Class (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 56138

Class 

To the tune of Class, from Chicago

Hear a MIDI at:

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/shows/chicago.html

NOTE: This song was not included in the theatrical film release of 
Chicago (I would imagine, in order to avoid an R-rating), but it is 
included in the soundtrack (as a duet for Velma Kelly and "Mama" 
Morton), so I expect it will be on the DVD release. 

Dedicated to Amy Z (but only if she promises not to send me poisoned 
honey through the mail)

THE SCENE: Late one night at Three Broomsticks. SNAPE & FILCH lament 
the passing of the good old days when students knew their place.

SNAPE: (spoken)
The wizarding world's gone soft. Things ain't what they used to be.

FILCH: (spoken, shaking his head sadly)
They sure ain't, Severus. They sure ain't. It's all gone.

(music)
Whatever happened to leg irons
And hot pokers
And things meaner?
Why can't the caretaker now still pursue and harass
The way we once did in class?

SNAPE:
Class.
Whatever happened to, "No mercy!?"
And "This may hurt?"
And "How chilling?"
Now, neither wizard or witch is allowed to amass
The things we once used in class
..

SNAPE & FILCH:
Class!
Now we've got gentlemen
Like Albus Dumbledore
He's forbid torture now,
And punishments hardcore
And we can neither flog nor scourge
Each lad and lass
It's never fun in class!

FILCH:
Whatever happened to cruel thumbscrews?

SNAPE:
And black bullwhips?

FILCH:
And good beatings?

SNAPE:
Now, we can only drop points when they're
Giving us sass
No torments happen in class
..

FILCH:
Class

SNAPE & FILCH:
Ah, there ain't no discipline
That gives to us delight
For a detention's not for one year
Just a night

SNAPE:
And if you try to tan a hide, they're all aghast

FILCH:
And if you try to tan a hide, they're all aghast

SNAPE & FILCH:
It isn't fun in class!

FILCH:
All the students here today love pranks and theft

SNAPE:
Merlin's beard, ain't there no dementors left?

SNAPE & FILCH:
It isn't fun in class!

SNAPE:
What a joy `twas to watch

FILCH:
Punks we'd take down a notch

SNAPE:
With a strap!

FILCH:
With a strap!

SNAPE:
Now it's lame

FILCH:
Oh so lame

SNAPE & FILCH:
What became of class?

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm