[HPforGrownups] Thoughts on SHIPS

Tue Oct 1 05:20:51 UTC 2002

No: HPFGUIDX 44731

I have to weigh in on this discussion of SHIPS and
their importance to the HP series.

There seems to be a climate of dismissiveness toward
the development of romantic relationships amongst the
Hogwarts students -- specifically Harry, Hermione, and
Ron. The inference, it seems to me, is that these
types of relationships are trivial to the overriding
action of the books. I could not disagree more.
Indeed, I believe they will prove vital to the battle
against Voldemort, the development of the plot, and
the survival/redemption of many of the series'
characters. 

Perhaps Im a sappy sentimentalist, perhaps Im
reading far too much into the novels, but one of HPs
clear themes in the redemptive power of love (be it
parental, romantic, or platonic) and its strength to
survive and thrive in even the most horrendous
circumstances (i.e. Lilys love for Harry empowering
him long after her death). 

Had the love between Tom Riddles parents been strong
and true, muggle Tom Riddle Sr. wouldnt have
abandoned his witch wife and, perhaps, Voldemort may
never have existed. And what of Lucius and Narcissa
Malfoy. Do we get the sense that they feel honest
affection and love toward each other or that she is
simply his elitist trophy wife? Perhaps if they
exhibited true marital devotion to one another, Draco
would have grown into a more benevolent and brave
individual (although that is also due to his parents
skewed social ethics).

Lily and James Potter were surely surrounded by an
ever darkening and terrifying world when they attended
Hogwarts together (as they were killed only years
following their graduation). The threat may have been
more so menacing in light of Voldemorts apparent
targeting of the entire Potter clan. Yet, somehow, out
of thus climate of fear and danger, James and Lily
found each other, fell in love, and married not long
after leaving Hogwarts. 

If we are to believe romantic pairings are of
secondary importance in the HP lexicon, how do we
explain that this one example of true love  James and
Lily  is, in a sense, the basis of the entire HP
series. If James and Lily hadnt fallen in love, if
their greatest strengths and qualities had become one
in marriage, we would have had no Harry Potter. Harry
is the living representation of the romantic love that
existed between his parents. His power, skills, and
integrity are the manifestation of the combined
energies created by his parents union.

As much as one cant consider the romantic pairing of
James and Lily Potter trivial, I dont think its fair
for one to consider the pairings of Harry and his
contemporaries to be trivial. Dont get me wrong  Im
not at all interested in the series dissolving into
some silly teen Harlequin. In fact, it seems to me
that the these pairings will have far less to do with
drippy romance, than with the significance of two
people finding they can contribute something vital and
lasting to each other, something that will make them
stronger, braver, wiser, and more aware of their
potential as an individual. 

Im not sure if Im getting my point across as well as
Id like, but I think JKR often illustrates loves
ability to draw out the best within us and heal our
wounds. For example  and we know this will be a plot
line later on according to JKR  one wonders what kind
of man Snape would be if somebody, especially a love
interest, had shown him all-embracing affection and
acceptance. Though one has the impression that Snape
is not an evil man, hes irrefutably bitter and, one
senses, lonely. Would he still behave as venomously as
he does today if he had known the redemptive effects
of love? 

Ive said I believe Ron and Hermione will be
significant for one another because of what Hermione
can offer to Ron as a partner. I dont begin to
suggest that Hermiones only purpose in a relationship
with Ron  or in the books after that point  is to
become Rons savior. Not at all. However, Ron
obviously bears a great many self-esteem issues. Hes
so busy trying to measure up to everyone around him,
that hes completely lost sight of any positive
qualities he himself might possess. Hell never be
Charlie or Bill or Percy or Fred and George or Harry
or Hermione  and he shouldnt want to be. 

I think we all sense that were Ron to simply work on
being Ron, hed find he possesses strengths and skills
as formidable and valuable as any of the others with
whom hes constantly competing. But before any of that
can happen, he needs to find worth within himself.
Were Hermione to love him on his own merits, for
exactly who he is  faults and all, over anybody else
in his life, I believe it would be the first step in
Rons search for self-acceptance. 

