The Bull's Eye on Hermione's Back (WAS Doomed, they're doomed! [)

[Cindy C.]

No: HPFGUIDX 46166

I'm coming to this thread way late; I hope you all don't mind.

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Pip handicapped (about the potential demise of Hermione in OoP):

> Hermoine: Would be a bit suicidal, since she's JKR's alter-ego. 
> However, her tendency to forget she's a witch under stress may 
>lead her into serious problems. And JKR keeps getting noticeably 
>upset that no-one ever asks `Please don't kill Hermione.'
> Book 5: 1000 to 1. By Book 7: 20 to 1.
> Becomes full time political campaigner for rights of oppressed 
> species on graduation: 3 to 1.

That's it?  1000 to 1?  That's the best ya got?

Well, I'm going on record to say that Hermione is without question 
the death that JKR is finding Ever So Horrible to write.  Speaking 
the unvarnished truth is an ugly job, but someone has to do it.  
;-)  Here's the sad tale of woe that points to Hermione as dying a 
miserable and premature death in OoP, all IMHO, of course.

First up, JKR is really beating the "horrible to write" drum, isn't 
she?  At one point she might have even said writing this death 
would "crucify" her.  She says she's not enjoying it at all.  So 
whoever bites the bullet in OoP has to be *Big!*

But JKR gave us some other clues, didn't she?  She first mentioned 
this bit about "horrible to write" quite a long time ago.  She has 
to be aware that lots of folks are betting on Dumbledore or Hagrid.  
She knows what that Hagrid actor said about his contract.  Yet there 
she was just this week, telling some reporter again how oh-so-
horrible the death would be:

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Liso: And what kind of book is it, is it dark, is it light, is it 
sort of, y'know, bits of both, cos it's really getting darker, could 
you tell us something about the tone?

JKR: It is dark. And there's a bad death in it, which I haven't 
enjoyed writing. But I'm really pleased with it so far. Just got to 
tweak it a tiny bit more and then you can - well, the publisher's 
will have it.

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Look at that!  JKR *volunteered* that whole bit about the bad 
death.  She didn't have to say that, now did she?  It's like she 
couldn't wait to repeat the bit about the horrible death.  Oh, JKR 
is sitting in her mansion, laughing her head off that no one has 
come close to figuring out what she has in mind.  If we've all 
guessed it correctly in Dumbledore or Hagrid, I'd expect JKR to back 
off a bit or stay mum about the death.  So that means to me that the 
Hagrid/Dumbledore consensus is way off.

There's also the fact that JKR doesn't do the obvious.  Apparently, 
the smart money was not on Cedric before GoF was released.  People 
were worried for the twins.  That tendency to do the unexpected also 
suggests Hagrid isn't the one who will die.

And as Pip noted, JKR seems a little irked that no one begs her to 
spare Hermione.  I mean, if I were JKR and I had established the 
lynchpin of Book 5 as the death of Hermione, I'd be a little worried 
that no one seemed the least bit bothered by that potential 
outcome?  Oh, JKR is sweating now, rightfully worried that 
Hermione's death might not be met with the outpouring of grief JKR 
needs to make OoP work.  So she keeps hinting at the horrible death 
during interviews -- even when no one asks her about it.

As far as the death being difficult to write, I'm not surprised.  
Hermione's death would be quite difficult to write well.  I'm not 
sure how one would even go about it.  Would you order up a long slow 
death with lots of wheezing?  Would she die heroically?  Would she 
be ambushed, so to speak?  Would she be kidnapped first and die in 
the rescue attempt?  Would she be reduced to a pile of smoking ash?  
Would she die of her own ineptitude?  That, coupled with Pip's 
observation that writing Hermione's death might be akin to suicide 
for JKR, swings the spotlight firmly in Hermione's direction.

As for the actual means of Hermione's death, the possibilities are 
as legion as Hermione's character flaws and weaknesses.  She freezes 
under pressure.  She couldn't take on the boggart.  She was no match 
for that troll.  She hasn't been shown to duel.  She hasn't been 
shown to fly.  She wasn't much help when Harry was kicking in the 
door to rescue Ron in the Shack.  She couldn't throw off Imperius.  
The only DADA-type skill she has mastered is "Expelliarmus," IIRC.  
Oh, Hermione is quite competent at things that require thought, 
research, contemplation, memorization, planning and attention to 
detail.  Shooting from the hip, though, is not her strong suit.  Not 
at all.

But there are some good reasons why Hermione's number could be up.  
Hermione's death would galvanize the main characters like nothing 
else.  Despite the fact that Harry knows Voldemort killed his 
parents, Harry is far from feeling that he has a tangible motive to 
lead the charge against Voldemort.  I mean, you'd think Harry would 
think of nothing else but avenging his parents.  But no.  He's more 
interested in child's play, for the most part, and he usually takes 
on Voldemort directly when he absolutely has to and when there is 
minimal risk. 

Indeed, over four books, Harry hasn't gone after Voldemort all that 
agressively unless something else was on the line.  In PS/SS, Harry 
did go after the stone and he did it to prevent Voldemort's return, 
but Voldemort was still just a fume and Harry had help in Hermione 
and Ron.  In CoS, Harry knowingly went to the Chamber to face 
Voldemort, but his immediate motive was to save Ginny.  In PoA, 
Harry believed Black killed his parents, he was publicly goaded by 
Malfoy to try to find Black and avenge his parents, yet Harry stayed 
put -- Harry's confrontation with Black was a by-product of the 
effort to rescue Ron.  And in GoF, Harry was deposited at 
Voldemort's feet.  Indeed, at the end of GoF, Harry seems more shell-
shocked than girded for the coming fight.  Should Hermione be killed 
by Voldemort or a DE, Harry might well finally find the motivation 
he needs to pursue Voldemort to the ends of the earth.

You want another hint that Hermione will soon be pushing up devil's 
snare?  You know that whole bit where the Oprah kid said that 
muggles will get into the wizarding world?  Yup.  Hermione dies, and 
her parents "get into" the wizarding world for their daughter's 
funeral.  Or to have tea with her ghost, perhaps.  ;-)

For all of those reasons, I'm completely convinced that Hermione 
can't buy life insurance anywhere at any price.

Unless I change my mind again.  ;-)

Cindy -- way too polite to point out that Hermione's death just 
might somehow sink the R/H and H/H ships