TBAY -- The last temptation of Snape?

[Judy]

No: HPFGUIDX 46947

"What new place is this?" Judy wondered.   She looked around at the
various people engaged in vigorous discussion.  Was that *Avery*,
sitting hunched over in the corner?  Then she spied George and his
sister Diana, filling glasses and washing dishes.  "I seem to have
materialized in George's Tavern, " Judy thought. "Someone must have
been discussing my theories, causing me to accidentally switch
universes." 

Just then, the door burst open.  A passerby was being hauled in off
the street.  The passerby looked familiar -- it was Wendy, who had
moved into the area recently.  Judy watched as Wendy was interrogated
about her Snapetheories.  "If people keep getting dragged in here,"
Judy thought, "the Tavern is going to become a very crowded place." 

Judy ordered a cup of tea, and sat down at an empty table.  This would
be a good opportunity to catch up with the latest theories proposed by
other Snape researchers. Judy cupped her hand behind her ear and
listened intently, but it was impossible to hear anything over the
loudly slurred words to "Jean Valjean" that were coming from a
dimly-lit figure dancing on top of the bar.  Fortunately, the singer
soon stopped dancing and climbed off the bar, saying, "Enough
entertainment for now.  I've got a new theory, and boy, does it bang."

Judy looked closely at the formerly dancing figure.  It was Captain
Cindy, the famous originator of the noted "Big Bang" theory.  Cindy
said, "I think that Snape could only return to Voldemort if Snape did
something Big to prove that he was truly loyal to Voldemort."

Judy shook her head.  She knew that Voldemort -- or "Lord Phoenix
Tears", as she liked to call him -- could be easily led around by his
enormous ego.  Snape could get back into his good graces by pretending
to have been fooling Dumbledore all along. Judy had intended to just
sit quietly and listen, but before she knew it, she found words coming
out of her mouth: "Voldemort, being an Evil Overlord and all, doesn't
want to believe that Snape actually was spying on him and is quite
prepared to take Snape's word for it. Evil Overlords are just like
that sometimes. Also, Voldemort believes he can infallibly detect
lies, and Snape may have a potion that enhances his persuasiveness."
She paused for minute to regain her self of self-control, and then
continued. "So, it's likely, although not 100% guaranteed, that
Voldemort will take him back instead of killing him."

Just then, a disembodied female voice echoed from somewhere near the
ceiling: "I think we are missing a key character witness for the
theory that Snape is still seen as a DE by those from the Dark Side.
Step up Lucius Malfoy and his odious little son Draco 'my dad would
vote you head master of Hogwarts, you're the best teacher here'
Malfoy. Would Voldemort's slippery friend really let his precious son
be taught by a traitor?" 

The disembodied voice made most of the bar patrons start in shock, but
Judy retained her, well, Serenity. She said, "Don't worry everybody,
there's nothing to it!  Um, I mean, that's just "Theresnothingtoit",
who is unfortunately trapped in another dimension -- some university
or other, I think.  I'd like to point out that Theresnothingtoit has
an excellent point.  Although we never see Lucius and Snape together
in canon, it's clear from Draco's behavior that Snape is still seen as
a Death Eater by Lucius.  If Lucius is willing to see Snape as Death
eater, why shouldn't Voldemort?"    

Captain Cindy wasn't buying any of it. "Voldemort *knows* Snape
betrayed him and *knows* that Snape has been working with Dumbledore
for over a decade, and is just going to assume that Snape can be
trusted back in Voldemort's inner circle? The Evil Overlord character
has to make some mistakes so that the hero can win, but the author
can't take it too far. The readers will never accept
Sucker!Voldemort."  Eagerly, Cindy continued.  "Voldemort has never
willfully disregarded a known risk, has he? Oh, he forgets stuff. And
he makes mistakes due to incomplete information, like not knowing
about the wand cores or Lily's ancient magic. But I can't think of an
instance where Voldemort knew about a major risk and just dismissed it
out of hand."

Judy stroked her chin thoughtfully. "I would say that the readers have
*already* accepted Sucker!Voldemort. What sort of competent wizard has
four chances to kill a little kid, and flubs them all?  However, I
agree that Voldemort may ask for proof of Snape's loyalty, most likely
by asking Snape to assassinate someone."

"You do?"  Cindy was shocked. 

"Certainly, why *not* send Snape on a some horrible mission?  It's no
skin off of Voldemort's teeth, er, fangs. He's said that his erstwhile
followers will have to make up for not helping him during the long
years that he was VaporMort. He made Peter prove his loyalty by
cutting off his own hand.  Yes, Voldemort will make Snape do something
awful, but not necessarily because he thinks Snape was truly a
traitor.  He'll make Snape do something awful because he's Voldemort.
Making people do awful things is what Voldemort does for a living --
I mean, to the extent that Voldemort is really alive, that is." 

