(FILKS) Two More Little Shop Filks (Long)

[Gail Bohacek]

No: HPFGUIDX 86599


I'll Give You Help  *and* Potter/Git Him

(Two filks to the tunes of _Mushnik and Son_ and _Feed Me / Git It_ from the musical _Little Shop of Horrors_)

The song _Mushnik and Son_ is my favorite one out of this whole musical, but unfortunately there isn't a Midi for it.  You can find a Midi for _Feed Me_ here:  http://addagirl.com/littleshop.htm


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(End of filk _Harry Stoled the Show_ http://home.att.net/~coriolan/muscial/tournament.htm#Harry_Stoled_The_Show )

(During the audience applause, Alicia, Katie,  Angelina, Ron and Hermione stand around Harry and congratulate him.  Enter from stage right several Goblins who pantomime a heated conversation with Bagman who tries to remain calm.  The Goblins exit.  Bagman looks nervous and listens in on the students talking. )

Ron:  What is this Egg, Harry?

Harry: It's supposed to give us a clue for the Second Task.

Hermione:  Well, you should work on finding that clue as soon as possible!

Ron: Get off it, Hermione, Harry has plenty of time.

Angelina: Besides, we have a celebration waiting for Harry up in the Gryffindor Common Room.  Everybody is waiting for us...let's go!

(All the students start to exit, stage left.)

Bagman: Harry!

(All students, except for Harry exit)

Harry:  Sir?

Bagman: (Putting on the smarm):  Harry!

(Cue music for  _I'll Give You Help_)

How would you like to have some help?
How would you like for me to tell you what is next?
(He has to win Tasks Two and Three
Because I lost a gambl'ng spree
Now the Goblins want their money)
Say yes

Harry:  Who me?

Bagman:  Harry, I want to see you win
I want to see you holding up the Winner's Cup

Harry: But what about Ced, Krum and Fluer?
Perhaps your motives aren't that pure
I'm not too sure I want your help

Bagman:  Don't be demure, just take my help
If you want help, just ask
You'll get past the Second Task
Then in glory you will bask, Harry

This way you'll win with ease
Accept, don't reject me please
For Hogwart's you'll seize the victory

Now don't you worry, I'm a Judge
If you take my offer
Then I will glady show
And when I do, you'll have a leg
Up on what is inside that Egg
So let me assist

Harry:  I don't know...

Bagman:  Bagman will give this clue
Because I really like you
And all you have to do is just yelp
I swear that my motives
Are nothing but positive

Harry:  I'm indecisive

Bagman: Don't be unsportive

Harry: (Boy, he's assertive!)

Bagman (Harry): I'll (He'll) give you (me) help!


(Bagman tangos off stage right)

(Cue music for _Trouble Seems_)

Harry: Trouble seems to pursue me
Everything happens to me
I don't know why, but it always ends up that way

They call me a Champion
I just wish I could be done
Then my life would return to normal
But until then, I'm told I must play

(spoken as lights dim, spotlight on Harry):  That First Task was really dangerous.  Maybe Moody is right...maybe somebody *is* out to get me.  I keep remembering that dream I had...back at the Dursley's...

(curtain rises to reveal the room at the Riddle Manor.  Baby!Mort (played by a puppet, of course)  is sitting on a high backed chair and Wormtail is standing close by)

...it seemed so real.  A small man called Peter, nicknamed Wormtail...and a cold, high voice...the voice of Lord Voldemort...there were talking about someone they had killed...and they were plotting to kill someone else...me.  I remember Wormtail said:

Wormtail:  Your Lordship is still determined, then?

Voldemort:  Certainly I am determined, Wormtail.

Wormtail (spoken in a rush): It could be done without Harry Potter, my Lord.

Voldemort: Without Harry Potter? I see...

Wormtail:  My Lord, I do not say this out of concern out of the boy!  The boy means nothing to me, nothing at all! It is merely that if were were to use another witch or wizard - any wizard - the thing could be done so much more quickly!  

Voldemort:  I need blood!

Wormtail:  But, my Lord...

Voldemort:  Must be *his*!

Wormtail:  I don't think it's a good idea...

(Cue music for _Potter / Git Him_)

Voldemort:  Potter!

