The Dursleys WAS Re: single parents in HP

[bluesqueak]

No: HPFGUIDX 55384

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Gina Rosich <grosich at n...> 
wrote:
> --- bluesqueak <pipdowns at e...> wrote:
> 
> <snip>
> 
> The Dursley's definitely do not have a healthy family
> structure. 
> Vernon is a bully. Petunia smothers her natural son,
> and favours him 
> over her foster son (though she is more caring towards
> Harry than 
> Vernon is). Dudley displays many signs of being a
> deeply unhappy and 
> disturbed child. Harry is the family 'scapegoat'. 
> 
> ME:
> I definitely agree that the Dursley's are a deeply
> troubled family.  But, how exactly is Petunia more
> caring towards Harry than Vernon?  Or at least, less
> uncaring?  Because other than there being a
> personality difference, I don't see one as being any
> nicer or less nasty towards Harry than the other.
> 
> Gina

OK.

We are encouraged to see 'the Dursley's' as a unit by the narrative 
voice; this is Harry's pov, and Harry does appear to see the 
Dursley's as a unit.

There are in fact rather subtle differences between Petunia and 
Vernon.

Petunia feeds Harry. Not in the sense of necessarily doing the 
actual cooking - she's obviously taught Harry how to cook breakfasts 
[Ch. 2 of PS/SS]. But when Harry is locked in his room in CoS, it's 
Petunia who shoves food into his room. 

Earlier, when Petunia is incredibly angry at him for threatening 
Dudley with magic [CoS Ch.1], she makes sure Harry eats supper. It's 
a lousy supper (bread and cheese), but she makes sure he gets it.

So, however angry she is with Harry, Petunia makes sure her nephew 
is fed.  

Compare this with Vernon, who in PS/SS announces Harry's punishment 
by saying 'Go - cupboard - stay - *no meals*' [PS/SS Ch. 1 p. 26 UK 
paperback, my emphasis].

More speculatively, we are told Petunia is very houseproud, 
notices 'fingerprints on her gleaming walls' [GoF ch. 3] and is nosy 
(she spies on the neighbours in PS/SS and PoA). She is just the sort 
of person who would know exactly how much food is in her kitchen. 
But in PS/SS Ch.2, Harry plans to sneak to the kitchen at night for 
food. The suggestion is that he's done this before when Vernon has 
told him to go without meals. Is Petunia turning a blind eye to the 
missing food in the morning?

The person who puts clothes on Harry is Petunia.

In the physical sense - she is described as trying to force Harry 
into a hated jumper of Dudley's. She dyes clothes grey for him so 
he'll have a semblance of school uniform.

The person who makes sure Harry isn't left in the house alone is 
Petunia.

This is an interesting one. In Chapter 2 of PS/SS, Petunia is 
obviously completely unwilling to leave Harry in the house alone. 
Later, she's described as having in the past taken Harry shopping 
with Dudley. This is another example of her not wanting to leave 
Harry alone at 4 Privet Drive. She is, however, quite happy to leave 
Harry alone in their car at the zoo, and alone at King's Cross 
station. 

The words she uses when describing the possible consequences of 
Harry being left alone are :"...come back and find the house in 
ruins."

Later in PS/SS we discover that Harry's parents were murdered by 
Voldemort, and one of the consequences of this murder was that their 
house was in ruins. Hagrid also uses 'ruined', in an echo of 
Petunia's earlier words.

So what exactly is Petunia afraid of? Coming back and finding that 
Harry's damaged the house? That's what Vernon is afraid of with his 
new car 'That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone...' [PS/SS 
Ch.2 p. 22]. Or coming back and finding her house in ruins, but more 
importantly, her nephew murdered? 

The number of wizards who greet Harry when he is little (PS/SS Ch.2) 
suggests very strongly that the WW knows where Harry lives. And 
Petunia knows that. 

Until we find out what was in that dratted letter of Dumbledore's 
[grin] we won't know whether Petunia also knows that Harry is 
protected by a spell based on his relatives. We just know that she 
doesn't seem to want to leave Harry on his own at a place the WW 
knows he lives at.

She does also suggest writing to Hogwarts and telling them that 'we 
don't want ...' [PS/SS Ch.3 p.31]. What? Harry not to go to 
Hogwarts? Far from being glad to see the back of him, she actually 
doesn't seem to want Harry to enter the (highly dangerous) wizarding 
world. (You know, the one that killed her sister?)

Vernon perpetually threatens Harry with physical violence. He never 
canonically hits Harry [he just gets Dudley to do it for him]. 
Petunia doesn't threaten Harry. She does once, in canon, actually 
try to hit him.

This is in CoS, after Harry has threatened Dudley with doing magic. 
Petunia's sister was killed by magic. In GoF, when Mr Weasley aims a 
wand at her precious Dudley, Petunia screams and throws herself 
between Dudley and Mr Weasley [GoF Ch.4 pg 47-48 UK hardback]. 
Petunia is very frightened of magic.

So when Dudley tells her that Harry has done you-know-what at him, 
she 'aimed a heavy blow at his [Harry's] head with the soapy flying 
plan' [CoS p. 13 Ch. 1]. Immediately afterwards, she gives Harry a 
long list of jobs. The jobs are all outdoors, while Petunia stays 
indoors.

Is she trying to make sure that her nephew's safely out of her 
reach? Having got angry enough to nearly hit him, is she making sure 
that she has no chance to lose her temper with him again?

Again, compare this with Vernon, who repeatedly threatens Harry 
until GoF. By GoF, Harry has managed to come up with a bigger 
threat - his godfather Sirius. Vernon only stops when a bigger bully 
comes along. Petunia seems to try and stop herself.

Finally: the diet. When Dudley goes on a diet, in GoF, Petunia 
insists that the 'whole family' goes on the diet. She favours Dudley 
by making sure that Harry gets smaller portions. The interesting 
thing, however, is that however much she resents and dislikes Harry, 
she quite clearly sees him as part of the family.

So. Vernon is the 'active bully' in the Dursley-Harry relationship. 
Petunia seems to be the 'enabler' - she doesn't stop her husband 
bullying Harry. Vernon doesn't seem to have any real sense of 
relationship to Harry. Harry is a 'burden on his decent, hard-
working relatives' [actually, that's a quote from Aunt Marge, but 
Vernon seems to have pretty much the same opinion].

Petunia does seem to have a sense of relationship to Harry. Her 
nephew is fed, clothed, kept safe, educated. She just doesn't seem 
to be able to love him.

But like Snape, however much she doesn't love him, she has never 
wanted him *dead*.

That's just what Harry thinks. ;-)

Pip!Squeak (aka Pip)