TBAY: Satanic Verses and no-charm Neville

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 39026

Cindy sits at her lonely booth, having stenciled "Jobberknolls 
Rock!" onto the awning in a desperate effort to drum up support.  
Her hunger grows as the afternoon wears on, leaving her a bit light-
headed.  When the Symposium ended, Elkins had hastily gathered the 
leftover snacks and stuffed them into her sand-filled rucksack.  The 
Kool-Aid had long ago evaporated, leaving a powdery substance at the 
bottom of each pitcher.  

The janitors are cleaning the tremendous mess strewn wall-to-wall in 
the Meeting Room, their vacuum cleaners humming.  When they leave, 
Cindy peers inside to listen in on a conversation between a 
distinguished-looking Brit and a schoolgirl wearing heels that are 
just a bit too high.

***************

David (squabbling with Faith about her insistence that Neville has 
No Memory Charm At All) wrote:

> "So, do you disagree with this theory, then, Faith?" he asks.
> 
> "Weeeell, no... not as such... I do think there isn't a memory 
>charm on Neville.  I don't exactly agree that the trauma of the 
>past is distracting him, though.  Put yourself in Neville's 
>position.  He knows he can sometimes do powerful magic.  He knows 
>that his dad was an auror and he probably reckons - may even have 
>been told - that his dad could do powerful magic.  He knows where 
>it got his dad.  Worse, he knows that his mum, magically speaking 
>not necessarily unusual, also suffered the same fate.  He sees it 
>every holiday.  He has got through his childhood avoiding all magic 
>as much as possible.  He knows in his heart of hearts that he's not 
>a Squib but he's darned if he's going to let his family know.  Now 
>he's been sent to Hogwarts, where he will - guess what - learn to 
>do magic.  Powerful OWL and NEWT gaining magic.  Defence Against 
>the Dark Arts.  He is to drink of the potion that has wrecked his 
>and his family's life.  So what does he do?  In effect, he sulks.  
>He 'forgets' things.  he keeps a low profile.  He is a nice lad so 
>he is always obliging and friendly.  He sticks up for his 
>principles when he must.  But - magical power?  That's scary.  Give 
>it to the vultures.
 

You know, this No Memory Charm At All theory has some superficial 
appeal.  For one thing, it is neat and clean.  There are no messy 
loose ends here.  Neville is just Neville.  He has weaknesses just 
like other characters have weaknesses.  In Neville's case, he is 
motivated by Fear of Power and Fear of Magic.  You don't even have 
to get into whether Neville witnessed his parents' torture.

There's a certain logic there.  And a certain appeal.  There really 
is.

No, where Faith gets into trouble (and yes, strays from canon) is 
that Faith would have us believe that things happen in HP for no 
real reason pertinent to important plot developments.  Neville has a 
Toad for no real reason.  He is forgetful for no real reason.  He is 
competent in only one subject for no real reason.  He is shaken 
after meeting with Crouch Jr. for no real reason.  Snape is his 
greatest fear for no real reason.

That just doesn't work for me.  I mean, when JKR includes lots of 
meaningless details, they aren't for the most part meaningless.  No, 
almost *everything* in HP is there for a reason.  She's always 
including details in one book to set something up in another book, 
as we all know.  

David, pressing his advantage, asked Faith:

>Isn't it a bit naive to ignore all that evidence?"

> In a controlled, low voice she replies:  "Look at me.  I'm Faith.  
>I'm *supposed* to be naive.  It took *years* of hard work to become 
>this naive.  I stand for straightforward common-sense 
>interpretation of the text as it stands.  

Oh, I hate to be so hard on young Faith.  She has so much to 
*learn*.  I mean, I'm sure she'll grow up to make someone a 
wonderful Trophy Wife someday.  But Faith's approach would have us 
miss so much of the foreshadowing about HP.  

Look at her track record, for one thing.  Faith figured that 
Scabbers was just a rat.  She figured Sirius gave Hagrid a 
motorcycle just to be a nice guy.  Faith figured that Harry and Ron 
used Polyjuice because that really was the best way to eavesdrop on 
Malfoy.  Oh, Faith is going to miss out on so *much* if she keeps 
this up.

David, listening quietly as Faith rants about how she gets on fine 
without any Banging at all:

>Who *wants* Bang anyway?  Sure, it's a great thrill at the 
>beginning, the first time you try out your new canon.  But for a 
>life partnership?  To use over and over again?  The second time 
>round, Bang is just, well, Boring.  

Oh, that Faith.  She really has perfected that "Naive" thing she 
likes to do.  

Someone needs to explain to Faith that once JKR has Banged in a 
certain way, she is never allowed to Bang in that fashion ever 
again.  JKR cannot have another Animagus-Based or Polyjuice-Based 
Bang.  It would never, ever work.  As Faith correctly says, 
repetitive Banging is really boring.  No, JKR must Bang completely 
differently in OoP.  That may well be the hold-up in getting the 
book finished.

<heavy sigh>

David, you brought Faith in here.  *You* explain it to her.

*****************

Cindy wanders back out into the hall and counts her MATCHINGARMCHAIR 
brochures.  Sadly, all 4,110 of them are still there.

Cindy considers.  David probably cannot be easily shoved into a 
MATCHINGARMCHAIR, although it might be fun to try.  No, what David 
really needs is a *boat* of his very own.  Something large enough 
for his Memory Charm theory and his Harry/Myrtle SHIP.

Cindy scans the Bay.  She considers and rejects the idea of giving 
David the Hovercraft.  Elkins, the Veteran Fourth Man Captain, lost 
control of that Hovercraft in no time at all.  It is hardly suitable 
for a newcomer, and besides, it is starting to smell.

But there is the unoccupied 8-man inflatable raft.  Yes, that might 
be perfect!

Cindy strides over the inflatable raft, which has begun to go flat 
from lack of use.  Increasing her own feeling of lightheadedness, 
Cindy blows vigorously into it.  She checks the ice chest, which is 
still loaded with ice-cold mimosas.  She beckons David to his new 
raft and hands him his very first Paddle, courtesy of Dicey:

@------((()


***********

Cindy 

*************

Glossary:

Banging -- Identifying or developing explosive plot elements.  So 
just get your minds out of the gutter.

****************

For an explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, visit
Hypothetic Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin%
20Files/hypotheticalley.htm 
and Inish Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13