Slavery (filk)

[Caius Marcius <coriolan_cmc@hotmail.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 52353

Slavery 

To the tune of the title song from Sondheim's Company

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/shows/company.html

Dedicated to Suzanne Chiles and the Potter-Sondheim fan club


THE SCENE: The Malfoy Estate, during the late 1980s. DOBBY is sound 
asleep, as pleasant dreamy voices chimes in his out-sized ears

VOICES: 
Dobby...
Dobby...
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-Dobby
..

(DOBBY is abruptly awakened by the harsh buzz of the servant's bell. 
The MALFOYS are holding a lavish banquet this Saturday evening, and 
DOBBY is required to serve as the sole wait-staff. During the song, 
he rushes about madly, trying to attend to each impatient guest, 
while simultaneously attending to the ample repast baking in the 
kitchen)

THE MALFOYS AND THEIR GUESTS [variously]:
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobby dummy....
Dobby dopey...
Dobby...
Dobby dammit
.
Dobby, we've been trying to find you

.
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobby dummy

.
Dobby dopey...
Dobby, it's your last chance to serve us

.
Dob...
Dobbo...
Dobby elf...
Dobby dearest...
Dobby, we've been trying to make you obey

.
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobby Dummy....
Changeling...
Bumbling...
The Crabbes were asking....
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobbin...
Dobby...
Dob-o...
Dobby, there is something we need you to bring! 

.
Dobby...
Dobby dopey...
Dammit

.
Look here...
Why aren't you busy? 

.
Where have you been hiding, Dobbo? ....
Dobby...
Fella...
Dobby...
Brownie...
Where have you been? ...
Step on it, you ugly gnome....
Seems like weeks since we asked for brew! ...
Dobby, we've been looking for you! ...
Drop dead pretty soon...
Dobby, get a  beaker for Rookwood...
Crabbe and Lestrange get into town tomorrow....
How about some Shiraz for MacNair?...
Why don't we all go see Barty Crouch next weekend? ...
Dob, we're feeding Eaters this Saturday night. ...
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobby, dummy...
We can't wait till Thursday! ...
Dobby...
Pixie...
Dobby dopey...
Time to end your leisure, get cracking tonight! ...
Dobby...
Dobbo...
Dobby dammit...
Time to rock, you dummy....
Dobby dearest...
Dobby, fella...
Dobby dummy.


ALL 
Dobby, come and bring us our dinner!
We are so mad for our food!
Dobby, come and bring us our dinner!
Come and feed hungry us,
Death Eaters, eat with us--
You ellllllllllllllllfffffffffffffff you!

DOBBY:
All toil
Soiree 
It's my
Slavery
Pots boil
No pay
I sigh
Slavery
Long nights,
No rights,
Ball & chain,
Death threats,
Cold sweats,
Their beck and call.
Pies bake
Hot cakes
Awful pain,
Entrées 
On trays
My master drawls--
"House elf,
House elf, chill us our wine
House elf, fill up our stein
Yo, Dobby our elf!"
For all those cruel and brutal people, those fiends!
Those cruel and brutal people, those Malfoy fiends!
And that's why I'm going all out, isn't it?
That's why I'm going all out,
Going all out!

MALFOYS AND GUESTS [variously]:
Dobby...
Dobby...
Dobby dummy....
Dobby dopey...
Dobby...
Dobbin dammit....
Dobby...
Dobby... 
Changeling, can you do me a favor?....
Dobby dummy.... 
Dobby dopey...
Listen, pal, you're merely our minion...
Dob... Try this, Draco...
Dobbo...
Dobby elf...
Dobby pixie...
Dobby, there's a problem, 
I'm needing more ice...
Dobby... Igor, can I owl you back tomorrow? ......
Dobby... 
Dobby Dummy....
Changeling...
Dammit...
Just half an hour...
Dobby, please attend to the
guests once or twice...
Dobby...Dobby, I can't take this....
Dobby... more Merlot by Friday...
Dobby dopey...
Beat him...
Look here...
What's happened to you? ....
Dobby...
Fella...
Kiddo...
Where have you been? ....
Dobby, where have you been? ....
Step on it I mean at once!...
Dobby, punishments I'll apply... 
Lucius, love, I'll curse him after...
Dobby, we've been looking for you... even if he can't...
Drop by anytime... Sorry, Ev, I made a date with Lestrange and 
Bagman...

FEMALE GUESTS:
Dobby, dear, let's get down to business...

MALE GUESTS:
Lookit, elf, I can't wait til Thursday evening...

FEMALE GUESTS:
Dobby, you've been acting peculiar.....

MALE GUESTS:
Dobby boy, you know how I hate these delays....

FEMALE GUESTS:
Funny thing, your head was banged only last night...

DOBBY:
Bagman
Goyle
Mulciber...I...

FEMALE GUESTS:
You shouldn't say that, but...

DOBBY
Travers...MacNair...Wicked people!...

FEMALE GUESTS:
Dobby, can't you  hurry, you sure you're all right? ....

MALE GUESTS:
Dobby...Dobby...Dobby dummy....

FEMALE GUESTS:
He has done something wrong! ....

MALE GUESTS:
Dobby bubi, Dobby fella, Dobby, Dobby...

MALFOYS AND GUESTS [together]:
Dobby, come and bring us our dinner!
We are so mad for our food!
Dobby, come and bring us our dinner!
Come and feed hungry us,
Death Eaters, eat with us--
You ellllllllllllllllfffffffffffffff you!

(The dinner finally ready, DOBBY swiftly sets each place, as the 
CHORUS singles him out)

All toil
Soiree 
It's your
Slavery
Pots boil
No pay
You sigh
Slavery
Long nights,
No rights,
Ball & chain,
Death threats,
Cold sweats,
Our beck and call.
He bakes
Hot cakes
Awful pain,
Entrées 
On trays
Your master drawls--
"House elf,
House elf, chill us our wine
House elf, fill up our stein
Yo, Dobby my elf!"
For all those cruel and brutal people, us fiends!
Those cruel and brutal people, those Malfoy fiends!
And that's why you're going all out, isn't it?
That's why you're going all out,
Going all out!

MALE GUESTS:
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

FEMALE GUESTS:
You Elffff



DOBBY:
I'm his elf and I'm his elf and I'm his elf and I'm his elf
And I'm his elf and I'm his elf and I'm his elf!
I elf you!

ALL:
Slavery! Slavery!
Slavery!
Lots of
Drudgery!
Years of
Misery!
Elves need 
Slavery!
Slavery!
Slavery!

(As the last place is set, DOBBY collapses as the Death Eaters feast)

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm