FILK: Salazar S. Slytherin

[Susan Miller]

No: HPFGUIDX 78599

After spending a wonderful evening with the filkers at Nimbus, I knew 
I would have to tiptoe into the world of filking other than as an 
observer. This is to the tune of Johnny Mercer's Jubilation T. 
Cornpone from Lil Abner. You can hear a snippet of the great Stubby 
Kaye singing the original at http://www.johnnymercer.com/listen.htm

Salazar S. Slytherin

When a thousand years ago young wizards needed to grow
Who was there to slam the door and leave them out in the snow?
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; Old "I Hate Children"
Salazar S. Slytherin, He gave them the heave-ho.

His three best friends decided that the time for Hogwarts was here.
Who agreed provided that requirements were made clear?
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; "Don't Let the Impure In" 
Salazar S. Slytherin, Eugenics Pioneer.

The first Hogwarts Express arrived on Hogwarts opening day.
Who ensured they made the trip the hardest possible way?
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; Old "No Apparatin' In"
Salazar S. Slytherin, he jinxed the place that day!

HURRAY!

Ambition, drive and cunning guile, he thought those traits were the 
best
Who kept these students for his house and promptly shunned all the 
rest?
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; Old "Protect your own skin"
Salazar S. Slytherin, he got the cagey-est.

With students walking all above with nare a thought to the risk, 
Who built a dungeon in a loo to keep a pet basilisk?  
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; Old "Snakey and Witherin'".
Salazar S. Slytherin, a Parseltongue linguist.

When Hogwarts opened up its doors to all without his consent, 
Who got his shorts bunched in a knot and took his marbles and went? 
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; Old "Sulky and Ditherin'."
Salazar S. Slytherin, The Heir will soon be sent!

FINALE:

Though he's gone to his reward, his mighty torch is still lit.
First in line. First to whine. First to holler, "I quit!"
Why it was Salazar S. Slytherin; The hero of little men,
Salazar S. Slytherin, he came, he saw, he split.


Constance Vigilance, ickle firstie filker