[HPforGrownups] TBAY: Movie contamination? WAS Re: How long has Veron Dur...

[IAmLordCassandra at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 49191

In a message dated 1/4/2003 6:13:25 AM Eastern Standard Time, 
pipdowns at etchells0.demon.co.uk writes:


> The recording switched off, and George,in his doctor's outfit, 
> smiled kindly at Cassie. "When did you start thinking that the first 
> time we see the Dursley's is *after* Harry is deposited on their 
> doorstep?"
> 
> Cassie stared blankly at him
> "Well it is. Voldemort kills the Potters, Harry gets deposited on 
> the doorstep, eleven years later we see the Dursley's"
> 
> George sighs, pats Cassie on the hand in a comforting manner, and 
> goes outside to where the Pipsqueak is waiting.
> 
> "Is she all right, Doctor?" says Pip. "I brought her as soon as I 
> could."
> 
> George sighs. "I'm not sure. I think it might be movie 
> contamination."
> 
> "Movie contamination?"
> 
> "Yes. Cassie's confusing the first scenes in TCTTMNB (where we don't 
> see the Dursley's until *after* Harry arrives) with the first pages 
> in the *book* (where we have five pages about the Dursley's life 
> *before* Harry)."
> 
> The pipsqueak went white. She knew how contagious movie 
> contamination was. Entire threads could find themselves discussing 
> Ron's visit to the Forbidden Forest in PS/SS before realising that 
> this never happened in the book.
> 
> "Is there a cure?" she quavered.
> 
> George rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "Well, if it is movie 
> contamination, and I'm not yet sure that it is, then there is a 
> prescription that should work."
> 
> "What's that Doctor?"
> 
> "Rereading PS/SS. Even rereading the first chapter might be enough 
> to do the trick."

Cassie looked up at them weakly. 

"It...it was the one tape. It was controlling me. And the men who played 
Quirrell-chan and Sevi-chan are so pretty..." 

Cassie sighed dreamily. 

"Ah-ha!" the doctor exclaimed suddenly 

"Gah!" Pip said in surprise, nearly losing her balance. "What? What is it?" 

"Just as I thought...Stage four of movie contamination." 

"Stage four?" 

"Yes. Also known as the 'bizzare lust phase'. It's clear that Cassie has 
become so infactuated with the characters of Quirrell, Severus Snape, and 
Lucius Malfoy that she has lost all her reasoning and she likes to look at 
the actors who play them in the movies because they all have adorable smiles 
and lovely voices. It is also clear that she lent her book to her girlfriend, 
Kragey, and the only tape she can't seem to find of her talking books seems 
to be the one with that first chapter, which will probably turn up in the 
most obvious of places."  

Cassie hung her head in shame. How could she've let such a thing happen?...

~Cassie~ 
Grace: You have given into your anger...NOW RELEASE YOUR RANDINESS! 
Snape: For the final time I am NOT going to have sex with you! 
Dumbledore: *enters* About to have sex, are we? Well, be sure and use a 
condom! 
Snape: Condom? 
Dumbledore: Yes. I happen to have some with me. *pulls out a box* Bertie 
Botts Every Flavour Condoms! 
Grace: Bertie Botts Every Flavour Condoms? 
Dumbledore: Yes. I was very unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit 
flavoured one. Since then I've lost my liking for them. 
All: 0_o;  

          -This excerpt brought to you by the minds of Cassie and Grace. 
(Yes, we're just as scared as you are right now.)


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