A little clarification on hurt feelings and flame wars

[Amanda]

No: HPFGUIDX 47196

*Amanda picks up her cane, creaks to her feet, and hobbles over to 
speak*

Having just proven that I can be a dry, droning manifestation over in 
TBAY, I shall now keep my hand in by being dry and droning over here 
for a little bit. I will claim a bit of privilege given my eons on
the 
list and discuss the list, not canon. Indulge me in this, and 
apologies to the listMods for this (and if any of you think we Old 
Guys don't get called on the carpet, think again).

Speaking as a humble but very, very, very, very old listmember, I 
think a little bit of clarification might be in order. First, 
definitions:

Person - a living, breathing, thinking, feeling carbon-based hominid 
lifeform. In this usage, refers to a listmember.

Theory - a collection of ideas assembled to explain something or 
other. Foundations can range from solid rock to sand to wispy vapor.

Please note that these are two completely different things.

Spirited list discussions and exchanges of opinion occur when
Theories 
are challenged, inspected, dissected, refuted, and otherwise chewed 
on. Flame wars, on the other hand, occur when People are chewed on. 
This can be a fine distinction, so for clarity's sake, two examples.

Non-TBAY example-
Discussion: "The theory that Snape might be part (or full) vampire 
holds absolutely no water. The canon support for it is shaky, there 
are already plenty of non- or partial humans worked into the story, 
and Snape has enough issues to deal with without involving his 
species. The themes of prejudice and bigotry have their main vehicles 
in Lupin, Hagrid, and the house-elves; Snape is the poster child for 
other themes in these books (choice, mostly-his own and Harry's
choice 
in his perception of him, and the repercussions thereof). The Vampire 
theory is just wrong. I wish it had never been proposed; I just know 
future books will destroy it and I can't wait.

Flame: "The theory that Snape might be part (or full) vampire holds 
absolutely no water. The people who think there is canon support for 
this should have their heads examined. Jeez. How could any 
right-minded person possibly think there's any basis to this theory? 
Get real. How many times do we have to explain to you fruit bats that 
Snape doesn't need to be a vampire for his character to be effective? 
etc."

See? The Discussion might seem a bit like an attack, and someone's 
feelings could be hurt, but it was not saying anything about the 
theory's authors or adherents. It was just blunt (and edging into 
rude; the point is that it is blunt and rude about a Theory).
Contrast 
it with the real Flame-potential in the second version, where the 
mental abilities, taste, etc., of People are questioned. That is over 
the line.

TBAY, now. TBAY is a sort of communal Pensieve where theories are 
objectified (or personified) and interact with the personas of 
listmembers. Any listmember can come in and play; once a theory is 
made, it takes on its own life and is fair game for the creative
minds 
of TBAYers. Because the theories have, in a way, been dissociated
from 
their creators (and in many cases nobody remembers who the creator 
is), and because many minds can contribute to the interactions, TBAY 
is fertile ground for the forming of new associations, ideas, and 
linkages. [Not to mention darned entertaining.]

As for a TBAY example, TBAY writing is difficult for me and I shall 
simply expound. In TBAY, discussion on theory often takes a more 
active and symbolic form. So someone could take a handcart and go get 
the MAGIC DISHWASHER and dump it in the Bay, or sneak aboard a ship 
and spike a cannon, or tar and feather George. These are theories., 
The appropriate response would be along the lines of commandeering a 
vessel to haul the washer out, cutting an anchor line, or casting the 
appropriate de-feathering spell (which, might, regrettably, have a 
side-effect on all the FEATHERBOAs). This is very, very different
from 
dumping Captain Cindy, Eloise, Roo, Abigail, Wolf, or any of the
other 
stalwart TBAY People into the bay or otherwise offering them harm.*

Please understand-I will be the first to admit that asking people to 
not identify with the theories they love is unrealistic, and I know 
that because "feelings" are in the People equation, sometimes they
can 
get hurt. All I am saying is that, in my opinion, when someone feels 
challenged or attacked by a post, they should read that post very 
carefully to make sure what it is actually targeting. 

Okay. I hope (a) that I made sense; (b) that I was right, and (c)
that 
NOBODY RESPONDS TO THIS ONLIST so I don't get Howlered for starting a 
non-canon thread. Yell at me offlist.

~Amanda

*this doesn't apply to dropping garlic-water balloons on 
Vampire!Snapetheorists, for complex and technical reasons which the 
constraints of space preclude me from sufficiently explaining here


--where did I put that handcart...?