TBAY: For the love of a dishwasher...and a sword

[Melody]

No: HPFGUIDX 47173

First, I love my job.  People saw me writing today and assumed it was
my thesis and let me be.  I thought it best not to right them.  After
all, this is *way* more important than that silly thing.  :)

And second, I know Grey posted his response in a non-TBAY muggle form,
so imagine that bit still with this happening earlier or maybe during.
 Or something like that.  Really, this is an attempt to calm the
waters a bit, which Grey also did by taking to discussion out of TBAY.
 But as it is, I had too much fun writing this to not present it.

Oh and Grey, in front of God and the group, I want to say, about your
last post, I have never been prouder to call you my friend.

So dry that eye and we are off to TBAY land.  "I know you're going to
love it.  Just love it." (Willy Wonka)

[Oh and if not, well - I'm sorry.  I tried.]

------

Drying her eyes from her jitters with yelling, Melody watched Grey and
Pip advance towards Pippin, Alla, and Abigail.  Personally Melody
thought they should fear the cracking sound of Grey popping his
knuckles, but that did not seem to phase them.  Cindy was still
brooding around in the corner and the tavern was at a low uproar.
Seems everyone was talking and hardly anyone was making any attempt at
listening or reconciling.  At current state, these discussions seem
pointless.

Melody leaned back in her chair and muttered to herself, "Trying to
attach MAGICAL DISHWASHER is like trying to satisfy an itch by blowing
on it.  We'll just annoy you further, and you'll just be out of breath
with frustration."

Looking around the full room, Melody felt helpless.  The din was
getting quite loud.  Her only option was to attempt a mass crowd
control.  Her eyes fell on the bar.  "Well, why not?" she said drawing
her courage.

She leapt onto the bar, which luckily is one of those kind without the
glasses hanging over it, and stood tall facing the room.  Poor George
just buried his face in his hands and mumbled, "I could of been given
a nice cozy tea room, but *no*."

"People, listen to me! -- Please!" Melody cried raising her arms to
give that universal appeasement wave down.

One of the regulars looked up at the girl and elbowed her neighbor.
"Hey, 10 galleons if she says she's going to take the ring to Mordor."

Well the crowd was having none of it.  "No!"  "Leave us be!"  "Go back
to your precious Safe House."  "You are too slippery to be fair."  The
splattered food was being scooped up and thrown at the girl to
punctuate their passion on the issue.

"Hey, I did not call us here," Melody tried to defend dodging a huge
helping of corned beef.

>From a corner, a lone fresh apple flew through the air from the area
where a certain captain was standing off behind the girl.  It was
aimed dead on for her little head.

Pip and Grey started to attempt to break the apple's quest, but they
were too far away to get there in time.

The apple twirled closer and closer as the room stood silent.

A voice near by called out, "Melody!  Here -- Watch out!" and tossed a
shiny sword into the clueless hand of Melody.

"Huh?" Melody asked twirling around to see what the voice meant, and
as she did, the sword sliced the apple into two halves deflecting the
pieces to the floor.

Only the heavy breath of the room filled the next moments.  Melody
just looked, sword still outstretched to her side, between the apple
halves and Pip and Grey.  They looked quite relieved.

Melody looked down at the sword and saw 'Frankie' engraved above the
hilt.  "Frankie," Melody gasped.  Looking at the sword and down to her
friend leaning on the bar, Melody paused a second.  "Why do you have a
sword?"

"Comes in handy and is dead sexy," Frankie winked.

"Quite right," Melody observed as she drew the sword in an ever
chivalrous position and saluted it down.  "I have *got* to get me one
of these."

"Oh, I have dozens.  Keep it." Frankie waved.  "Seems you need it."

Melody looked back out to the room feeling quite empowered.  Seems she
had the attention of everyone now.

Not wanting to waste the moment, Melody turned back to Cindy and drew
the sword out in front of her.  "You -" she growled as the crowd drew
back, "are temperamental, arrogant, rash, and entirely too bold. -- I
like that.  Reminds me of my mother."  Melody then saluted the Captain
with flair.

Cindy relaxed and even managed to smile.

Frankie, though, looked up at the girl shocked and whispered, "You're
mother is like all that?"

Melody turned her head and whispered back, "No, but she doesn't read
these now does she?"

"Fair enough," Frankie nodded.

Grey smiled at Pip.  "I think Melody found her courage," he commented.

"I think she might never let that sword go," Pip replied back.

"So, on to the business at hand," Melody began scooping up a napkin
and wiping the sword free of apple blood.  <g>

"Abigail!" she cried pointing the sword again.

"Why did I ever mention dishwashers?" Abigail muttered shaking her
head.  "Please put that thing away.  You are going to put someone's
eye out."