"But, I expected to hear objections," Cindy said. "Like, `Snape
wouldn't do such a thing ? he was a *nice* DE.'"

"Well," said Judy, "although Snape is virtually perfect,  he still
sometimes has to do unpleasant things for the greater good. So, he'll
assassinate someone if he has to."

Just then, the sound of moaning was heard outside the Tavern. "Noo!
It's too dangerous for him! No, please, no!!!!"

Judy opened the door, and pulled in the sobbing stranger. "Who are
you, and why is the matter?" she asked gently.

"My name is Monika, and I'm worried about Snape.  Spying for Voldemort
is just too dangerous.  I don't want Snape to die!"  

"Well," Judy said, "You might be relieved by my theory of the
arbitrary nature of danger in the Potterverse. I hypothesize that
things are dangerous in the Potterverse if and only if JKR says they
are.  A bare-handed Harry can face a powerful, armed older wizard who
has a basilisk on his side and get only a temporary scratch, but
Cedric Diggory just touches the Triwizard Trophy and ends up dead. 
Spying on Voldemort isn't necessarily dangerous, because there's no
objective sense in which any activity in the Potterverse is dangerous.
 I do fear that Snape's redemption will involve sacrificing his life,
but I'm fairly confident that it won't happen until Book 7.  At the
rate JKR is going, we may get to theorize about our beloved Snape for
decades." 

Judy's sereneness seemed to calm this newcomer.   She gave Monika a
nice hot cup of tea, and returned to her conversation with Cindy. 

"Hmm," said Cindy, "it would be better if you thought Voldemort
wouldn't trust Snape without a Bang. But, at least we both believe
that Voldemort is likely to ask Snape to do something horrible. That
will do to be getting on with.  The only question is, what will
Voldemort have Snape do?"  She paused for moment. "I seem to have
three variants right here. First, there is the 'Karkaroff's Head On A
Stake' variant. Snape and Dumbledore have hatched a can't-miss plan to
absolutely insure Snape's welcome back into the DE fold. Snape
apparates straight to Voldemort's lair clutching two things in his
slimy hands to prove his loyalty beyond question -- Karkaroff's wand
and Karkaroff's *head.*"

"Ouch!" Judy yelled. "That Bangs too much -- my ears are ringing!
Snape is supposed to be a good guy, after all."

"OK," said Cindy, "so let's consider the next variant -- Snape doesn't
kill Karkaroff himself. I mean, where's the fun in that? No, instead
there's the 'Bring Him In Alive' variant. Snape apprehends Karkaroff
and brings him to Voldemort alive -- furs and all."

"No, that's not much better," Judy said. 

Cindy thought for a moment. "Well, there is the safest Assassin!Snape
variant for those with weak stomachs -- the traditional 'The Devil
Made Me Do It' variant. Snape goes to Voldemort, who sends him after
Karkaroff *or else,* so Snape -- deeply conflicted and racked with
guilt -- does what he must do." 

"Ah," said Judy. "Snape, deeply conflicted and racked with guilt,
doing what he must do! That's the Snape we all know and love.  I mean,
we do all love him, right? RIGHT?"

Monika looked up from her tea. "Of course we all love Snape! Who's
more lovable in all of HP universe?!" 

"So, then, " said Cindy. "It's all settled.  Snape will go kill
Karkaroff...."

Just then, a shadow seemed to pass over the bar, and Judy felt a faint
breeze.  She blinked.  When she opened her eyes, Pippin was standing
in front of her.  "That's odd," Judy thought. "I don't remember Pippin
being here."

"Yes, Snape will be sent to assassinate someone," said Pippin, sipping
casually from a glass of mysterious red liquid, "but I don't believe
it will be Karkaroff. Instead, Karkaroff will be captured, and MacNair
will get to kill him in some nasty, messy and, er, interesting way.
Snape will have to watch, helpless, while his old pal (lover?)
Karkaroff screams and begs him to help, and Harry gets to see it all
via Scar-o-Vision."

"Well, that sounds plausible enough," Judy said.  "But, if not
Karkaroff, then who do you expect will be Snape's victim?" 