Add to that the fact that, while Hermione gives her
love to Ron, she also continues to make him acutely
aware of any self-defeating, asinine behavior, I
believe Ron would slowly but surely find a true and
healthy sense of himself and begin to discover and
cultivate his own talents. At that point, once Ron
finds his footing, I believe well see a Ron and
Hermione who are equal and can share with and learn
from one another, thus creative a powerful and
productive partnership. 

Without this influence, Ive always thought Ron might
grow bitter and hateful and grow into someone quite
Snape-like. 

And though Harry has the loyal companionship of Ron
and Hermione, he still comes across as rather
melancholy, incomplete, and isolated. His infatuation
with Cho Chang rouses feelings of resentfulness and
spite toward Cedric Diggory. These are impulses that
are somewhat counter to Harrys usually good-natured,
fair-minded attitude  especially given the fact that
he generally feels no ill will toward Cedric. Harrys
abnormally bitter reaction to Cedric and his
relationship with Cho somewhat reminds me of the scene
in GoF when Harrys discussion with Sirius is cut
short by Rons unexpected appearance. Harry is
uncharacteristically livid, screams at Ron, and even
goes so far as to through one of the Harry Potter
Sucks buttons at him. Ron has struck a nerve -
Harry's desire and need for family - with Harry and it
causes him to do things  rather violent things  that
he would normally never do, especially to Ron. 

In a way, I think Harrys resentment toward Cedric and
Ron are related. Harry longs for love, affection,
understanding, and family. Having a girlfriend is
probably about the closest thing Harry could have for
a family (beside Ron and Hermione). After all, a
girlfriend can lead to love and love can lead to
marriage, which is the basis for family. Harry wants
to find someone special  someone he can call his own,
someone he can come to with fears and pain, someone
who will love him unconditionally and forever, someone
with whom he has a meaningful connection. With a
girlfriend, he could begin to piece together the
beginning of the family he so longs for. Again, am I
making any sense?   

Im not a believer that one needs a significant other
in order to achieve ones ultimate destiny, and I
dont fully believe thats what JKR is driving at.
However, the people in Harrys life clearly play a
large role in leading him in the right direction
toward self-actualization and helping him realize and
believe in the many strengths and qualities he
possesses. The final step in that journey is finding a
partner who not only encourages his continued growth,
but stands beside him with her own comparable power to
create a force of love will never die  just as the
combined strength of James and Lilys love lives on in
Harry and will reverberate forever through the
goodness of his actions.   

In the end, I believe the loving power and strength
created through these couplings will help them all --
together or seperately -- to form a formidable
alliance against Voldemort, who is at a distinct
disadvantage. As Dumbledore tells Harry in SS/PS:

"If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it
is love." (299)

One final note: A lot of anti-SHIP speculation seems
to center around the assumption that all of the dark
and terrible things beginning to escalate in the WW
would make infatuation/love/romance irrelevant or
unimportant to the characters. Im not so sure about
that. Ive done no research on this sort of thing, but
its always been my understanding that, when faced
with danger or crisis, many people tend to fall into
relationships. In those types of situations, emotions
are running high and people are scared. Fearing death,
some people confess to or act on feelings theyd
hidden or were unaware of in the past. Or they turn to
others for support and comfort and for the escape that
affairs or love can bring. 

And, also, were talking about teenaged kids. I
realize that Harry, at least, faces these threats with
a far greater level of immediacy, but bombs could have
been dropping around my high school and I still would
have been a bit fixated on falling in love and having
a boyfriend. I think its just the nature of
adolescence. I mean, how much of Anne Franks diary
was focused on WWII and how much was about her
relationship with Peter Van Daam? And she truly did
have bombs flying around her.  

-Jessica, who is an eternal big mouth 

=====
"Oh, I'll settle down with some old story/About a boy who's just like me/Thought there was love in everything and everyone/You're so naive!/After a while they always get it/They always reach a sorry end/Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then/With a winning smile, the boy/With naivety succeeds/At the final moment, I cried/I always cry at endings"
- "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying," Belle and Sebastian

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