Wormtail (spoken) Does it *have* to be Harry?

Voldemort:  Potter!

Wormtail (spoken) It could be anyone!

Voldemort: Potter!

Wormtail:  (spoken) How are we supposed to get him?

Voldemort:  Potter, Wormtail, he's the one I need
That's right, Pete!  Gotta git him!
Potter, Wormtail
Want to see him bleed (Bwha, ha, ha, ha!)
'Cause with Potter's blood, Wormtail
All of my plans will succeed

Wormtail: (spoken): If you allowed me to leave you for a short while I could be back here in as little as two days with a suitable person -

Voldemort : (spoken)  Hmmm....could this suggestion of abandoning the plan be nothing more than an attempt to desert me?

Wormtail: (spoken) No!  My devotion to your Lordship!

Voldemort:  (spoken) Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice!  Silence!  I have my reasons for using the boy, Wormtail, and I will use no other.

(singing): Thirteen years I've waited for this
Powers gone and bodiless
Only one thing has given me solace
That I'll git him (mmmmm!)

Add father's bone to the potion
Then flesh offered in devotion
His blood will set things in motion
We have to git him!

Defeated by mother's love
This is what I learned
Curse deflected by him, but
Somehow I survived
Though I was barely alive
But pretty soon they'll know that I've
Returned!

Come on, Wormtail, don't be a schlemiel
Everything is perfect and the timing's ideal
Better find some courage or my wrath you will feel
We will git him!

Wormtail (Voldemort, spoken):  But Dark Lord  ( C'mon, Pete!)
Oh, Dark Lord (Lighten up!)
I'll be forward (Tell it to the Aurors)
And tell you that the prospect's slim (Cut the crap and bring me the boy!)
There are hordes (My, my, my)
Of wizards  (Uh-huh?)
Who protect him

Voldemort: (spoken) Bwha ha ha ha...let me 'splain...mmmmm...?

(singing): All we need is just one more curse
Potter will be riding in the back of a hearse
With my faithful servant let your worries disburse
We will git him

Wormtail: Aren't I faithful servant too?
I brought Bertha Jorkins to you
It's just  that I have a little issue...

Voldemort:  We will git him!

(Enter Nagini)

If you really have the itch
If you want to prove where you now stand
I'll let you do something which
Many would love to give me their right hand

(Spoken):  Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute...(listens to Nagini)
Nagini has interesting news, Wormtail.  According to her, there is an old Muggle standing right outside this room listening to every word we say.

(Wormtail, with a mixture of fear and alarm goes to the door and opens it, revealing Frank Bryce behind it.  Wormtail grabs him and drags him into the room)

Voldemort: You heard everything, Muggle?

Frank Bryce: I know I've heard enough to interest the police tonight, I have.  You've done murder and you're planning more!  And I'll tell you this, too...my wife knows I'm up here, and if don't come back - 

Voldemort:  You have no wife.  Nobody knows where you are.  You told nobody you were coming.  Do not lie to Lord Voldemort, Muggle, for he knows...he always knows...

Frank Bryce:  Is that right?  Lord is it?  Well, I don't think much of your manners, "my Lord".  Turn around and face me like a man, why don't you?

Voldemort: But I am not a man, Muggle.  I am much, much more than a man.  However...why not?  I will face you...Wormtail, come turn my chair around  (Wormtail whimpers) You heard me, Wormtail!

(Wormtail takes the chair and turns it around and Frank Bryce lets out a scream.  Voldemort lifts up his wand and with a flash of green light Frank Bryce falls to the floor dead.  Wormtail looks horrified and realizes that he should no longer argue with the Dark Lord)

Voldemort (Wormtail): (singing)    Now you ( I ) know who's in control
You ( I ) better do what I have (he has) said
Will will accomplish our goal:
Harry Potter is as good as dead
Harry Potter is as good as dead
Harry Potter is as good as dead

Wormtail:  We'll mix up a magical brew

Voldemort:  Put me in it an' then I'll have a body that's new

Wormtail:  You need blood and only Potter's will do

Voldemort: I need blood and only Potter's will do

Voldemort (Wormtail) : I ( You ) need blood and only Potter's will do

Voldemort:  So let's git him!


-Gail B...*whew*

houseofbohacek at earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.

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