TBAY:Dumbledore's head (was: Re: TBAY: Assassin!Snape, etc)

[eloiseherisson at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 47044

The waters of Theory Bay were unnaturally still in anticipation of the coming 
storm. Only the gentle splash of oars steadily rowing disturbed the peaceful, 
moonlit night.
Gradually a huge hulk loomed up over the little rowing boat.

"OK, that's it. Can you get up the ladder?"

"I think so."

"Go on then. Secure the rope at the top and I'll start passing up the goods."

A figure deftly climbed the rope ladder and soon a package was being hauled 
up the side of the ship and onto deck. The second figure heaved itself 
uncertainly up the side.

"Never did like rope ladders.....And that dratted thong...."

"Are you *sure* about this?" asked the other woman, "Don't you think she 
might be a bit miffed at us installing a theory on her own ship under cover 
of darkness?"

"It's for her own good. Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder what's wrong with 
the woman. We present her with a *huge* Bang and is she interested?"

"Not at all. I can't see why."

"Well, that's Cindy. She has this idea that something only Bangs if she says 
it does: 'Humpty Dumptying the Bangs' we call it.  What kind of a captain is 
she, anyway? All that Karkaroff rot. As if that Bangs! No. This theory 
*belongs* here, whether she recognises it or not!"

"Where shall we put it?"

"Over here will do. Pass it over, Pip."

A rather unwieldy package, whose rather attractive wrappings were somewhat 
disfigured with blood, was passed over.

"Yuck! Why did we suggest decapitation?"

"Well, it sounded good at the time. At least you specified it was on a 
plate."

"OK. It's in position. Damn! There's only one gun-port."

"You mean you brought can(n)ons?"

"Yep! First of all there's the 'I'd trust Hagrid with my life' can(n)on. 
Clearly an indication that that's the last thing Dumbledore should do and a 
portent of a Bang to come, if ever I heard one. Cindy should *love* that one 
- you know how she feels about Hagrid!"

"And you've another?"

"Yes, although really it's an alternative to the Hagrid one, so perhaps it 
doesn't matter if there's only one gun port. You might like this one, because 
it posits that Dumbledore's death is all part of a scheme worked out by 
Dumbledore and Snape. It's the passage at the end of GoF, where Dumbledore 
sends Snape on his mission.

"You see, I want to suggest that Dumbledore is sending Snape back to 
Voldemort precisely to prepare the way for his own sacrifice. It seems that 
Dumbledore has been unable to tell Harry about his destiny up to now. I 
suggest that he is grooming him for a role that he will be able to take up 
only when Dumbledore is no longer there, that Dumbledore know that he must 
pass his mantle as the greatest living wizard on to Harry. As Fawkes has to 
die before he can rise again, so Dumbledore has to die before Harry can 
assume his mantle and defeat Voldemort.
"Snape, then, has to regain Voldemort's trust and set in motion the train of 
events that will lead to the 'betrayal' of perhaps the one person who has 
ever shown him true friendship. No wonder Snape's pale and Dumbledore's 
apprehensive. 
"Come on, help me haul these aboard"

"Do you think Cindy'll buy it?"

"Nah...Not a chance. Oh one last thing. Pass me the Spellotape, would you?"

And leaning precariously over the side, Eloise taped a new name over the 
proudly emblazoned words 'Big Bang'.

"There! The Humpty Dumpty!" she said, "And God bless all who sail in her!"

"Nice!" said Pip, admiring the beautifully crafted gold chiselled gothic 
lettering. "Where d'you get it?"

"Oh that? Well, don't tell anyone, but I stole it from the Experimental Fonts 
Laboratory. You know, those fonts Porphyria was working on for Fantastic 
Posts? It was one of the rejects just lying around, so I thought....you 
know...well, it seemed a shame to waste it.
Don't suppose it'll be there for long, though", she added wistfully.
"Come on, we'd better get back. I think there's some stuff I have to see to 
back at George's"

Eloise


Hypothetic Alley:

http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/faq/hypotheticalley.html

Inish Alley:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13