FILK: Statues in the Fountain

[catherinemckiernan]

No: HPFGUIDX 77312

A filk to the tune of Three Coins in the Fountain

The foyer of the Ministry of Magic. Cornelius Fudge has swopped his
green bowler for a lilac trilby and stands holding a microphone trying
to look debonair and cool. Suddenly the lights dim, all save a single
spotlight on Fudge and the pink glow that leaps up around the fountain
itself, so that it seems to be flowing with fizzy rosé wine. Fudge
taps the microphone, the violins ripple and he begins to croon... 

FUDGE
Statues in the fountain
Demonstrate our wizard pride.
House-elf, centaur and sexpot (coughs) witch,
Standing by her wizard's side.

Statues in the fountain, 
Show us all how things should be.
Symbolised in the fountain; 
The order of our Ministry.

The scene is interrupted as Bellatrix Lestrange dashes into the foyer,
hotly pursued by Harry Potter. Fudge watches aghast was they are
joined first by Lord Voldemort and then by Dumbledore and proceed to
blast the fountain into smithereens. Closer observers will notice that
his horror does not prevent him loosening his tie a bit as he watches
the witch pin down the writhing Mrs Lestrange. 

Bugger! Where's the fountain gone?
Bugger! Where's the fountain gone?

DUMBLEDORE
Statues in the fountain,
Show a world built on a lie.
We must recognise each other talents
Or surely we're all gonna die.

VOLDEMORT (with DEATH EATER CHORUS)
That's bad, why?
That's bad, why?
That's bad, whhhyyy?

Catherine McK