TBAY: MATCHINGARMCHAIR and FOURTH MAN

[elfundeb at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 39076

On the set of MATCHINGARMCHAIR, Debbie walks slowly back to her small 
dressing-room trailer after rehearsing her scene, reviewing the script with a 
frown on her face.  Cindy must have written this part; it gives her the last 
word.  Not too late for a revision, Debbie thinks as she sips from her water 
bottle and picks up her red pencil.

Cindy:
> 
> But you've given me a bit of a brain wave.  Only a little one, 
> really.  But all this Memory Charm business aside, why isn't Neville 
> simply operating under the Imperius Curse?  

Debbie pencils in dramatic quote from GoF on Imperius:

"It was the most wonderful feeling.  Harry felt a floating sensation as every 
thought and worry in his head was wiped gently away, leaving nothing but a 
vague, untraceable happiness.  He stood there feeling immensely relaxed, only 
dimly aware of everyone watching him."

"And Harry felt, for the third time in his life, the sensation that his mind 
had been wiped of all thought."

> Don't laugh, I mean it.  

<Debbie maintains poker face, just like the script says>

> I mean, maybe he was placed under the curse as a small child, perhaps by 
> Mrs. Lestrange. . . .  And Neville had 
> no way to throw it off, of course, lacking magical training and all.
> 
> Or maybe his parents did it.  Hmmm.  Did Frank place his son under 
> Imperius to protect some really important secret as the Lestranges 
> stormed the place?  

Um, I thought that was what Memory Charms were for.

> I mean, Imperius makes you happy and compliant, and Memory Charms seem to 
> give people the outward appearance of 
> being happy and compliant if a bit forgetful.  

Debbie, thinking that "happy" is not the word she would use to describe 
Neville, inserts another quote from GoF, and some dialogue for herself:

"'I definitely haven't [learned enough to enter the TWT],"  came Neville's 
gloomy voice from behind Fred and George.  'I expect my gran'd want me to 
try, though.  She's always going on about how I should be upholding the 
family honor.'"

Does this sound like someone operating under the Imperius Curse?  Has "all 
worry" been wiped from his head?  Besides, why would someone use Imperius to 
turn Neville into a forgetful, "I'm nearly a Squib" kind of kid?  <flips 
through her Symposium lecture notes again>  Only Evil!Gran or Evil!Uncle 
Algie would, right?  Ahh, but wouldn't a Memory Charm be quite as effective 
for that purpose?  

<Debbie adds stage direction for Cindy to nod meekly at this point, but 
thinks she will nevertheless send the script back to Cindy when she's 
finished to insert a little scene with Trevor>

Debbie moves on to Cindy's next bit of dialogue:

> > > I see no reason to think that Frank knew where Voldemort was -- 
> particularly 
> > > if 
> > > Voldemort was but a noxious gas at that point.
> 
<Debbie rewrites script to provide dramatic revival of Eloise at exactly this 
moment, whereupon she rushes immediately to Debbie's side to deliver this 
important bit of can(n)on that Debbie, a bit rattled by the fallout between 
Cindy and Elkins, could not find>

Eloise:

> In CoS, he has sources who tell him that Voldemort is currently hiding in 
> the 
> forests of Albania. He doesn't just say he assumes this, because of where 
> Quirrell  had met him, it appears to be *current* knowledge. And it's 
> nearly 
> two years later when he mentions Bertha disappearing where Voldemort was 
> 

Finished with this little bit, Debbie steps out of her trailer to find Cindy. 
 Everything is quiet, so Debbie wanders down to the shore and looks over the 
various vessels still moored to the dock.  Espying the Fourth Man Hovercraft, 
shot through with holes, Debbie hears echoes of Cindy's accusations:

> The Hovercraft that has been left to drift, 
> rudderless, as Judy, Debbie and even Eileen's *brother* attempt to 
> 

Debbie feels a pang of tremendous guilt; the greatest damage, she fears, was 
inflicted by her own can(n)ons.  But Elkins was so kind to her, even after 
her attack, unwittingly made while Elkins was off on vacation and could not 
defend herself.  But she now recalls more of Elkins' recent altercation with 
Cindy:

> "Hey, now, come on.  I 
> mean, just hold *on.*  You know perfectly well that I couldn't 
> possibly have gone anywhere near that hovercraft, not back then, not 
> with all of those canonical villains still out there gunning for me 
> and Avery.  
> 
Feeling better, Debbie goes over to the battered hovercraft, fishes out the 
kayak stowed aboard for Elkins, and Avery if he wants it.  She goes back to 
the hovercraft and returns with proper kayak paddles and life vests, which 
she stows in the kayak.  Finally, she pulls some extra water bottles from her 
inside pocket and puts them inside as well.

As she turns toward the Parallel Universe Fourth Man hovercraft, however, 
Debbie sees a new raft heading for shore, with the letters MATCHINGARMCHAIR 
emblazoned on the side. <Debbie glances out in the bay where the good ship 
LOLLIPOPS can be seen in the distance and makes a note to herself to request 
an acronym for Memory Charm'd Frank one of these days> 

It's Eileen, with Avery in tow, waving a new defense for Cindy's Memory 
Potion:

> "Be that as it may, there's a very simple reason why Harry reacted 
> worse than Neville, and it fits perfectly within the logic of the 
> Reverse Memory Charm or, as we must now call it, the Reverse Memory 
> Potion theory. Dementors make one relive one's worst moments. Harry, 
> having completely forgotten his parents' murder, does very badly 
> against the Dementors. But, what if, as MATCHINGARMCHAIR claims, 
> Neville is already reliving his parents' torture. If one regularly 
> hears Cruciatus screams already, wouldn't have one learned to cope 
> with them to some extent? Once Harry begins to cope more, he can face 
> the dementors much better. Boggart-dementors have all the emotional 
> and psychological effects of real dementors (as demonstrated in POA), 
> yet Harry is able to deal with that Boggart-dementor in GoF quite 
> handily. Neville does o.k. in the train, because he's an old hand at 
> the reliving-your-worst-memories game."
> 
Debbie smiles.  Debbie has been waiting patiently for days for someone to 
raise this argument.  It's a very clever argument.  After all, Debbie thought 
of it herself (one must always evaluate a theory from all sides, yes?).  So 
she will let Eileen down gently.

"This argument doesn't work.  Why?  It doesn't take the egg into account.  
Because one cannot simultaneously argue that Neville can't be had by the 
Dementors because he has a grip on his worst memories *and* at the same time 
argue that Neville could reasonably think the egg sounded like the Cruciatus 
curse.  If he's in touch with those memories, he *knows* what Cruciatus 
sounds like.  It sounds like his parents screaming in horror.  It does not 
sound like this." <Debbie pulls out tape of the Beatles' White Album and 
plays it backwards at 2000 rpm>  

Eileen nods silently.  Debbie gently points her and Avery toward the Fourth 
Man Kayak and hands them life vests.  Elkins suddenly appears on the beach 
and joins Eileen and Avery in the kayak.  Debbie then pulls out a tow-rope 
attached to the P.U. Fourth Man hovercraft and attaches the other end to the 
kayak.  Starting up the new hovercraft, Debbie steers slowly into the bay 
with the kayak behind, scanning the shoreline in case Eloise has been 
released from massage duties and would like to join her, remembering that 
they had left some unfinished work to find a new Fourth Man theory for the 
parallel universe, then recalls that Eloise now believes Fourth Man is Rita 
Skeeter.  She idles the engine, however, upon seeing some parchments floating 
toward her.  Picking them up, she reads, in Athenian goddess-like script:

>    Maybe the Fourth Man is not
> Avery after all.  Maybe the Fourth Man is someone that Could Not Be Named
> because to do so would compromise another hidden plotline.  A Man who we
> have conjectured about, but never really had proof of his existence.  A Man
> who we think was angry enough to curse his wife and subject her to years of
> imprisonment.  That of course would be the Cuckcolded Mr. Norris!
> 
> [snip] Then after the
> attacks on the Longbottoms, Mrs. Norris realized that her husband was one of
> the culprits.  She agonized over what to do.  [snip]
> So, Mrs. Norris did what her conscience dictated to her.  She turned state's
> evidence to the Ministry of Magic and delivered her husband and his
> accomplices.  Mr. Norris had suspected that she was with  Filch, but had
> more important fish to fry than to deal with that squib.  Then when he knew
> he was about to be arrested he decided to seek his revenge on her.  As the
> Aurors were approaching Mr. Norris, he turned his wand on his wife and
> 

Debbie reaches back into her badge pocket.  She has only a few, so this one 
can't be hard to find.  Yes, there it is.  F.L.I.R.T.I.A.C., and in tiny 
lettering underneath, "Filch's Lover Is, Regrettably, Transformed Into A 
Cat."  Debbie pins it to her lapel, then pulls out the navigational maps to 
chart out a course to the Aegean.

Debbie, who was in the garden shop yesterday and resisted buying that pink 
flamingo for her Gothic cathedral


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