Snape is NOT Sexy

Tue Apr 29 04:48:58 UTC 2003

No: HPFGUIDX 56418

Sarah (weeoo0) stated:

<Okay, I am not a regular poster on this list, as I often have a hard
time alearly and concisely getting my idea's accross, but as a recent
post brought up, quite innocently, a subject on which i have been
expounding much thought to in the last few days, and which i spen a
few hours wholeheartedly discussing as recently as yesterday, I
thought I would give it a go.

SNAPE IS NOT SEXY

That is correct, Severus Snape, Potions Master Extroardinaire, in all
his deep mysteriousness, in all his complexity, to the very depths of
his possibly tortured soul, vampire or not, good or bad, Severus
Snape, is not sexy.>

I say: 

Right on, weeoo0!  I have to say, this is a subject near and dear to my heart, as well.  I find the idea incomprehensible in the extreme.  In fact, I've made my own acronym to the effect:

S.L.Y.T.H.E.R.I.N.S.: Snape Looks Yucky!  Total Heresy to Equate with Rickman - Interesting, but Not Sexy!!!

melclaros wrote:

Sarah replied:  

<snip canon descriptions of Snape in all his ugliness>

I say:

You forgot one.  in PoA, chapter 14, US paperback page 285, JKR indicates that his lack of hygiene is not limited to hair, but extends to teeth:

"Snape's uneven, yellowish teeth were bared."

Combine that with the expressions he is described as wearing: at most times, a scowl or snarl.  Even when he does smile, JKR uses phrases such as "horrible smile" (284) and "terrible grin" (285).  Charming, indeed.

Sarah continued:

<Now, I simply am unable to see how such a person is considered so
...sexy .....

okay, okay, yes that is just his physical description, sallow greasy,
a hooked nose, but mum always said, it's what's inside that counts.

Yet still i hav a hard time understanding the intimite attraction of
Snape who is, despite any possible need to present a certain persona
in front of certain company, a nonetheless, spiteful, bitter,
sarcastic, man.

And is that what drives it, is it his bitter side that makes him
attractive? The ultimate veil of possible evil which hang over his
sallow thin hooknosed greasy head?>

I say:

I don't know.  I've never really found hateful, spiteful, or sadistic people sexy.  Some people might like the thought of redeeming the evil among them, but I've always figured, "eh, too much effort."  Besides, someone (most likely the redeemer) could get hurt.

Sarah continued insightfully:

<Because if that is the case, I ask, why not Filch, is Filch sexy?  He
is bitter, spiteful, and hell, he is even capable of love, look at how
well he cares for his Mrs. Norris.  The man was absolutely gobsmacked
when his precious was heart in CoS, he was furious, I mean to say, who
can't love a man with such an affinity for an animal right?!

And yet, Filch is not sexy, and in fandom far and wide, despite some
of the curious ships you might find in some fanfics, the sexyness of
Filch is one i rarely (never) have come accross!>

I pause, shudder, and let Sarah continue:

<So why is it that Snape is sexy?  Is it simply a case of movie
contamination, of Rickmania, whom I have heard women, and some men,
tote to be "the sexiest voice ever"?

Is it fanfiction?  has fanfic created a grey area between canon and
fanon, whereby Snape is now a character of sexual fantasy and
discourse.  Is Fanfiction to blame?  Or is it merely an outlet?>

I reply:

This is my personal theory.  I think that most Sexy-Snapers have been either consciously or subconsciously influenced by fanfiction or TMTMNBN I and II.  Rickman is a great actor, and he plays the part quite well, but I don't think he's quite, well, UNPLEASANT enough for Snape.  This is a guy whom most students hate after their first class - well, unless they're Slytherins...

Sarah concludes:

<I personally feel that Snape is one of my favorite characters.  I love
that he is mean, that he is sarcastic, and bitter, and spiteful, and
humourless, and dark, and sallow skinned and hooknosed and greasy.  I
like that he is horrible to the kids, shows blatant favortism, was a
DE, but fights for the good.  I Like Snape, he's great!  

But Sexy?  Certainly NOT!>

I conclude as well:  

Amen, my sister.  He's a very mysterious, intriguing character - the type I myself love to hate.  He's the "teacher you can't stand" that everybody seems to have at one time in their life.  He's surely got a big future in the books some way or other; his narrative value is incredible.  As a character in a book, I love him and I hope he'll be around 'till book 7.  As a person and/or a teacher, I want to fire him, covere him in bobotuber pus, and punch that crooked nose 'till it's straight in the other direction.  My dislike aside, I just can't see him as sexy.  not one bit.  Weeoo0, you and I shall wear our S.L.Y.T.H.E.R.I.N.S. badges with pride.  ::puts on a green flashing S.L.Y.T.H.E.R.I.N.S. badge::  

Hobbit-guy, who's actually usually thought of himself as a Hufflepuff, but whatever...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You haven't been getting into the Gaffer's home brew again, have you?"
"No... Well, yes, but that's beside the point."
-Frodo and Bilbo Baggins, Fellowship of the Rings Extended Edition DVD