My Homework (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 77972

I feel a bit bad filking this tune right after Mariner's brilliant 
filk on the same song (see #76159), but I was moved by the fact that 
HARRY, in addition to all the extraordinary challenges facing him, 
has also to deal with that most mundane of academic trials, namely 
HOMEWORK! 


My Homework

To the tune of Tom Lehrer's My Home Town 

Dedicated to Mariner 

See the original text and hear a MIDI at:

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/hometown.htm

THE SCENE: Gryffindor Common Room. Enter HARRY, in an intensely 
anxious state

HARRY:
This year I have my OWLS
Should I throw in the towel?
Our teachers have all proven to be jerks
They have dispensed a mega-monumental mass
As my homework.

I cannot help but snore
Before that ghostly bore
Who turns all history to utter murk
And he's assigned another 27 scrolls
As my homework

I remember Snape
Potions was always dreadful and 
And it always left my head full
At the end
And there's a branch of magic they call Occlumency
That Snape wants in my brain
I just wish that man felt pain

Professor Minnie M
Will curse like Eminem
If Transfiguration lessons you dare shirk
So after 4 a.m. I'm still transforming cushions
For my homework

Sibyll demands journals
On dreams that we recall
As Umbridge over every lesson lurks
(Shall I – no, I think I've had enough detention)
As my homework

And there's also Charms, a class long-taught by Filius
He was never supercilious
Oh no
He showed us just precisely how to hush a crow 
But mine still gives a caw
I say there oughta be a law
..

My teachers have a scheme 
To stop outlandish dreams
It's working, though it's driving me berserk
If I don't sleep then I can never dream at all,
Thanks to homework!
 
    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm