(FILK) Hermione's Revenge

[Gail Bohacek]

No: HPFGUIDX 87277

Hermione's Revenge

(Yet another FILK to the tune of "The Meek Shall Inherit" from the musical "Little Shop of Horrors")

Be patient with me, folks...I've only got a few more songs to complete... I'll be finished with this musical and then it's back to the Beatles.

Dedicated to Frankus

Midi is here: http://addagirl.com/littleshop.htm 


(Scene:  In front of the Gryffindor Common Room scrim, Harry is  reading reading a copy of The Daily Prophet.  Hermione is  nearby.   Alicia, Katie and Angelina are off to one side.  Ron enters stage right.)

(Cue music for "Hermione's Revenge")

Ron: (Spoken): Hermione!  Remember how you got mad at that Skeeter cow at theThree Broomsticks a while ago?  Well, you should see what she wrote about you!

(Singing): 

Hey Harry Potter, you read this?
The Daily Prophet, you're on the front page
I knew that Skeeter would be pissed
After Hermione vented her rage
"Harry Potter's Secret Heartache
By a Miss Granger, who is Muggle born
Playing with two people's affections
Potter and Krum, both of them should be warned!"

Alicia, Katie and Angelina:

They really hate Rita Skeeter
For the stories she creates
She may not be a Death Eater
But she sure shares the same traits
The Trio want to defeat her
Finding how she infiltrates
Hermione is gonna get 
Miss Rita Skeeter, just you wait

Harry (spoken):  You haven't read her most recent fabrication, Ron...

(Singing):

This has become ridiculous
Here is today's news, look at the headline
Says here, "Disturbed and Dangerous"
My brain is addled by that scar of mine
"Scar hurt so bad, left his lesson
Makes him unstable," is what Skeeter wrote
Says that I may just want attention
And I speak Parseltounge - a Malfoy quote

Hermione:

Skeeter is writing all of this scandal
Tried to ignore it but I
Cannot anymore
She is behaving
Just like a vandal
Assassinating our character - this means war!
How can they print this?
I don't believe it
They're not reporting truth
It's tabloid, that is why
People who read and
Those with naive wit
Accept all of her nasty, awful ,evil, lies

How?  How?  She's not allowed into the school
How?  How?  Wasn't there but somehow she knew
How?   How?  It's our reputation that's being attacked
Before that she wrote and Hagrid almost got sacked
Somebody must stop her, she's a maniac
Somehow I must get Skeeter back!

(Hermione looks out the window)

Just see, there's Malfoy, I bet that boy
Is in on the ploy with his wicked Slyth'rin band
Looks like he's whisp'ring, looks like he's talking
To something which he is holding tight in his hand

(Alicia, Katie, Angelina):
They really hate Rita Skeeter

Ron:  What could it be?

(For the stories she creates)

Harry:   A bug, maybe?  (When Hermione hears this, her eyes open wide as she is thinking of something.  She thoughtfully brushes her hand over her hair and then pretends to be speaking to something she is holding in her hand)

(She may not be a Death Eater)

Harry: Or walkie-talkie?

(But she sure shares the same traits)

Ron (Watching Hermione's odd behavior): Hermione?

(The Trio want to defeat her)

Hermione:  That's how she spies!

(Finding how she infiltrates)

Hermione:  Animagi!  (Hermione runs off to the library, exiting stage right.)

(Hermione is gonna get Miss Rita Skeeter)

Ron and Harry Join in: 

Hermione is gonna get Miss Rita Skeeter
Hermione is gonna get Miss Rita Skeeter
Just you wait


-Gail B.
houseofbohacek at earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.

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