>Need more evidence that someone is going to lose their head?  What 
>happens in PoA, I ask?  How is Buckbeak to be executed?  Of all the 
>ways JKR could have chosen to kill Buckbeak, she chose *beheading*.  


Ah, but Buckbeak didn't die, did he? At least not forever. Hmmm. . . 
maybe all this is tying up with Eloise's idea of Harry's spiritual 
immortality. Although frankly, Cindy, I fail to see how that 
compromises FEATHERBOAS with keeping Harry alive. Surely we won't 
continue following Harry's adventures as a disembodied spirit? No. I 
want Harry * really* alive.


>Still not convinced?  What is the thing Professor Trelawney wants 
>Harry to see in the crystal ball during his divination exam?  Yup, 
>that's right.  A beheading!  A beheading from which Harry *saves* 
>Buckbeak!


Couldn't have put it better myself. Harry thinks Buckbeaks death is 
inevitable, yet Harry, with steadfast loyalty towards his friend 
Hagrid and insisting doggedly on what he believes in, finally 
conquers over Buckbeak's death. Harry escapes death. He flies away 
from it. Something that I might point out that Harry is in the habit 
of doing quite frequently. (during the First Task, after Voldemort's 
attack on Sirius's motorbike, practically every time he mounts a 
broom, with the Flying Ford Anglia and when he and Voldemort are * 
raised* into the air after their wands connect.)


>And, pray tell, what was the very first thing Harry saw in the 
>teacup in his very first Divination Class? *A Cross*!


Yeah, but the cross was * wonky*. Clearly an indication that, though 
Harry will indeed come dangerously close to death, the implements 
devised for his destruction will ultimately fail his enemies. But I 
must admit to getting a bit confused. Isn't the cross a reference to 
Ron's fate? And anyway, we're all overlooking what's comes next:


"—but there's a thing that could be the sun. Hang on. . . that 
means "great happiness" . . . so you're going to suffer but be very 
happy. . ."


Sounds about right to me.


Eloise:


>Is the Gryffindor ghost being (nearly) decapitated (and 
>on the same date as James and Lily's deaths) significant? (There's 
>potentially a lot of mileage in these ghosts. What *is* Nick's 
backstory? 
>Myrtle's has been of great significance.)


The Gryffindor ghost? You mean Sir Nickolas de Mimsy—Porpington? You 
mean Nick? * Nearly*-- Headless Nick? Need I say more.


Charis Julia, who loves Caroline's "Stoned Harry" theory and is 
totally sold on it, but finds the Dead!Harry part rather fishy.

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