emotional rescue

[jwcpgh]

No: HPFGUIDX 74885

This is my first post to this list-I hope it's okay.

There was a discussion going on a few days ago regarding Sirius's 
emotional state in OoP and Dumbledore's behavior regarding that 
situation.  One thing that struck me in both books 4 and 5 was that 
the feelings of characters who have gone through terrible ordeals are 
pretty much neglected by everyone around them.  Harry, after his 
return from the cemetery in book 4, so desperately needs to cry about 
what has happened to him.  Molly makes a good attempt by hugging him, 
but Hermione bursts into the room and that's the end of that.  Molly 
doesn't try to pursue it then or later, as far as we know.  
Dumbledore is right to get Harry to talk about what happened (even if 
he does have multiple reasons for obtaining the information), but he 
leaves Harry to deal with the trauma on his own.  Even Sirius, who 
clearly cares deeply about Harry, can provide no more than a hand on 
Harry's shoulder while Harry tells his story.  So book 4 ends without 
Harry really finding the support he needs.  And then he goes back to 
Privet Drive and his friends promptly stop any meaningful 
communication (for good reasons, but still).  So if depression is 
anger turned inward, maybe in this case, Harry's anger is at least 
partly depression turned outward.  

And then there's Sirius.  I think Dumbledore fails him greviously, 
and Lupin (who's really a dear, I think) could have done better too.  
The pattern I see here is that people just don't express their 
feelings, and I wonder if that has something to do with the British 
character.  My impression (and please correct me if I'm wrong about 
this) is that the stiff upper lip is still valued in Britain, as 
opposed to here in the States, where it's all venting all the time to 
anyone who will listen.  There's surely a healthy middle ground, and 
that would include trying to relieve the obvious suffering being 
experienced by people close to you.  It just makes me ache when I 
read that scene with Molly and Harry at the end of book 4, or just 
about anything Sirius says in book 5.  It's no surprise that Harry 
and Sirius make some questionable decisions, given the emotional 
instability they were experiencing.  Harry will have a chance to come 
to terms with everything that's happened to him in the last 2 books, 
and I hope he finally gets some support in that.  But poor 
Sirius...what a sad life.