[HPforGrownups] Re: Destiny, Truth

[Carol Bainbridge]

No: HPFGUIDX 43673

bugaloo37 wrote:

>I felt compelled to respond at this point on the issue
>of "purposing" and "manipulating".  IMO, everyone has a purpose in
>life.  Sometimes parents recognize and foster certain abilities in
>their children to prepare them for an uncertain future.

I would agree with you completely -- except that I'm a person who really 
doesn't subscribe to the "we have a purpose" in life philosophy.  Aside 
from that, I think you are right in what you say about manipulation.  I 
suppose people on the list can debate the semantics of "manipulation" 
versus "fostering, but there is clearly a difference and I'd say it's one 
of connotation rather than denotation.  Being frugal and being stingy refer 
to similar types of behaviors, but I'd rather be considered frugal than 
stingy.  The former is positive; the latter, negative.  Anyway, it seems to 
me that part of a parent's job is to "manipulate" a child into becoming the 
desired adult.  I like to think of it more as guidance myself.

I also think that manipulation indicates that you are attempting to get 
someone to do something that you really don't believe is the right 
thing.  For example, children try to manipulate adults in order to get 
something they know they shouldn't/aren't allowed to have or do something 
they shouldn't/aren't allowed to do.  The manipulator also gets something 
out of the manipulation, so it's a rather selfish act.  Most parents 
aren't, therefore, manipulating their children, nor is Dumbledore 
manipulating Harry in this way.

>However
>uncertain the future, we all know there are certain decisions that
>will have to be faced by all human beings.  As parents, we hope that
>the values we attempt to instill in our children will inable them to
>make the right decisions. Would you call this manipulation?  In the
>case of Harry, we know that for whatever reason Voldemort has
>obviously chosen him as a target.  IMO, at this point in time,
>Dumbledore is preparing him for his confrontations with Voldemort-
>which happen frequently.

That's exactly how I see it.  Preparing someone for a hazardous future is 
hardly what I'd call manipulation.  I don't even think it matters if that 
future is destined or not.  Preparation is just not the same as manipulation.

>Dumbledore promotes Harry's development of
>his unique abilitites in order to ensure Harry's own personal
>survival-if the WW is saved in the process-what is the harm?  I
>simply refuse to see this as manipulation.

Me either.  Actually, from what I've read, I think your view is the 
majority rather than the minority view.

>IMO, Dumbledore, Hagrid,
>McGonagall, Lupin, Sirius, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley - all have a
>genuine heartfelt concern for Harry's well-being.

And that doesn't fit in well with the idea of manipulation, does 
it?  That's part of the reason I can't see the treatment of Harry as 
manipulation.

Carol Bainbridge
(kaityf at jorsm.com)

http://www.lcag.org