It's A Scandal! He's Underage! (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 79145

It's A Scandal! He's Underage! (GoF, Chap. 17-18)

The fifth A!Kedavra Filk to the tune of It's A Scandal! It's An 
Outrage! from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Oklahoma!

Dedicated to Melody

THE SCENE: A room adjacent to the Great Hall, immediately after the 
Goblet of Fire ceremonies. The anti-Potter forces are in high dudgeon 
over Dumbledore's decision to let Harry compete in the TriWiz games. 
The song begins with the quartet of MADAM MAXIME, FLEUR DELACOUR, 
IGOR KARKAROF & SEVERUS SNAPE furiously pacing the floor.

MAXIME: Betrayed!
FLEUR: Deceived!
KARKAROF: Bamboozled!
SNAPE (imploring the silent heavens): Curses!

MAXIME (music, to the reader): 
So, what's on our minds?
Why do we pace 
Around and around
With our wands
All misaligned 
And our chins scrapin' our gowns?

KARKAROFF (spoken)
Several days ago we all went overseas
Boarding our ship `cross the ocean mild
Ev'ryone laughin', ev'ryone smiled:
For the Tri-Wiz Match!

Several hours ago I was so very pleased!
Our three schools together to contend
Just strutting my stuff, seeing old – uh - friends
Hey, I'm a happy Wiz

(music) I'm doing Durmstrang business like I oughter
Cheerin' for our champion Viktor Krum
But there's this name, a certain Harry Potter
And then: the odds against us change to three to one

SNAPE: 
It's enough to make a Potions Prof resign
One more Potter, like his father, crossing lines

(Enter CHORUS OF DURMSTRANG & BEAUXBATON STUDENTS)

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF, SNAPE & CHORUS
It's scandal! He's underage!
But Dumble's going to let him still play!

CROUCH SR. & BAGMAN
Although you want him off the TriWiz game
There's this binding magic contract
>From our Goblet of Flame.

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF & CHORUS
It's a scandal! He's underage!
At the apple, Hogwarts will bite twice
Dumbly's age restriction line did not serve to repel
That horrid little Potter boy who's slick as hell

It's a scandal! He's underage!
Don't let little boys compete!
We must revive the old traditions
And plan unceasingly to cheat!

MAXIME: Not me!

KARKAROFF: Me too!

BAGMAN (aside) Don't say that here!

SNAPE
It's scandal! Daddy's image!
Just a day in the life of that berk
Ego trip for that drip breaking every rule
Who for just a thousand galleons is selling out our school

MOODY
It's a scandal! I take umbrage!
Harry Potter could not this deed do.

Dark forces prowling everywhere and evil plots they build
The goal that they are working on is getting Potter killed

(Enter DRACO and a CHORUS OF SLYTHERIN, HUFFLEPUFF & RAVENCLAW 
students)

DRACO (passing out badges)
It's a scandal! So wear our badge!
Cedric playin' the Slavs and the French
It's time we made some retribution
Against Harry and his foul stench

DRACO
"Potter Stinks" badges, ah!

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF, SNAPE & BOTH CHORUSES 
"Potter Stinks" badges, ah!

DRACO
C'mon, ah!

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF, SNAPE & BOTH CHORUSES
Ah!

DRACO
Ah!

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF, SNAPE & BOTH CHORUSES
Ah!

DRACO
Retribution! 

MAXIME, FLEUR, KARKAROFF, SNAPE & BOTH CHORUSES
Retribution!

It's a challenge we must face
We gotta make a resolution
That Potter will be in disgrace!

It's a scandal, he's underage!
Once more Potter's way off track

DRACO
Look there he is! 

ALL (to HARRY):
We've got the answer 
Just go away and don't come back!

   - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
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