Heartless Dursleys

[GRACE701 <grace701@yahoo.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 52829

Carrie S. wrote:
>>I think that [Petunia] did care for her sister, a little. This 
could be part of *why* the Dursley's hate wizards so much - they 
killed her sister. 
<snip> 
Petunia can't even say James name, it's all she could do to spit 
out "that Potter". 
<snip> 
>>I think [the Dursleys'] abuse of [Harry] started in a lame attempt 
to stiffle his magical ability..."for his own good". 
<snip>
<end> 
 
nobody's rib wrote:
<snip>
>>I think that instead she _was_ jealous of the attention Lilly 
received from her parents for being a witch, but not so much that 
she hated her, and that she still mourned the death of her sister.  
Blaming Lily for her own death seems like a likely grieving 
mechanism.  ie, If Lily had not been so involved in the wizard 
world, then she would not have died.  (Petunia might draw a 
parallel between this and an addict dying from an overdose.  You 
love the person, but hate them for getting involved with a dangerous 
lifestyle that ended up killing them, and, ultimately, you also hate 
that dangerous lifestyle - and anything associated with it.)  This 
train of thought works only if Petunia did not hate Lily (or, at 
least, did not hate her before her death).
 
Also, since Lily grew up in the muggle world, couldn't Petunia view 
Lily's marrying a wizard and choosing to live in the wizard world as 
a family betrayal?  <snip>  And this is a betrayal that would not 
> have happened had "that Potter [boy]" not swooped in and wooed 
Lily away from the (safer, more normal) muggle world.  With James 
out of the picture, Lily might have returned to the muggle world 
after graduating from Hogwarts.  (Following up with the 
aforementioned addict parallel, Petunia could see James as the drug 
dealer - or at least the boyfriend that validated the drug-using 
lifestyle.  His differing opinions on magic would counter any of 
Petunia's attempts at having a magic-intervention.)  Really, it is 
that romance that may have cemented Lily's living in the wizard 
world - and thus also cemented her death.  
 
Harry has been referred to as physically resembling James.  If 
Petunia hates James and places responsibility for Lily's death on 
magic/ blames James for keeping Lily in the magic world, then 
everytime she looks at Harry she would see a reminder of the reason 
her sister died - a likely explanation for (at least part of) the 
Dursley's treatment of Harry.<<


Very good points here Nobody's rib!  This reminds me of how in PoA, 
Aunt Marge seems to despise James, but why?  It has to be because 
Petunia and Vernon had certainly said horrible things about him.  
Aunt Marge never mentions Lily because after-all it is James' fault 
that Lily is dead.  Lily, in a way can do no wrong, she was just 
sucked into a life she didn't belong in.  That is why Aunt 
Marge "lectures" Harry, hoping to show that his dad's way isn't the 
right way.
 

>>back to family betrayal/ Harry following in his parents' 
footsteps:  
(1) If Petunia feels Lily betrayed her family by living in the 
wizard world, might she also fear that Harry would also betray the 
family one day/ follow in his mother's footsteps?  If she believes 
this strongly enough, she might prepare herself to never love him so 
that she will never be stung by his eventual betrayal.<< 

I can see it not as betrayal, but guarding herself from having to 
deal with another terrible loss.

<snip>


I have to say that the Dursley's parents are all about tough love.  
They shower Dudley Dinks with presents for his birthday; basically 
give him anything that he wants and fill his mouth to the point he's 
wider than the table.  The reverse happens to Harry in which he gets 
absolutely no presents; in captivity; enslaved and starved, *but* 
they still take care of him.  It's a scale of one to ten: One is 
Harry: not getting enough of anything and Ten is Dudley Dinks who 
receives too much.  They show each of these kids the wrong kind of 
love.

Greicy