(FILK) CoS Chapters 2 & 3

[Gail Bohacek]

No: HPFGUIDX 46641


Chamber of Secrets, Chapters 2 & 3
(Sorry, I couldn't think of a better title...)



Lilac and I celebrating the opening of CoS here in the U.S. the best way we 
know how!

Okay, many of you may be familiar with the Beatles' album _Abby Road_...if 
you aren't then *shame on you*!

On side 2 of the album (I'm still living in a world where there are still 
"side 2's") most of the songs are strung together, one immediately following 
the other without a break in between.  So, following in this vein, both 
Lilac and have filked five of these songs...

_Please Harry Potter, Don't Be Angry_ to the tune of _You Never Give Me Your 
Money_ by Lilac

_Underage Wizard_ to the tune of _Sun King_ by Lilac

_Mean Mr. Dursley_ to the tune of _Mean Mr. Mustard_ by Gail Bohacek

_Dursley Gets Mad_ to the tune of _Polythene Pam_ by Gail Bohacek

_He Escaped Through the Bedroom Window_ to the tune of _She Came In Through 
the Bedroom Window_ by Gail Bohacek

So, sit back and enjoy....

Dedicated to our fellow filkers...you're a source of much amusement and all 
inspiration!

******************************************************
_Please Harry Potter Don't Get Angry_


(The Scene: Harry's bedroom. Dobby the house-elf is nimbly keeping Ron and 
Hermione's letters out of Harrys reach, while he is singing...)

DOBBY:

Please Harry Potter, dont be angry
Dobby hoped youd think your friends forgot you
And that you wouldn't want to go back to school
Please stay here!

Please, Harry Potter must promise
That sir will not go back to dangrous Hogwarts
Because some evil wizards soon will cavort
Please stay here!

HARRY:

Dobby, you dont understand
I dont belong in Muggle land
I belong in your world  at Hogwarts

Its all Ive got to keep me sane
My family treats me inhumane
That is why Ill go back to Hogwarts

That Hogwarts magic feeling, back there Ill go
That Hogwarts magic feeling, back there Ill go, back there Ill go...

(Dobby sprints down the stairs, and Harry follows soon thereafter. He finds 
Dobby levitating the pudding up by the kitchen ceiling.)



HARRY (gasping) :

Dobby, no!

DOBBY:

Sir has left Dobby without a choice
See this pudding floating here
Dobby will drop it down then disappear

HARRY:

Dobby, dont
do it, I pray!
But I cant say that I will stay (no I cant, I cant, I cant .....)

(Dobby lets the pudding fall to the floor with a crash, splattering the room 
and Harry with the creamy concoction. Dobby then disappears as Harry hears 
Uncle Vernon on his way into the kitchen...)


HARRY (to himself):

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six and five
I can kiss my bum goodbye...

*****************************************************

_Underage Wizard_

(The Scene: After the "Pudding Disaster", Harry has been locked in his room 
for three days with very little to eat, and is feeling utterly hopeless and 
helpless about his predicament. Being lulled to sleep by the sound of 
crickets chirping outside, he fitfully dreams that he is in a locked in a 
cage, starving and weak, laying on a bed of straw, with a sign on the cage 
that says...)

HARRY:

"UNDERAGE WIZARD"
"UNDERAGE WIZARD"
See the people goggling
See the Dursleys laughing
"UNDERAGE WIZARD"

(He sees Dobby among the crowd and calls out to him...)

Dobby, bloody house-elf, come and help me break on out of this joint!
Locked up in a cage like in a zoo, all of the people cruelly point

DOBBY:

No, sir, Harry Potter! Sir is safe there, just cant let sir be destroyed.

*************************************************

_Mean Mr. Dursley_


Mean Mr. Dursley, Harry's uncle
He's a Muggle really hates magic
Lives at Number 4 Privet Drive
Hated Harry since he'd arrived
Always made sure he was deprived
Such a Muggle that man
Such a Muggle that man

Petunia his wife Dudley his son
They are no fun, they hate Harry too
Petunia makes him work like a slave
Dudley always acting depraved
Can't believe the way they behave
Such a Muggle family
Such a Muggle family

*****************************************************
_Dursley Gets Mad_


Well, you should've seen Dursley get mad
He put bars on Harry's window, the cad
Locked him in his room, won't let him go back to school
Yes, you should've seen Dursley get mad
Yeah, yeah, yeah

When he found out Harry couldn't cast spells
Outside of school or else he would get expelled
Said, "You'll never go back!", wouldn't cut him no slack
And now Harry's bedroom has become like a cell
Yeah, yeah, yeah

***************************************************
_He Escaped Through The Bedroom Window_

He escaped through the bedroom window
Now everything is just okay
The Dursley's hang dumbstruck in amazement
As they watch as he flies away

Nobody ever told them
Now they all can plainly see
Harry's leaving from the Dursley's
He's going home with the Weasley's

Harry's stuff was locked in the cupboard
Fred and George snuck down the stairs
Pretty soon they'd packed the old Ford
On the sill, Harry's almost there

But then Vernon, he tried to grab him
It was like a tug-of-war
And though he tried his best to stop him
Harry left in that flying car

Nobody ever told them
Now they all can plainly see
Harry's leaving from the Dursley's
He's going home with the Weasley's
Oh yeah


-Gail B.  who has tickets to see the movie at 11:55 this morning, and all 
ready to go!


P.S. We're *THIS* close to filking the entire album of _Abby Road_!  Please 
help!  E-mail me.

Also, it's my mad, mad ambition to see every single Beatle song filked!  To 
this end, I've created a list "FILKING THE BEATLES" which shows all the 
Beatles' albums and matches them up with the filks that we've finished so 
far...please ask for a copy when you write me :)>

Thanks a bunch!  Man, I love this group!








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