[HPforGrownups] Re: More on Dursleys

[Ladi lyndi]

No: HPFGUIDX 56309


--- Lea <d_lea25 at yahoo.ca> wrote:
<large snip>
> And now me:
> 
> I have to agree with Darrin on this one. I
> don't find Harry's situation with the Dursleys
> to be funny or exaggerated (on Harry's part). I
> believe the abuse is there - on more than one
> level - and I'm very relieved that Harry seems
> to have escaped their parenting skills. I am
> not sure why Dumbledore is of the belief that
> Harry is safer at 4 Privet Drive, personally I
> have my doubts.  
> 
> What is the legal age in England for leaving
> home?  In Canada it is 16. 
> 
> Lea (who is eagerly awaiting Harry's "coming of
> age" so he can tell the Dursley's exactly what
> he thinks of their loving "care", although he
> probably won't)

Me:

My turn to weigh in.  First, as to the abuse.  I
don't think it's funny either.  I think the
movies make Vernon and Petunia Dursley more
caricatures than the books do.  Why did Harry
turn out as he has?  Who knows. Character?  Let's
face it, many kids have grown up in an abusive
environment but still turn out well, many in
stark contrast to their abusers.  

I also think Dumbledore kept a close eye on Harry
and if he thought Harry was not able to handle
the situation, he would have stepped in - the
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger type of
thing.  All through the books Dumbledore gives
Harry the opportunities to handle things himself
and doesn't step in unless necessary, such as
when Harry believes in PoA that Snape would have
intentionally failed him without Dumbledore. 
Through the hardships Harry has been developing a
very strong character.

As for why the Dursleys took in Harry, Dumbledore
obviously told them the story since Petunia knew
how the Potters had really died.  It may well be
that Dumbledore also said in the letter that the
only way to keep Harry safe was for them to keep
him otherwise those who killed James and Lily
would come back to kill Harry.  Dumbledore
obviously had the key to Harry's vault and may
well have been sending money for Harry's upkeep
from there.  

I was thinking about whether Harry would have
been better off in the wizarding world than with
the Dursleys and I really don't think so.  I can
see one of two things happening to Harry if he
had grown up that way.  He could have either
grown up so pompous and arrogant as to be useless
or, the thing I tend toward given what seems
Harry's basic character, the enormous pressure he
would feel would have crushed him.  Look how Amos
Diggory reacted toward Harry because Cedric had
beaten Harry during a Quidditch match.  Even
without knowing the circumstances, he makes a big
point of saying beating Harry was something
Cedric would have to tell his grandkids.  Why
should it?  It was just a school Quidditch match.
 It just seems as if so many have placed such a
burden on Harry to be larger than life and have
abilities beyond his years.  So much more seems
to be expected of Harry even though rational
people would realize that a 1 year old couldn't
have brought Voldemort's downfall by himself. 
Besides, it doesn't appear that the WW has
orphanages, otherwise wouldn't Tom Riddle have
been in one rather than a Muggle one?

With regard to Harry telling the Dursleys what he
thinks of their 'loving care', well, he's already
started doing that, hasn't he.  In GoF, when
Vernon says something about clothing Harry, Harry
is quick to say that he's only given Dudley's old
clothes, pointing out a big lack in the Dursley's
care of him.

Lynn

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