[HPforGrownups] Re: SHIP: Harry and Cho

[Nintendo]

No: HPFGUIDX 75809

From: "feetmadeofclay" <feetmadeofclay at yahoo.ca>
Sent: Wednesday, August 06, 2003 4:21 PM
Subject: [HPforGrownups] Re: SHIP: Harry and Cho

> GOLLY: I'm not sure I understand.  It is not about romantic
> experience.  So yes, perhaps speaking about Hermione to Cho was a bad
> move if your girlfriend has the self esteem of a mouse...(as Rowling
> so gently informed us) but my comment has nothing to do with dating.

It is not a question of self-esteem. Saying you're going to meet a girl
during Valentine's Day in a cafe has a lot of meaning. Cho had no way of
knowing this was a "work" meeting, plus it would be reasonable for her to
wonder if they have a romantic attachment, present or past (Rita's articles,
they DO spend a lot of time together). Had Harry had some more experience,
he would have know what he might be implying and could have worded things
better.

> I don't think you need experience to be kind to your girlfriend even
> if she is your first!  Harry never had a friend before Hogwarts and
> he managed to be very nice to Ron right off the bat.  In fact he's
> nice to Hermione all the time. (Ok, most of the time.  But he still
> treats her like a person and not an object.  He knows about her
> interests and she about his)

I think you'd agree that romantic relationship are much more complicated and
less natural to manage than friendships. Harry was trying to be his nicest,
but most of the time he simply didn't know what to do. Harry gets along with
Cho perfectly when keeping things at friend level (talking about Quidditch,
DA lessons, etc.).

> I don't expect deep soul discussions here. I don't expect the wooing
> of a Don Juan. All I ask is some attempt on Harry's part.  Some
> interest in Cho as a person.  He has none and then he behaves like a
> jerk when she turns out to be less than perfect.

I think you're being unfair to Harry here. There is nothing to show his
actions have a selfish motive. Actually, during the whole book, he asks
NOTHING of her. His main concern is to keep her happy. His less-than-stellar
performance is due to situations he didn't expect and didn't know how to
handle.

> You don't need romantic experience or a TV example to treat people
> nicely.  Otherwise, how did Harry come to Hogwarts so nice?

Again, what would be nice for a friend, may not be enough for a girlfriend.
A person usually gives nicer presents to his/her romantic partner than to
the rest of his/her friends. You can not see your friends for a couple
months and retake the friendship later, but this would be significant stress
for a romance. Harry knew how friendship works (at the very least, he could
see friends interacting in primary school) but has no way of knowing what is
expected of him as a boyfriend. I'd be pretty disappointed if a date of mine
acted only like my best friend and never crossed that line.

> Nintendo:
> > On a different yet related topic, I'd like to point out that
> while Cho's change in personality might be justified, I believe
> it could have been more subtle or shown more gradually. It would
> have made it more believable and better written. Now, we may
> never be sure of what was Cho's true self before Cedric's death
> or if she was truly attracted to Harry instead of just chasing
> him for his connection to Cedric. >>>
>
> GOLLY: I don't think it was a change in personality. I think the
> point was that she was always weak and shallow - when tested she
> shows her stripes.

I really doubt so. A shallow girl wouldn't have worried much about an old
boyfriend when she's dating the most famous boy in school. A weak girl
wouldn't have been able to handle the stuff she's going thru without
anyone's help and kept it inside herself for so long.

Then again, if Rowling had portrayed her in OotP to my liking, this wouldn't
be a debatable point.

>  Harry just didn't know her. It was a shallow
> hormonal thing he's now beyond.

That hardly seems to be the message Rowling is giving. He doesn't suddenly
develop an interest for mature and ugly girls. It seems more like Sirius'
death make him think there are more important things than dating. I wouldn't
call ANYONE's first love a "shallow, hormonal thing".

> GOLLY: My friends and I have started calling Ravenclaw "The Slutty
> House".  We think secretly they are not just intelligent but sex-
> driven as well.  A Paglian house of sexual power!

Great. After half the series, we finally are in the spotlight only to be
labeled "easy-to-get" people. I will have to remember to send Rowling a
howler. Look, we can't help if all the Gryffindors are googling over our
natural and spontaneous (since we bookworks don't have time to dress up,
unlike those leather-wearing Slytherins) charm. ;-)

    -- Nintendo
        Proud Alumni of
         ~ Ravenclaw ~ (a.k.a. Gryffindors' Dating Service)