[HPforGrownups] Re: Hurt-Comfort and reader crushes

[Laura Ingalls Huntley]

No: HPFGUIDX 39227

Mmm..I've been too busy to post much (read: at all) on this hurt-comfort thread before now, so excuse me while I roll up my jeans and wade in.

Elkins:
>A few more thoughts on "hurt-comfort," the dynamic whereby
>female readers tend to become erotically interested in male
>characters who suffer, provided that this suffering is depicted
>in certain specific ways.

Mm..I haven't got a nurturing or maternal bone in my body, but I definitely get drawn into the Hurt-Comfort thing at the drop of a hat.  I suspect that the "specific ways" you mention differ from person to person however.  I can't stand Snape -- and yet, characters like Sirius and Remus make me want to curl up for a good cuddle...

Not that I ever thought about them in that way before I joined HPFGU (they're a little old for me...not to imply that they ARE old..just too old for me ^_~), but I definitely noticed their appeal when it was pointed out to me.

I get the same feeling with Harry as well..although he's sort of -- too young.  I must confess..my fuzzy feels for Harry are certainly muddled by the fact that in PS/SS he's *11* (I refuse to crush on an eleven year old, goshdarnit)...and by GoF he's only 14..which isn't much better...at all.


Irene asked:
> If "Hurt-Comfort" is all it takes, how would you explain then the 
> almost perfect dichotomy of Sirius and Snape fan clubs? I know 1 
> (one) person who likes them both, for the rest they appear quite 
> incompatible. 


Oh...someone said something similar to this about a month (?) ago...and the list positively exploded with people who felt *very* differently..In any case, I think most of the aggression that is sometimes seen between Snape and Sirius fans is due to the fact that Snape and Sirius are quite aggressive towards *each other*...They feel obligated to be "loyal" to one or the other.

Elkins:
>As well as of explaining why poor hurt little woobie 
>Neville doesn't really qualify for membership in the Hurt-Comfort 
>club.  Great job!)

I just had to comment:  great use of the word "woobie".  


Elkins:
>Me, I like both of them myself, but I don't actually *fancy* either 
>one of them.  In fact, I was genuinely surprised when I first learned 
>that so many people were drooling over Sirius and Snape.  It honestly 
>hadn't even occurred to me to view anyone but Lupin as a crush 
>object.  

Ahh..and see, I didn't view any of them as crush objects...although, as I stated before, I definitely *understand* the attraction to Sirius and Lupin...and I guess I accept the attraction to Snape..just barely.


>Then, I don't find any of the kids erotically interesting either.  I 
>think that I can see where the Draco drooling (or the Harry drooling, 
>for that matter) comes from, but it doesn't really have much effect 
>on me.  This is probably due to the age difference that Eloise 
>cited.  I've got two decades on Harry and his peers, and I tend to 
>think of them as, well, as little kids.  

Well, I've only got less than an decade (at best) on them..and I still feel that way..Esp.  the way JKR tends to portray the kids as a little younger/innocent than their actual years as well.  I mean, when is Harry scheduled to hit puberty, anyway?

>But once again, this is far 
>from universal.  Plenty of adult readers manage to get crushy about 
>them anyway -- or about their own mental projections of the sorts of 
>adults that they are likely to become.

Yeah...or the sort of adults they become in certain wondrous fanfiction *coughs*....

>Hey, so what about Ron, huh?  What's wrong with Ron?  *He* suffers, 
>doesn't he?

But he can be such an arrogant bastard...and he's always making fun of/putting other people down (esp. Hermione..but plenty of others as well)...I realize this may be his angsty way of dealing with his heaping piles of pain and hurt, but...


Pippin:
> I can't help but feel, you know, that Ron appeals to a more mature 
> taste (assuming he grows out of the jealousy thing), as he's a 
> character that can give comfort as well as receive it. 

Mature taste?  Alright...I'll admit that, being a teenager, I probably am not the best authority on what is "mature", but well..jeez.  Ron seems very unhealthy and immature right now when it comes to *coughs* matters of the heart...

And I very rarely see him giving comfort.  His idea of comforting/defending/supporting someone is to *fight* for them...whereas Harry, Hermione, and Hagrid seem to have the real grasp on how to actually *help* a person in pain...for example..when Hermione is attacked/hurt by various and sundry people (Malfoy), Harry tends to be the one that goes to her and offers emotional support, while Ron loses his temper and confronts Malfoy -- while this is a reasonable reaction, it doesn't help Hermione very much.

Harry is also allot more sensitive to people's feelings....Ron is definitely lacking in this department.  He constantly berates Hermione on a low level -- and even if she doesn't mention it -- that kind of never-ending stream gets you down after awhile -- the little things just start to build, you know?  Also...Ron suggesting that Harry throw Riddle's diary through MM's nose...Harry would never think of that -- he might not be morally outraged by the suggestion...but it'd never *occur* to him to do something of that manner...

And the whole thing about the Yule Ball..personally, I know he's only such a jerk because he's insecure...but liking someone who is nasty to other people because of personal insecurities doesn't seem to mature to me.

And don't even get me started about how much more comforting/sensitive/helpful Hermione is to people who are emotionally upset.  Sure, she has her moments, but on the whole she's got a much better track record than Ron..

Additionally, I'd like to say what I always try to make clear when I'm "complaining" about Ron -- I wouldn't want him any other way.

laura -- who is bent to the point of being quite twisted




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