Phoenix Song & There's No Redemption (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 75215

Sondheim songs are usually difficult to filk due to their length and 
their intricate rhythms and rhyme schemes. One exception is The 
Cookie Song, a four-line ditty sung by the clientele of Dr. Detmold's 
Sanitarium for the Socially Pressured (aka The Cookie Jar)

The Phoenix Song

To the tune of The Cookie Song (I'm Like the Bluebird) from 
Sondheim's Anyone Can Whistle

HARRY:
I'm like the Phoenix
I dissolve in smoke and ash
When I let my temper flash
I'm like the Phoenix

.

OK, now here's a full-length filk from the same musical. This was 
inspired in part by the Nimbus 2003 panel discussion "Can Draco Be 
Redeemed?" held on July 18. I dedicate this to the anti-redemption 
members of that panel, as well as to fellow-Sondheim fans Lori & JDR

There's No Redemption

To the tune of There Won't Be Trumpets from Sondheim's Anyone Can 
Whistle

THE SCENE: Divination Class, at the beginning of Year Six, with 
TRELAWNEY back on the job. Before the startled Gryffindor class, she 
suddenly goes rigid in her armchair, her eyes roll & unfocus, her 
mouth sags, as she begins to speak in a deep harsh voice, quite 
unlike her own: Yes, Sibyll is about to deliver her third Genuine 
Prediction!

TRELAWNEY:
That bad little boy in his bad little dorm
He forgot one thing:
This story isn't his by a long shot yet!
There are heroes in these books
Saviors and heroes in these books
Not one of them's named Draco
There's no way!
There's no way!

There's no redemption, no sudden plot twist
To show he's changing.
No new nuances, no clues that we've missed,
No cataclysmic Banging.
He will not be the catalyst.
One-dimension, he's a foil
For young Potter, just the same as Crabbe and Goyle.

But no redemption in scenes dramatic
Or swift conversion.
He won't develop, he remains static,
There's no upgraded version.

Fans may say, wait another year
He has two more books to go
But our Draco, 
Hasn't he shown he cannot grow?

Don't look for shipping or slashing romance
To help redeem him!
He won't win Hermy, and Harry – fat chance -
No tryst in leather jeans, then.

I know when, I know where,
So I won't even say don't ask us!
What I know is, that git will not trek 
Towards Damascus!
He won't be redeemed!
There's no redemption!
For damned Draco!

(After coming out of her trance, TRELAWNEY awards 10 points to 
Gryffindor in appreciation of the standing ovation they give her.)

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm 
(updated 8/2/03 with 65 new filks)