FILK: I Don't Like Spiders & Snape! was: Too good a line: Call for filk! wa

[snazzzybird]

No: HPFGUIDX 44201

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "Amanda Geist" <editor at t...> wrote:
> <snip non-filk-y discussion of the size of spiders in the trailer 
and the
> bowl of crisps on Snape's desk>
> *Amandageist pops in, in her Official Capacity, to warn the main 
list from
> responding on any of the above!!! This has been cross-posted from 
Movie, go
> *there* to talk about that stuff!! Or risk a water balloon.*
> 
> Okay.
> 
> I'm so crushed. I was certain, from the subject line, that this was 
going to
> be one of the most memorable filks yet. Who out there *didn't* read 
that
> line and hear the tune to "I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes"? Or am 
I the
> only one who remembers that very odd little song?
> 
> I'm cross-posting this to the main list so a broader audience will 
see that
> incipient line; surely some fertile and warped imagination can 
write this
> (Ron to be the singer, of course). Caius? Marina? You various
> interchangeable Ron people?
> 
> --Amanda

snazzzybird says...

Okay, how about this:  Year Two is nearly ended, the basilisk is 
dead, Ginny is safe, and Ron is telling some of the other Gryffindors 
about his adventures with Harry...

[to the tune of "Spiders and Snakes" by Jim Stafford]

I remember when Harry P said Let's go into the forest and see
What Hagrid wants us to know about
He said we just need to follow a trail
Of spiders, and then we won't fail 
To find out who's letting that monster out.

And so we took a stroll, wound up down by Aragog's hole, and I said
Something's got me by the shirt!
We got scared and we tried to run, Aragog said Well that's no fun
Said come home with me, and be my kids' dessert.

And I said,
"I don't like spiders and Snape
I'd rather kiss an ape
Than be here – with you
I don't like spiders and Snape"
We managed to escape
In the Anglia  – Me, Harry, and the boarhound too.

Well I hung out with Harry from time to time, I even helped him 
commit a crime,
And he said, Ain't this cool
But our adventure ended up in disaster, we got caught by the Potions 
Master,
And Snape said, I'll see you after school
Made me clean bedpans, all by hand
That was something I could hardly stand,
And he said, you missed a spot right here
I was nauseous as you might guess, still looking for a way to get out 
of this mess, 
And I said "Let's make it perfectly clear:

"I don't like spiders and Snape
I'd rather kiss an ape
Than be here – it's true
I don't like spiders and Snape
I wish I could escape
The dungeon – and this miserable job, and you."


Respectfully and humbly submitted,
snazzzybird, who once bought a house from a Realtor who dated Jim 
Stafford in Florida (or so she said).