TBAY - Snape the Killer

[lucky_kari]

No: HPFGUIDX 47007

"Please!" Karkaroff pleaded with Cindy. "Help me!"

"I don't think I can," said Cindy stiffly. "Excuse me. I must get back
up on the counter."

"Can someone help me?" cries Karkaroff.

"Mr. Karkaroff!" calls Eileen. "Come over here a second. Sit down with
Avery and me. I won't let Cindy let Snape kill you. I still think it's
profoundly out of character."

Karkaroff gratefully takes a chair at the table.

"In fact, Igor - may I call you Igor? - I was actually working on a
redemption theory for you before this whole mess got started, which
made me laugh hysterically when Marina said, "Are
there any Karkaroff redemption scenarios floating around the Bay?"

"Well, where is it?" demanded Karkaroff in a hoarse voice.

"I'm afraid I haven't time for that. I have more pressing concerns at
the moment. Snapetheories."

"You too," sighs Karkaroff.

"But Igor, I'll give you the dirt on Cindy." Eileen's face takes up
the look of one of the most keen gossipers on the Bay, the one who
knows exactly which list members have shipped themselves with who.
"She started an organization devoted to crushing on you and Viktor
Krum. I think you should go remind her of that. Declare your undying
love and you'll have her at your feet concocting survival theories."

A glimmer comes into Karkaroff's eyes. Avery shakes his head, as
Karkaroff makes his way towards Cindy.

"Well, you've got to give the fellow some hope," says Eileen. "Now,
Avery..."

Eileen suddenly sees Wendy waving at her across the bar. "Back in a
second, Aves," she says and heads off to meet her.

"You said there weren't any rabid Sirius 'Prank' apologists about,"
says Wendy resentfully, watching Dicentra and Stoned!Harry harassing
the pub goers.

"Well," says Eileen, "No-one expects the Sirius Apologist."

"Anyway," says Wendy. "Did you pay her to come in like that? Because
she came up with some really good canon to support your "Snape is a
killer" theory."

"And a rather strange Death Eater theory as well," says Eileen.
"Dicey, can you come over here a second?"

Dicentra turns from backing George into a corner, and bounds over to
Wendy and Eileen. "What is it?"

"Well, don't you think they'd notice that Avada Kedavra upped your
lifespan?"

"What?"

"First there was this, "Cruciatus makes you stronger" theory from
Cindy, and now it's "AK increases your lifespan." Where do you get the
canon for that?"

Dicentra looks miffed. "Look. "As you can see, yew trees are
themselves death eaters: feasters on the dead. But I doubt Voldemort
and his cronies are exhuming graves to gnaw on moldy old bones. No,
they've undoubtedly found a new way to eat death--cause it, then
profit from it.

"Seeing as how Voldemort's ultimate quest is immortality, it stands to
reason that his DEs are following him down that same path. Is it not
probable that they've learned how to 'eat' the death of someone
they've AK'ed, adding that person's remaining lifespan to their own?
And is it not reasonable to assume that anyone who made it into
Voldemort's Inner Circle pursued that path toward immortality with the
same vigor as Voldemort himself? Do you really mean to tell me that
Snape became a Death Eater without Eating Death? Surely, you jest!"

"Dicentra," says Eileen, "that is a very cool theory you have there.
But again, has no-one noticed? If AKing people gave you more time on
earth, don't you think it'd be a huge societal problem, not something
restricted to a few thugs in hoods and masks? Is Moody going to live a
few hundred years since he's offed Rosier, and presumably, others? I'd
bet anything that AK does not normally increase your lifespan, of its
nature. However... given it's a cool theory, I think you're right that
they were getting immortality by killing people. How, I don't know.
But Death Eaters suggests it, doesn't it?"

"Well," says Dicentra snappishly. "What do you think of my canon to
show that Snape must have been in up to his neck in Voldemort's
evildoings?"

"I will treasure it in my heart. Very convincing. That would have been
the perfect moment for Dumbledore to say, "Harry. Severus Snape never
was as bad as all those other Death Eaters."

"Well, ok," says Dicentra. "We'll let you theorize in peace. What's
your opinion on the Prank?"

"Sirius Black was an utter bastard who still won't grow up and
apologize for his hideous actions towards Snape."

"Argghh..." says Dicentra, and clenching her teeth, wanders off in the
direction of the drinks.

"Well?" Eileen asks Wendy.

"You know, I'm starting to like Avery a bit," says Wendy pensively,
"and find myself hoping that he'll be able to see past some of my
earlier comments which offended him. And that maybe we can be
friends." (1)

"Well, come along over. Heaven knows Avery can't be picky when it
comes to friends. He seems to have misplaced them all. Rosier dead.
Wilkes dead. The Lestranges in Azkaban. Snape redeemed. Avery needs
all the TBAY support he can get."

