Hurt-Comfort and reader crushes

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 39252

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., Penny Linsenmayer <pennylin at s...> 
wrote:
> Hi --
> 
> Pippin:
> > I can't help but feel, you know, that Ron appeals to a more 
mature 
> > taste (assuming he grows out of the jealousy thing), as he's 
a 
> > character that can give comfort as well as receive it. 

Penny:
> I've been meaning to comment on this...but didn't know how (or 
whether I should) and Laura here has given me the perfect 
opportunity:
> 
> Laura said:
> 
> <<<Mature taste?  Alright...I'll admit that, being a teenager, I 
probably am not the best authority on what is "mature", but 
well..jeez.  Ron seems very unhealthy and immature right now 
when it comes to *coughs* matters of the heart...<<<

And the other two aren't? What's Hermione playing at with Viktor 
anyway? Is anybody really comfortable about her being in a  
relationship with a seventeen year old boy? And Harry has just 
barely managed to decide that it's okay to feel good when you 
see a pretty girl in the distance.

Laura:
> And I very rarely see him giving comfort.  His idea of 
comforting/defending/supporting someone is to *fight* for 
them...>>>>
> 
Penny:
> Hmmm.  Yes ...er...."mature taste"?  I admit that my first 
reaction was :::snorts of derisive laughter::::  But, then again, I'm 
not the biggest Ron fan on the planet.  <g><<<<


Okay, you can substitute "jaded and cynical" taste instead <g> 
>From my "mother of one grown and one teenaged male" 
perspective,  there are few  male characters besides 
Dumbledore who don't have some growing up to do. I'd say 
Hagrid and Sirius are close by the end of GoF. Lupin is just too 
good to be true. Yes, he's a fabulous teacher, and in that light it's 
very telling that Dumbledore doesn't try to persuade him to stay 
on. I don't think Lupin's a hopeless case, mind you, but I do think 
he let Harry down, and that realization, just possibly, might be a 
catalyst for change.

Penny:
> But, seriously ... when does Ron show instances that he can 
*give* comfort?  I've thought hard about this, and I can't really 
honestly come up with anything that falls into what I would 
subjectively rate as "giving comfort." <<<

He invites Harry to play Quidditch when Harry is on edge  about 
Sirius in Chapter 10, GoF. That was a very sensitive thing to do 
(pace Hermione). We know that's what helps Harry when he's 
anxious: "Quite apart from wanting to win, Harry found he had 
fewer nightmares when he was tired out after training." PS/SS. 
*Hermione* wants to go to bed, which is understandable, but 
Harry is full of adrenaline. He has a physical  need to burn it off, 
and Hermione just doesn't get it. 

The walk around the lake was a good thing as far as persuading 
Harry to write to Sirius and helping him dodge the crowd. On the 
other hand, I don't know that Hermione helped any by sticking 
her oar into the Ron/Harry dispute. If she hadn't given Harry a 
handy explanation for Ron's behavior, he might have been 
motivated to find out first-hand what was on Ron's mind and they 
could've settled their differences a lot sooner.

In the event, though I will admit Hermione made an effort, I don't 
see it as particularly comforting. Afterwards, Harry feels "a large 
weight of anxiety" and doesn't know what to do about it. 

I think Hermione is a wonderful girl but she's not just about 
perfect (I have no hope of convincing anyone who believes that 
she is. One thing I've learned from this list: love is blind.) 

Sometimes, IMO, Hermione is just as clueless as Ron when it 
comes to taking the emotional temperature. As a rallying cry, 
"You've got just as much right as wizards to be unhappy!" leaves 
something to be desired, don't you think?

Penny:
>>>I think at this point in the canon, Harry is head & shoulders 
above Ron in the department of being in touch with his feelings 
and being capable of having and responding to his own 
emotions<<<<

Why? Ron seems pretty much at peace with himself by the end 
of GoF. He's made a decision to let go of his grudge against 
Viktor, as shown by  asking for the autograph. He doesn't tease
Hermione about Viktor wanting a "vord". He manages a 
conversation and a handshake with Fleur without turning purple 
and staring. All his concern on the trip home is for Harry, 
Hermione and his brothers. He doesn't express any envy of  
Harry for winning the Tri-wizard gold that I can recall. I just don't 
see this seething bundle of adolescent resentment--if anybody 
embodies that, it's Draco.

Pippin