Fantastic Beasts (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 43938

Fantastic Beasts 

(to the theme from Tiny Toons)

Hear the original at:

http://www.angel-hare.com/acorn/tta

Dedicated to Jenny of Ravenclaw

THE SCENE: An unplottable location. Enter a CHORUS of FANTASTIC 
BEASTS – at least one specimen of all the critters described in Newt 
Scamander's classic text

CHORUS
We're deadly, we're drastic, we're not yet sold in plastic
And we're so fantastic, a magic menagerie!
We'll give you hardcore wrecks, if we have five or four "X"
We'll tell you how to find us, though you may find you're sorry!

The Min'stry of Magic, here's a statement it released:
"Some we're seeing we'll call beings, `n' others we'll call beasts"
Our powers are super! We sing songs sung by Fwoopers!
Here comes the Erumpent, sirs! - fears should be increased!

It's Re' em (a large ox, it's Lobalugs and Porlocks
The Quintapeds all quarrel, Chizpurfles have such fangs
There's Griffins and Graphorns, and Dragons we call Longhorns,
Red Caps catch kappas and Jarveys all harangue!

We offer sans apology this magizoology
Newt Scamander's our commander since 1923
We gave him a few hex, he gave us five to two "X"
We're FANTASTIC BEASTS like Centaurs, Crups & Bundimuns!

Let's ev'ry  Muggle shun!


   - CMC

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