*This is Oh So Disturbing because a) he's an evil SYCOPHANTic Death
Eater. and b) he doesn't really exist(2),* thinks Wendy as she shakes
hands with Avery. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Avery," she says
aloud. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"No, no more drinks for Avery," says Elkins sharply, looking up from
the LupiFAQ. "Someone has to look out for his health."

Avery glares at Elkins, who has buried her head in a pile of papers again.

"Can I have a seat at the table?" asks Judy Serenity. "I'm dying fo a
good Snape discussion." 

"Ah yes," said Eileen, pulling her own FEATHERBOAS more closely around
her, "I want blood on Snape's hands. I like Sadist!Snape because it
makes him so much more interesting, so compelling."

Judy looked into Eileen pale face and glittering eyes. It was only
Judy's detached, serene nature than kept her from backing away from
Eileen. 

"If Snape truly enjoyed torturing others, he simply wouldn't be
redeemable," Judy continued. "Normal people don't go around
inflicting pain 'just for fun.' A person who does that is a severe
sociopath. Snape lacks the qualities of a sociopath -- an ability to
charm others, a lack of introspection, a desire for action, a lack of
remorse for hurting others, poor impulse control, an inability to
learn from one's mistakes. Now, Sirius on the other hand...." her
voice trailed off.
"The Sirius Apologist is watching you," booms Dicentra.

"Since when did sadism equal sociopathism?" asks Eileen steadily.
"Socipathism is as you said, a lack of introspection, a lack of
remorse for hurting each others, poor impulse control, an inability to
learn from one's mistakes. One can have a taste for cruelty and not
lack all these positive qualities, you know?"

"No, I didn't," says Judy. 

"Well, it's true. Heck, look at Avery here. Remorseful as anything."

"For the last time," says Judy. "FourthMan!Avery with Remorse is not a
character in the books called Harry Potter written by J.K. Rowling."

"Well, the point is that when Elkins first said Snape had a taste for
cruelty, she contrasted it with his introspection and remorse. And
no-one would deny he's learned from his mistakes and is working on his
impulse control. But the world would be a hell of a lot simpler if
everyone with remorse and the ability for introspection were to not
get any kick out of cruelty. I don't want to bring Solzhenitsyn into
this..."

"Liar," mutters Elkins.

"But just take a look at the entire Soviet system. Dekulakization, for
example. Have you read any of the accounts of the cruelty ordinary
young men and women engaged in on behalf of the Party towards the
"kulaks?" These weren't sociopaths. They were ordinary people, well
some of them anyway. It's my humble belief, after studying way too
much 20th century history, that everyone has a taste for cruelty. Some
of us more than others. I'd put Snape with that "more than others"
crowd from what I've seen in him from canon. But the point is that
while Snape's instincts might have gone one way, he did reflect on his
actions, he did feel remorse, and he went to Dumbledore and resolved
to ammend his ways." 

"Well, if you say so," says Judy, looking disappointed. "I think I'm
going to go talk with Monika about this one."

Eileen leans back in her chair. Suddenly, Diana sweeps up. "I heard
what you were saying," says Diana. "These are the Death Eaters. They
kill, they torture, they betray people. Can you name me one who
didn't? Do you really..." Diana paused to drape a pink
flamingo-feather boa (which clashed horribly with her nails and lips)
around her neck, "Do you *really* think that Severus could have got
away with being part that crowd and not doing anything of which he
might later be ashamed?"

Wendy flinches. 

"Torture or poisons," says Diana. "Choose your... errr... poison."

"Both," says Eileen. "You can torture people with poisons. If he
brewed them, I think he probably administered them as well."

"I don't believe he was evil. I believe he did evil things out of a
mistaken belief in a false philosophy. He was taken in by evil, if you
like," says Eloise, coming up behind Diana.

"I don't buy it," says Eileen. "I understand some of the idea all
right, but are you saying that Voldemort isn't evil because he
believes in this false philosophy?  Now, you could make an argument
for any one person not to be evil on the grounds that they are
deluded... But I think I'd need to see evidence that Severus Snape was
that deluded. You see, I don't have a problem with calling people evil
if they do evil things. It doesn't make them a space alien. It just
makes them... well... evil. And some people are less evil than others.
And an evil person can be good if they stop doing evil things and
repent about them."

"Simplistic," says Eloise.

"Yeah, it is," says Eileen. "I'm like that sometimes."

Eileen