FILK - House of Black

[Wendy St John]

No: HPFGUIDX 74830

"House of Black" - part of the "Hogwarts Story" musical extravaganza.
An OoP filk to "America" from the stage production of "West Side Story"

(Note - I'm being shameless in using the version of each song which best
suits my needs, so parts of "Hogwarts Story" are based on
lyrics/arrangements from the stage production, while parts are based on the
movie. I will make note of which is which in the future). 

(Scene: At 12 Grimmauld Place, where Sirius bemoans the fact that he is
forced to stay in his childhood home.)

MOLLY:
12 Grimmauld Place,
Our lovely safe house . . .
So what if it's not such a clean house?
Safe for the Order to meet here
We can rest and kick up our feet here . . .

SIRIUS: 
12 Grimmauld Place,
Our "lovely" safe house,
It is such a musty and grim house.
Always my usefullness doubting.
Always the insults my mum's shouting.
And the house elf pouting.
And the snuffbox biting.
And the doxies fighting.
This place is just so depressing,
My mental health is regressing!

Everything sucks in the House of Black.
There's grime and muck in the House of Black.
I hate being stuck in the House of Black.

HARRY, RON & HERMIONE:
Down on his luck in the House of Black.

SIRIUS:
I want to go somewhere brand new.

MOLLY <shaking her head>:
Ministry's still looking for you.

SIRIUS:
I'd hoped that Harry could stay here . . . 

HARRY <shaking his head>:
Won my hearing, so my name's clear.
 
SIRIUS:

I hate to be in the House of Black.
It's so gloomy in the House of Black.
Got no roomie in the House of Black.

REMUS <raising eyebrows>:
What about me in the House of Black?

GEORGE & FRED:
Here you are safe from the Dark Lord.

SIRIUS <shrugs>:
Safe to do nothing but be bored.

GINNY:
My mum provides us with good food.

SIRIUS:
*MY* mum's always in a foul mood.

GEORGE:
Doxies have nests in the House of Black.

FRED:
Boggarts in desks in the House of Black.

GINNY:
Kreacher's a pest in the House of Black.

REMUS:
Safety's the best in the House of Black.

(An interlude of dancing)

SIRIUS:
Kreacher I can't stand to be near.

HERMIONE <glaring>:
It's not his fault he's enslaved here.

SIRIUS:
This place is driving me crazy!

SNAPE <spoken with a sneer>:
Just your excuse for being lazy.

(SIRIUS AND SNAPE drawn their wands simultaneously)

HERMIONE:
Terrible scene in the House of Black.

RON:
Portraits all scream in the House of Black.

HARRY:
I have weird dreams in the House of Black.

SIRIUS <angrily>
I can't be seen from the House of Black.

(An interlude of more dancing)

SIRIUS:
I'm going with Harry to King's Cross.

HARRY:
But if you're caught, could be big loss.

SIRIUS:
Padfoot is a perfect disguise.

MOLLY <rolling her eyes>:
Come if you must, though it's not wise.

(dancing continues as they all head out the door on the way to catch the
Hogwarts' Express)


And, for those who are still in a musical mood, please join me in singing:

Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday dear Wendy!
<four part harmony>
Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, I missed sharing Harry's and JKR's birthday by just one day. I've
never minded much, though, as my birthday *is* a witchy holiday in the
real-world (Lammas). Spent the day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium (fantastic
jellyfish), and got a really cool Evenstar necklace from hubby and son, so
now I can pretend to be an elf if I want <g>. 

:-)
Wendy

Wendy St John
hebrideanblack at earthlink.net