"Ah, don't forget that Voldemort plans to court the Dementors!" Pippin
gestured with her glass, and Judy noted that *whatever* the liquid
was, it seemed to be forming clots. "But what has Voldemort got now
that can compare with the live-in snack bar they've got at Azkaban?
Why should the D-men think Voldemort can deliver, that he's stronger
than the Ministry? Why indeed, unless he delivers to them the one
thing that the Ministry has so far failed to provide...their lawful
prey, the one prisoner who got away."

Pippin paused for dramatic emphasis. "Snape is going after Sirius,"
she said.

Judy looked at the ground for a moment, lost in thought.  "That would
certainly give Snape a dilemma, but...." Her voice faltered -- Pippin
had vanished!  But before Judy could determine where Pippin had gone,
Eileen rushed up, carrying a decanter.  "Brandy?" Eileen asked,
holding out a snifter. 

"No, thank you," Judy said.  "I hear it makes one want to wear
FEATHERBOAS, and that just isn't me.  I'm an animal lover, after all."

"Ah yes," said Eileen, pulling her own FEATHERBOAS more closely around
her, "Foaming Enthusiasts of Ambush, Torture, and Hostility, Embracing
Really Bloodthirsty Operations and Savagery.  I want blood on Snape's
hands. I like Sadist!Snape because it makes him so much more
interesting, so compelling."  

Judy looked into Eileen pale face and glittering eyes.  It was only
Judy's detached, serene nature than kept her from backing away from
Eileen. 

Eileen seemed not to notice the concerned look on Judy's face, and
plunged on. "If we say that Snape was never truly evil, then we lose
the power of his character. It's all about... It's all about
Redemption! Otherwise, we have a universe where Snape only is redeemed
because he always was better than the others!" 

Somewhere from the crowd, someone said, "Snape is going to be tempted
to return to the dark side!  I just know it."  Judy looked around, but
couldn't tell who had spoken.  

Diana strolled over from the bar, and chimed in.  "That's right. Snape
*enjoyed* torturing people when he was a Death Eater.  He wasn't
baking cakes for the next DE Bring and Buy sale, or circulating houses
with 'Support Your Local Evil Overlord' campaign leaflets now, was
he?"

Judy looked doubtful. "I don't believe that Snape was ever as evil as
you say, Diana and Eileen. In fact, I have no problem with the idea
that Snape was always better than the other Death Eaters."

"Neither do I!" said Monika.  Judy shot her a grateful look. 

"If Snape truly enjoyed torturing others, he simply wouldn't be
redeemable," Judy continued.  "Normal people don't go around
inflicting pain 'just for fun.'  A person who does that is a severe
sociopath.  Snape lacks the qualities of a sociopath -- an ability to
charm others, a lack of introspection, a desire for action, a lack of
remorse for hurting others, poor impulse control, an inability to
learn from one's mistakes. Now, Sirius on the other hand...." her
voice trailed off.  "Er, where was I?  Oh, yes, Snape is not a
sociopath. I agree that he must have done *something*  evil, or else
he wouldn't need redemption. But, that doesn't mean he's like Lucius,
enjoying torturing others. Instead, I think my dear Severus acted out
of bitterness, out of his feeling of persecution. The prank made him
think that the Marauders wanted him dead, and he thought that
Dumbledore--  yes, Dumbledore -- was colluding with them.  So, he
joined Dumbledore's enemy in an attempt to seek protection and
revenge.  But, he never found attacking innocent people to be *fun*."

"However," Judy added thoughtfully.  "There is no question -- Snape
does not consider Sirius to be innocent. If Voldemort sends him after
Sirius, Snape will *want* to kill Sirius.  Snape will be tempted to
return to the Dark Side.  It's angsty, and Snape is nothing if not an
angst collector.  Yes, Snape will be tempted to return to the side of
evil.  I like it."  Judy sat down and opened her notebook, her quill
moving furiously. 

As she made notes, Wendy strode up.  "Judy, I agree with your idea
that Voldemort will accept Snape back," she said. "But maybe it's for
*personal* reasons. Maybe Voldemort has a vested interest in wanting
to believe Snape couldn't have betrayed him because Snape was always
one of his very *favourites*. I won't go so far as to credit Voldemort
with actual feelings of love, but maybe as close to that as an Evil
Overlord can get. He's just *fond* of Snape in a very particular way
and would do just about anything to believe that Snape couldn't
possibly have betrayed him."

Judy leaped up and gasped in shock.  A Voldemort/Snape shipper in the
Tavern?  Then slowly, she sat back down.  "This is my kind of place,"
she said.



~~ Judy Serenity, who is kind of weirded out by the idea of a
Voldemort/Snape ship and doesn't think it's likely in canon, but who
thinks Snape being re-tempted by the Dark Side is very plausible 

***********

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