Hermione and Ron (SHIP)

[Penny Linsenmayer]

No: HPFGUIDX 38684

Hi --

I argued, in part, against a R/H ship:

> Hermione, OTOH, isn't *currently* going to be too willing to 
>sublimate her
> own ambitions & successes to pacify an insecure boyfriend. 

Pippin responded:

The trouble with this is that it makes an much better argument 
against H/H. Are you really saying that Ron has more emotional 
problems than Harry? Harry, who can't remember what it's like to 
be hugged, who has recurring nightmares, whose worst fears 
are powerful enough to incapacitate him?>>>>

No.  I think we're talking about two separate issues (at least) here.  You're right Pippin that Harry is emotionally fragile and may not have the capacity to engage in a romantic relationship at all (for a long time or even ever) -- with Hermione or Ginny or Cho or anyone.  He has no memories of intimacy and no good models for successful intimate relationships.  He's not helped in this respect at Hogwarts other than through his observations of Arthur & Molly Weasley.  None of the other professors are married (as far as we the readers know), and his father's two best friends are also apparently without a significant romantic relationship at this time.  

But, his emotional fragility is an entirely separate issue from his insecurities.  Harry is insecure, but in a radically different way than Ron IMO.  Harry's insecurity amounts to lack of confidence; he's never had positive feedback in his life before Hogwarts.  So, he has low self-confidence.  He also shuns the spotlight & his fame.  But, his insecurities wouldn't be reinforced with every success that his girlfriend achieved; quite the opposite it would seem.  It almost appears that Harry would be happiest as the quieter "background" figure in any romantic relationship.  Any of her successes would simply remove some of the attention off of him, which he would welcome IMO.  I can't imagine that Harry would have any strong desire to be the shining star or the dominant player in a relationship.  So, hypothetically, in any H/H romance pairing, if Hermione outshines Harry with her accomplishments, I don't think he's going to feel angry or suffer any self-esteem issues associated with her successes.  As I said -- it sure appears that right now Harry would be happiest in the role where he receives the least unwanted attention. 

Pippin:

<<<<<<<I'm not saying that Hermione doesn't have the  resources to cope 
with Harry's emotional void, but is she willing to "sublimate her 
own ambitions and successes" to do it? Would Harry even want 
her to?>>>>>>

Again, she wouldn't need to.  There's nothing about Harry's emotional fragility that suggests he couldn't handle having a girlfriend who was every bit as successful & famous as he is.  In fact, as I said above, I think he'd *prefer* that.  I don't think he's going to want a girlfriend who's just on his arm because he's the "Boy who Lived."  That's completely not Harry.  
 
Ron, OTOH, doesn't have *emotional* problems per se.  That's not what I meant.  Ron wants to be the shining star, he wants to stand out, he wants to succeed -- he has a driving ambition (his heart's deepest desire in fact) to be the "best of them all."  So, he's insecure about his accomplishments & his abilities ... his insecurity in this regard is only fueled by having the most famous wizard on earth as his best friend and having the star student at Hogwarts as his other best friend.  I would conjecture that what Ron could really use as far as his temporary self-esteem goes, is a girlfriend who doesn't outshine him at every turn.  My comment was referring to Hermione not being willing to sublimate her successes & take a back seat so that Ron could shine.  I think Ron will want to be the star of the pairing, and if his girlfriend is showing him up at every turn (getting a better job, making more money, receiving press attention for her latest social cause, etc.), I don't think he's going to be terribly happy.  Ron may make great strides in overcoming this problem, and it might end up not being an issue in any R/H romance at all.  But, based on where he's at right now as far as insecurity & self-esteem, I'd have to say that this would be an issue if the two of them were "going out"  (<g> at David).

Penny


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