Melody bit her bottom lip but knew the woman was right.  "Alright,"
she obeyed and rested the sword back on her shoulder.  "You claim
Dishwasher!Dumbledore should of taken the MoM job for better
distribution of his defense.  He is more effective if he had more power."

"Yes," Abigail said a bit uneasy which is probably due to the fact
Grey was still cleaning his claws from his last round with dissenters.

"Tsk, tsk tsk.  Abigail.  That one is too easy.  I mean it maybe
because he does not like wearing trousers, or it maybe because he has
a *really* cool office at Hogwarts." Melody smiled.

"That is *no* reason to pass up the opportunity..." Abigail said in a
bit of outrage.

"I'm not finished," Melody sneered flexing her fingers over the sword.
 "T'was a joke, Abigail.  No, the 'real' reasons Dumbledore could of
had is obvious.  Well at least to me."  Melody let down the sword like
a cane and crossed her ankles.

"MoM is too in the spotlight.  Can't have a *secret* spy war if your
actions are being watched by red tape and cameras.  Every move
MoM!Dumbledore made would be broadcasted and even considered public's
right to know.  Hogwarts is protected.  A secret haven with access to
forest and lakes.  A much better defense than the busy political job
of MoM.  I mean what else does Dumbledore do as headmaster besides
give eccentric speeches and provide sleeping bags.  He has *a lot* of
free time that would not otherwise be available to him."

"Well, he *could* of been MoM for 10 years then came to Hogwarts for
Harry's education," Abigail said with arms crossed.

"Oh, that isn't the least bit suspicious and conspicuous," Melody said
sarcastically.  "Fudge takes over Dumbledore's job, only one for the
job it seems, and botches all that Dumbledore just did.  What would be
the point?  Then Dumbledore wasted 10 years there when in fact he had
just the same amount of influence as is implied with the daily owl posts."

"You're just speculating," Abigail shrugged.

"SO ARE YOU!" Melody cried raising her sword again.  "True, the only
thing we *know* on the issue are only told by Hagrid.  Dumbledore does
not want to leave Hogwarts, but Fudge still pelts him with owls
everyday.  I think it is in Ch 5 in the first book.  [ok, I know, but
in the bar I didn't]  Really all you *and* I are doing is speculation.
 Anything we say is not proof of anything."

Pippin, wanting to get Melody's sword far away from Abigail popped in
and said, "Hey, you have not address my question.  I asked, 'So, you
say that to disprove Dishwasher, we must disprove the arbitrary
negative assertion that the books don't prove that Dumbledore didn't
help bring about Voldemort's return?' **snip a bit** Dumbledore is at
liberty to reject the quasi-Utilitarian ethic which Grey Wolf ascribes
to him, no matter how popular it is among politicians, bureaucrats and
their employees."

Melody paused her sword mid air and turned her head towards Pippin.
"What the hell are you talking about?  Quit using big words."

Pippin sniffed.  "I use 'big words' because they capture the essence
of my inquiry exactly."

Melody jumped down from the bar resting her sword on her shoulder.
"Show off," she muttered as she passed Pippin.

"Well at least I can," Pippin quipped back.

Grey jumped between the girls.  "Mel, I'll take her.  You just -- calm
down a bit or I'm taking that sword away from you."  He grabbed Mel's
shoulders and turned her around.  "Come on Pippin, and you too
Abigail.  We need to sit down.  Calmly," Grey growled back at Melody,
"and get this all sorted out."  Grey took them over to a side table.

"Ok," Melody said quietly knowing she was a bit over zealous.  She had
really enjoyed that though.  Looking at the fire, Melody saw Eloise
sitting there quietly.  Bouncing over, Melody threw her arms around
Eloise's shoulders causing her to jump out of her chair.  "Thank you
*so* much on your moral explanation (1) in your post."

"Um, you're welcome," Eloise said as she turned her head to see who
*in the world* was interrupting her peace.

"It managed to explain in one paragraph what I had been trying to do
for the past two hours.  You are wonderful," Melody praised relaxing
her grip and standing back straight.

Looking around a bit more, Melody saw Roo as well.  She bounced over
to him, but he backed up and cowered against a corner (2).  "My TBAY
had nothing to do with MD, or at least it better not have."

Melody stopped and rocked on her heels frowning at the boy.  "No, it
doesn't.  I was just going to say I agree.  The love is pure magic.
Nothing else was needed.  That is why it is ancient.  Ancient often
means simple."

Roo grabbed his heart and smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're a bit paranoid, Roo," Melody observed with her eyes twinkling.

Melody sighed and scanned the room again.  She knew there were
arguments that should be presented and parts of MD that needed to be
explained further, but for now, she was enjoying the moment.


Melody
who shamelessly stole the 'apple bit' from "The Man in the Iron Mask",
but always loved the tension of the moment.

Plus I wanted a sword.  :)


(1) link to Eloise's reason for the hug
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/47121

(2) link to Roo's reason for cowering at me
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/47122